My brother makes my parents mad and cry all night... :(
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Original post by 000015080
think your parents should kick him out of the house and he'll come back himself when he has learned a lesson.
My dad could do that, but if my mum found out, she'll most likely get a heart attack.
Original post by Anonymous
Anon please, its a very serious and personal issue.
So, I am 19, and my brother 15. My brother is doing so much **** these days, and makes my parents cry all night and get mentally sick as well. He doesn't care about my parents and doesn't give a damn, how you can say it.
What happened was, my parents found out that he has been lyeing to them for a long time. Whenever he goes out, he says hes going with a friend, but actually goes out with a girl. They finally found out a week ago and have been in extremely terrible situation since.
(If it matters: we are from Pakistani background)
The fact that he goes out with a girl is not that big a problem as that he doesn't care about his parents and has been lyeing to them and that they are worried, especially because the girl's dad (also Pakistani) also called my dad yesterday saying "If I see your son with my daughter again, don't ask me if something happens to him one day!".
My dad told him to stop going out with her at this age and that they are extremely worried about him that he will get into serious problems with the girl's dad and eventually sister as well.
When my dad told him to think about your mum, who has headache all night and can't sleep and cryes all night, he replied "So, what? What can I do about that?"
I am really worried about my parents, because I can't see them cry and be in this state.
My brother also threatened and said "Let me do what I want and if you don't, I will move out" -- This would be the worst situation. Should this happen, I'm sure my mum won't be okay from that day. Something will happen to her. I don't even wanna imagine what could happen to her from that shock.
Can anybody suggest any solutions please?
* How to tell my brother to stop being a d*** and start caring about his parents
* How to get him back and realise what he is doing and what could happen if he continues / moves out
P.S. I would have no reason to make this story up. It is a 100% true situation and not a troll.
So, I am 19, and my brother 15. My brother is doing so much **** these days, and makes my parents cry all night and get mentally sick as well. He doesn't care about my parents and doesn't give a damn, how you can say it.
What happened was, my parents found out that he has been lyeing to them for a long time. Whenever he goes out, he says hes going with a friend, but actually goes out with a girl. They finally found out a week ago and have been in extremely terrible situation since.
(If it matters: we are from Pakistani background)
The fact that he goes out with a girl is not that big a problem as that he doesn't care about his parents and has been lyeing to them and that they are worried, especially because the girl's dad (also Pakistani) also called my dad yesterday saying "If I see your son with my daughter again, don't ask me if something happens to him one day!".
My dad told him to stop going out with her at this age and that they are extremely worried about him that he will get into serious problems with the girl's dad and eventually sister as well.
When my dad told him to think about your mum, who has headache all night and can't sleep and cryes all night, he replied "So, what? What can I do about that?"
I am really worried about my parents, because I can't see them cry and be in this state.
My brother also threatened and said "Let me do what I want and if you don't, I will move out" -- This would be the worst situation. Should this happen, I'm sure my mum won't be okay from that day. Something will happen to her. I don't even wanna imagine what could happen to her from that shock.
Can anybody suggest any solutions please?
* How to tell my brother to stop being a d*** and start caring about his parents
* How to get him back and realise what he is doing and what could happen if he continues / moves out
P.S. I would have no reason to make this story up. It is a 100% true situation and not a troll.
I understand your story (I'm Pakistani, too)
Talk to him calmly, dont shout or anything, explain the situation how you just did now and tell him about your mothers state, tell him hes young and foolish atm and doesn't know the outcomes to what hes doing.
If he's acting arrogant and doesn't care for your parents feelings let him get beat up, he'll just have to learn the hard way. In a couple of years he will look back and regret what hes done, give him some examples of ppl you know who'cve runaway or something and have lived to regret it.
I hope everything works out x
Original post by chocoholic.
I understand your story (I'm Pakistani, too)
Talk to him calmly, dont shout or anything, explain the situation how you just did now and tell him about your mothers state, tell him hes young and foolish atm and doesn't know the outcomes to what hes doing.
If he's acting arrogant and doesn't care for your parents feelings let him get beat up, he'll just have to learn the hard way. In a couple of years he will look back and regret what hes done, give him some examples of ppl you know who'cve runaway or something and have lived to regret it.
