I think you should carry on with your great work too. If you feel this thread will help you, post again. You don't need to remain anonymous. If you just wanted to post this one time to get it off your chest. WELL DONE.
Don't worry too much about the weight. True recovery would be to disconnect from that entire mentality of 'weight.'
Relax around food, relax around yourself. You are a wondrous person for simply trying to SEEK help as so many people try to hide it. You can manage this.