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Think I'm a lesbian, but I have a boyfriend of two years...

Pretty much what the title suggests to be honest.

I'm 21, have always found women attractive (pretty sure I'm bisexual!) but I have a boyfriend of two years.

Sex doesnt always feel that fun, but I do love men and c*cks etc etc but I just really want to be with a woman at the moment.

To any bisexual women out there, is this normal? Or am I a lesbian? I find women attractive, I get way more turned on by women and I'm craving a female aprtnership.

PS. I'm also moving in with my boyfriend next week into our first flat together.

Thanks.

Reply 1

marcusmerehay

17

If you're showing any kind of commitment to your boyfriend, then you're at least bi-curious and at most bisexual.

If you're craving a female partnership, why are you moving in with your boyfriend? :lolwut:

Reply 2

Alpharius

15

So it went from Lesbian to Bisexual?

Thats what I think.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

i think im showing committment to my boyfriend because I love him, more as a friend than as a sexual partner, and because I am just that, committed.

I cant get out of it, and I'm not sure I want to, just in case the grass is always greener.

My parents were surprised when I started getting with guys as they had always assumed i was gay. That's pretty bad!!!

Reply 4

acat

12

Hahaha! I'm sure if you inform your boyfriend of this he will be more than happy in having another female in the realtionship :smile:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Alpharius

So it went from Lesbian to Bisexual?

Thats what I think.

No. I am bisexual. I've slept with several women.

Reply 6

Boogaloo_Shrimp

10

What was the question?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Boogaloo_Shrimp

What was the question?

i would just love some advice.

I didnt really word it very well sorry.

Should I stay with my bf? Should I cheat with a girl and see if its still what I want?

Not sure I can be with a man for the rest of my life.

Thanks :smile:

Reply 8

Alpharius

15

Original post by Anonymous

No. I am bisexual. I've slept with several women.

Then you've answered your own question. Right there, I bolded it for you for ease.

/thread.

Reply 9

Nick Longjohnson

16

1. Bring girl home
2. Make sure boyfriend walks in on you, and ask him to join in
3. ??????????
4. :sexface:

Reply 10

Ciaran88

15

Original post by Alpharius

So it went from Lesbian to Bisexual?

Thats what I think.

That song has a lot to answer for :dry:

Reply 11

sexygenocide

7

listen here is what u need to

hi! i hear you are havin a problem wit your boyfriend are are at a crossroads in your life is to short 2 be with some1 who is wrong fo you are your own person and dont ever let him try to change you. it makes me sick when i read things like this where girls are bein pressured into things that are not there ideals and they are left often in a state of wonder and hey man this is not what i asked for if ou know what i mean anyway i think you should dumpp her and find out what it is u want in a man as she is not right for you and even if you are gay there is plenty of acceptance in the world for that look at elton and freddy mecary so basically deont worry about what ur parents think ok it shouldnt matter i know i wouldnt care if i had a son who was gay so there are people in the worl who care about u so dont give

Reply 12

DYKWIA

13

Don't string him along if there is any doubt in your mind. I have been on the receiving end of this (and I was only with the woman 9 weeks) and it isn't nice. It would be far better to have the courage to let him go. If you don't feel your relationship has a future then don't continue it. Does he know you're bi? If he does, he is a better person than me. I certainly wouldn't continue with a woman who wasn't straight.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 13

Kiss

2

Original post by Alpharius

Then you've answered your own question. Right there, I bolded it for you for ease.

/thread.

This.

Reply 14

Alpharius

15

Original post by Kiss

This.

I do love it when they answer their own question.

If only they could do that before posting it and wasting peoples time...

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Alpharius

I do love it when they answer their own question.

If only they could do that before posting it and wasting peoples time...

hellooo

Its called a forum, where I can get advice from people whether I should act on my feelings or ignore them, not have somebody who's just going to insult my thread.

As you should realise I cant talk to ANYBODY about this because everybody knows my boyfriend, and i have no time alone to think about it because he is ALWAYS with me.

It was a query, and maybe if you'd read what I asked you wouldnt be so quick to judge.