I hope everything works out x
Talk to him calmly, dont shout or anything, explain the situation how you just did now and tell him about your mothers state, tell him hes young and foolish atm and doesn't know the outcomes to what hes doing.
If he's acting arrogant and doesn't care for your parents feelings let him get beat up, he'll just have to learn the hard way. In a couple of years he will look back and regret what hes done, give him some examples of ppl you know who'cve runaway or something and have lived to regret it.
I hope everything works out x
Thanks, but if we beat him up or touch him, children in the UK know their rights. We're not in Pakistan. If we did that, he would go to the police. It's not Pakistan, so we can't do all that.
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks, but if we beat him up or touch him, children in the UK know their rights. We're not in Pakistan. If we did that, he would go to the police. It's not Pakistan, so we can't do all that.
I'm not telling you to beat him up!! You can't beat your own son, I meant if the gf's dad is going to beat him up he'll come back and realise his mistake.
Unfortunately, I know that his behaviour may not be in the culture of your community, but it is perfectly normal and in fact very healthy to be dating girls. Repressing one's natural desires to interact with the opposite sex, simply for the sake of adhering to some restrictive culture he doesn't believe in, is ridiculous in my opinion. As many people have already said, your parents are the ones that need to be more understanding and tolerant. I only feel sorry for your brother who is just trying to be a normal healthy 15 year old.
You live in a western democracy, boys are allowed to go out with girls.
Anyone else wondering how this thread just picked up where it left off seven months later?
Original post by Anonymous
Anon please, its a very serious and personal issue.
So, I am 19, and my brother 15. My brother is doing so much **** these days, and makes my parents cry all night and get mentally sick as well. He doesn't care about my parents and doesn't give a damn, how you can say it.
What happened was, my parents found out that he has been lyeing to them for a long time. Whenever he goes out, he says hes going with a friend, but actually goes out with a girl. They finally found out a week ago and have been in extremely terrible situation since.
(If it matters: we are from Pakistani background)
The fact that he goes out with a girl is not that big a problem as that he doesn't care about his parents and has been lyeing to them and that they are worried, especially because the girl's dad (also Pakistani) also called my dad yesterday saying "If I see your son with my daughter again, don't ask me if something happens to him one day!".
My dad told him to stop going out with her at this age and that they are extremely worried about him that he will get into serious problems with the girl's dad and eventually sister as well.
When my dad told him to think about your mum, who has headache all night and can't sleep and cryes all night, he replied "So, what? What can I do about that?"
I am really worried about my parents, because I can't see them cry and be in this state.
My brother also threatened and said "Let me do what I want and if you don't, I will move out" -- This would be the worst situation. Should this happen, I'm sure my mum won't be okay from that day. Something will happen to her. I don't even wanna imagine what could happen to her from that shock.
Can anybody suggest any solutions please?
* How to tell my brother to stop being a d*** and start caring about his parents
* How to get him back and realise what he is doing and what could happen if he continues / moves out
P.S. I would have no reason to make this story up. It is a 100% true situation and not a troll.
So, I am 19, and my brother 15. My brother is doing so much **** these days, and makes my parents cry all night and get mentally sick as well. He doesn't care about my parents and doesn't give a damn, how you can say it.
What happened was, my parents found out that he has been lyeing to them for a long time. Whenever he goes out, he says hes going with a friend, but actually goes out with a girl. They finally found out a week ago and have been in extremely terrible situation since.
(If it matters: we are from Pakistani background)
The fact that he goes out with a girl is not that big a problem as that he doesn't care about his parents and has been lyeing to them and that they are worried, especially because the girl's dad (also Pakistani) also called my dad yesterday saying "If I see your son with my daughter again, don't ask me if something happens to him one day!".
My dad told him to stop going out with her at this age and that they are extremely worried about him that he will get into serious problems with the girl's dad and eventually sister as well.
When my dad told him to think about your mum, who has headache all night and can't sleep and cryes all night, he replied "So, what? What can I do about that?"
I am really worried about my parents, because I can't see them cry and be in this state.
My brother also threatened and said "Let me do what I want and if you don't, I will move out" -- This would be the worst situation. Should this happen, I'm sure my mum won't be okay from that day. Something will happen to her. I don't even wanna imagine what could happen to her from that shock.
Can anybody suggest any solutions please?
* How to tell my brother to stop being a d*** and start caring about his parents
* How to get him back and realise what he is doing and what could happen if he continues / moves out
P.S. I would have no reason to make this story up. It is a 100% true situation and not a troll.
Are you for real, some kids are running around with guns and selling drugs in my area, and all your brother is doing is going out with a girl. Your parents need to talk to him and be more liberal, he will see for himself that it is not all that it is cut out to be. But if they use force and all this cry cry stuff, it will not do anything. He is probably rebelling because he feels sufficated, I would feel like that under those circumstances.
Original post by Anonymous
Yes, for this Western Culture. But not for my culture. My family is a very respected family and in my Islamic community it is very well seen of. (I know you probably are thinking blah, blah blah..., but trust me it is a very serious issue in my community.)
Again: It is only normal in the Western Culture. Not in my community and culture.
Again: It is only normal in the Western Culture. Not in my community and culture.
He may have a different opinion on things to your community/culture/religious views etc. I'm not denying it isn't a serious issue for people in such a community, but it's one he probably doesn't want to be part of anyway and nobody should force him to adopt such a mentality. It's his decision and if more people learnt to accept that, the easier it'd be for them.
OOh ppl, if u can't help him atleast don't giv him silly comments about how his family is or hw pakistani cultures/families are.....
if u can't help don't trouble him more... he has posted a thread to get help...everyone needs to help him if u can or jst don't post (i know i m being harsh but it's true)
Also, now if he has such a family, wut can he do??...he jst needs help about his current problem....he can't change his family.
Ohhk so i m a paki too....i m really glad to hear that u, as an elder bro, is trying to solve ur family prob....u sound like a responsible and caring person bcoz u seem to be understanding ur responsibility as an elder bro and caring about ur parents, especially ur mom.
INSHAALLAH, by ALLAH's grace, ur problem will soon b solved bcoz u r trying ur best to solve ur family probs and it will....INSHAALLAH i will pray for u and ur family....
Just get ur bro to hav a conversation wid u and then while ur talking to him start telling him about the probs he cud probably face due to all this in the future - according to what u stated, his gf's dad cud do something wrong to him ryt? and ur parents do not like him having a relationship wid a girl at such a young age? (according to the western ppl, i know it sounds a bit silly, but look at this situation from our side if u can).....tell him about hw our parents hav struggled to earn so much and bring us up in such an expensive country....give him sum examples of ppl who r suffering in pak and whose parents dump them and then those children get in the wrong hands, their parents give them poison bcoz they can't earn enough for them (it really comes up in the news u c), and ask him to think about wut will happen if he continues to do all this - it cud be threatening to his life, affect his studies and then his future, it cud b threatening to his (and ur parents), ask him to think about his parents if he does not care about his own life bcoz of a single girl, tell him that he can finish his studies and college/uni and then get married to a gud girl, there r so many girls in this world who do not hav psycho dads, and u cud ask that girl to stay away from ur bro bcoz her dad seems to b so bad to u guyz, y duz taht grl's dad threaten u guyz if he can't handle his own daughter? ask that grl to stay away from ur bro and tell her that u r asking her to do so bcoz her dad seems to threaten u guyz bcoz of them staying together, try all means, and INSHAALLAH anyone will work....
also, one last thing, ask ur mom to calm down (i know it is VERY easy to say so but VERY difficult to calm down in such a situation) and try to deal wid the situation wid her help bcoz she will probably understand u and try to calm a bit and try to bring a solution to the prob....ask her to stop crying and say that u r wid her and that u r dealing wid the situation and making ur bro understand the consequences....i hop u understand wut i mean....and do let me know wen ur prob get solved.
Also, u cud pray to ALLAH and make ur bro go wid u to the mosque and offer special prayers on fridays and other prayers too. MAY ALLAH HELP YOU. AAMEEN. SUM AAMEEN.
this is all i cud think of...but i will pray for u....and ppl don't blame him as he cannot change his culture, actually no one can....he jst needs a bit of help here.....i hop i helped, dear.
if u can't help don't trouble him more... he has posted a thread to get help...everyone needs to help him if u can or jst don't post (i know i m being harsh but it's true)
Also, now if he has such a family, wut can he do??...he jst needs help about his current problem....he can't change his family.