I'm not asking if im bisexual, I'm tryng to get some feedback from people as to whether I should do anything.

Thanks.

Reply 16

TheMeister

15

I would say it's possible to have a meaningful heterosexual relationship and still be bisexual at the same time. That said, it seems like you're doubting the level of commitment you're giving him despite the fact that you must've had some overtly sexual feelings towards him in the first place. My advice is, don't doubt what you've got because the grass might seem greener on the other side. The very fact that it's something you've not experimented with (at least, you haven't mentioned that you have), might be the very reason you crave it. Call me an old romantic, but wait for the relationship to come to a natural end and then make a choice. Don't force anything or you'll end up in a lesbian relationship you could potentially end up disliking and a ex-boyfriend whose sore ego is more than enough reason for him to hate you.

Reply 17

heidigirl

17

It's normal to be attracted to one gender more than the other.

I consider myself to be bisexual, I am definitely attracted to both men and women, but I'm definitely more attracted to women, and I've recently come to the conclusion that I don't think relationships with guys work for me. The idea of ending up with a guy has just become more and more weird feeling. I mean I truly loved my last boyfriend, but it always felt like there was something missing and sex just didn't feel that fun; breaking up with him was the best thing at the time, because we can continue to be friends without boyfriend/girlfriend relationship stuff getting in the way. I still love him, but as a friend and I don't regret breaking up with him at all.

Tbh, it sounds like you need to carefully consider where you stand with your boyfriend. Continuing on with him because you feel you've got to the stage where you're comitted and you feel like you 'can't' get out of it sounds like you're doing it for all the wrong reasons. Do you really want to end up with the both of you unhappy further down the line because you didn't break it off when you realised it might not be quite right? It's not fair on you, and it's not fair on him. Don't you think your boyfriend will be even more hurt if he finds out much later that you don't feel the same way he (presumably) feels about you and instead only loves him as a friend, than if you break up with him now?

Reply 18

Cirsium

19

I think a really key point to make here is that you're not 'presumably straight wondering if you're bisexual'. You're not unsure about your feelings as a result of having never been with a woman: you have. You say you still like sex and cock... you just want to be with a woman. You've even suggested yourself cheating. To me that doesn't sound like 'actually I might be a lesbian'. It sounds like 'actually I'm not attracted enough to my boyfriend'. An ex of mine went on to date a girl who self identified as a lesbian. She'd left her previous boyfriend to be with girls, claiming to be a lesbian, and somehow carried on saying she was one while sleeping with a new guy. Clearly, however confused she was, she wasn't a 6 on the Kinsey scale. And neither, from the looks of things, are you.

As I say, you've been with women before, and never felt the need to identify as a lesbian before. You don't suddenly feel disgusted by the idea of being with a man - just uninterested in your boyfriend. I don't think you're a lesbian. I think you've just fallen out of lust with the guy you're with, and it's easier to say that's because of "men in general" than admit to hurting someone you still care a lot about. :dontknow:

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Bekaboo

I think a really key point to make here is that you're not 'presumably straight wondering if you're bisexual'. You're not unsure about your feelings as a result of having never been with a woman: you have. You say you still like sex and cock... you just want to be with a woman. You've even suggested yourself cheating. To me that doesn't sound like 'actually I might be a lesbian'. It sounds like 'actually I'm not attracted enough to my boyfriend'. An ex of mine went on to date a girl who self identified as a lesbian. She'd left her previous boyfriend to be with girls, claiming to be a lesbian, and somehow carried on saying she was one while sleeping with a new guy. Clearly, however confused she was, she wasn't a 6 on the Kinsey scale. And neither, from the looks of things, are you.

As I say, you've been with women before, and never felt the need to identify as a lesbian before. You don't suddenly feel disgusted by the idea of being with a man - just uninterested in your boyfriend. I don't think you're a lesbian. I think you've just fallen out of lust with the guy you're with, and it's easier to say that's because of "men in general" than admit to hurting someone you still care a lot about. :dontknow:

thanks for your advice. I didnt make it clear, I have slept with women before.

Think I'm a lesbian, but I have a boyfriend of two years...

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