Ohhk so i m a paki too....i m really glad to hear that u, as an elder bro, is trying to solve ur family prob....u sound like a responsible and caring person bcoz u seem to be understanding ur responsibility as an elder bro and caring about ur parents, especially ur mom.
INSHAALLAH, by ALLAH's grace, ur problem will soon b solved bcoz u r trying ur best to solve ur family probs and it will....INSHAALLAH i will pray for u and ur family....
Just get ur bro to hav a conversation wid u and then while ur talking to him start telling him about the probs he cud probably face due to all this in the future - according to what u stated, his gf's dad cud do something wrong to him ryt? and ur parents do not like him having a relationship wid a girl at such a young age? (according to the western ppl, i know it sounds a bit silly, but look at this situation from our side if u can).....tell him about hw our parents hav struggled to earn so much and bring us up in such an expensive country....give him sum examples of ppl who r suffering in pak and whose parents dump them and then those children get in the wrong hands, their parents give them poison bcoz they can't earn enough for them (it really comes up in the news u c), and ask him to think about wut will happen if he continues to do all this - it cud be threatening to his life, affect his studies and then his future, it cud b threatening to his (and ur parents), ask him to think about his parents if he does not care about his own life bcoz of a single girl, tell him that he can finish his studies and college/uni and then get married to a gud girl, there r so many girls in this world who do not hav psycho dads, and u cud ask that girl to stay away from ur bro bcoz her dad seems to b so bad to u guyz, y duz taht grl's dad threaten u guyz if he can't handle his own daughter? ask that grl to stay away from ur bro and tell her that u r asking her to do so bcoz her dad seems to threaten u guyz bcoz of them staying together, try all means, and INSHAALLAH anyone will work....
also, one last thing, ask ur mom to calm down (i know it is VERY easy to say so but VERY difficult to calm down in such a situation) and try to deal wid the situation wid her help bcoz she will probably understand u and try to calm a bit and try to bring a solution to the prob....ask her to stop crying and say that u r wid her and that u r dealing wid the situation and making ur bro understand the consequences....i hop u understand wut i mean....and do let me know wen ur prob get solved.
Also, u cud pray to ALLAH and make ur bro go wid u to the mosque and offer special prayers on fridays and other prayers too. MAY ALLAH HELP YOU. AAMEEN. SUM AAMEEN.
this is all i cud think of...but i will pray for u....and ppl don't blame him as he cannot change his culture, actually no one can....he jst needs a bit of help here.....i hop i helped, dear.
Original post by M Kh
X
Thanks for that. I really hope the situation gets better, but at the moment it is getting worse and worse from day to day.
I'm loving the Ingrish in the OP. IMMD.
I think what lot of people here are forgetting is that as long as OP's little brother still hangs around with that girl, he's in danger... it seems like these things are pretty major in OP's culture, so it'd be stupid for them to let him do whatever he wants.
OP, have you thought about asking your parents to contact her parents and try sort something out? Or at least calm her dad a little bit? :/
OP, have you thought about asking your parents to contact her parents and try sort something out? Or at least calm her dad a little bit? :/
Did he get her pregnant?
Regardless - you should make him see how much he is hurting your parents and yourself. Or, send him to a boot camp (:
Regardless - you should make him see how much he is hurting your parents and yourself. Or, send him to a boot camp (:
Original post by SomeStudent
I think what lot of people here are forgetting is that as long as OP's little brother still hangs around with that girl, he's in danger... it seems like these things are pretty major in OP's culture, so it'd be stupid for them to let him do whatever he wants.
OP, have you thought about asking your parents to contact her parents and try sort something out? Or at least calm her dad a little bit? :/
OP, have you thought about asking your parents to contact her parents and try sort something out? Or at least calm her dad a little bit? :/
I would love to be able to contact her parents and sort it all out, but I don't have any contact details of her. Tried asking a teacher to get me the details, but obviously teachers wouldn't give out phone numbers or anything else to someone else. How can I possibly contact her parents? My dad actually wants to do that, but is unable to.
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