Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

I'm in a similar position to you, except I also have OCD and have yt to start treatment. The hardest thing for me was to tell anyone or seek help, I used to love my ED, it made me feel happy when I got that buzz from having diet coke for my meals, give my friends/family fatty calorific foods and get this sense of enjoyment from the fact they were eating it and I wasn't, As well As the happy and victorius feeling after purging. But now, it's different. Back then I had no health side effects and no people asking "so, are you sure you're ok?"

Now, I see and feel the side effects. My hair is thin and damaged and falls out, I have 3 red permanent scars on my knuckles with acid-damaged right hand nails, I'm always bloated even when I haven't ate anything all day, my skin is dry with bumps and I have no understanding of my body shape. I look at it, hating myself at the fact that I feel pain when I look at my legs in the mirror and yet my best friend says I have lost so much weight in the past year, but I can't see it. I just, can't.

And now I'm commencing a gap year where I hope to improve and fight the likelihood of a further decline, however I know it's for the best, if I hadve went to uni I would have abused Tge fact I was in charge of what food i buy and how much I ate A's well As being a hypocrite training to become a professional but who has a problem herself. But hey, this time next year I'll be better and know how to cope a well As (hopefully) having an unconditional offer for a degree I know I'm perfect for.

Oh, I'm sorry, that didn't mean to turn into a life story :/
I don't exactly ever tell anyone it I guess

Binging Binging Binging. Failure

I'm about to have to start regaining the stone I lost during a relapse It's so distressing. Does anyone have any advice on how to keep myself motivated?

I'm in the same position, I want to get back up to my April weight before uni in September. I wish I knew though! For a couple of days I was really organised about it: try to make a list, every morning, of the foods you are definitely going to eat in the day (e.g. at least the bare minimum for breakfast, lunch and dinner,) then aim to add extra foods to the list throughout the day. That way, if you're not feeling great you can just stick to the list, and if you're feeling better you can be more adventurous

My main problem atm is that I lie to myself. I automatically put off eating another hour, then another hour, then another... before I know it I've skipped another meal, yet in my head I ate the meal because I intended to, so my next meal only needs to be small... eugh that doesn't even make sense All I can say is good luck music and light walking might help too.

Maybe keep a list up somewhere of things that you want to do when fully well. Or maybe a picture of you when you were healthy and looking happy? Pictures of those who love you and want you to be well? Picturing your Mum's face when you were at your worst whenever you're tempted to skip or cut down on food. It can also help to replace those old nasty mantras with good, healthy ones - 'I need to be healthy and strong to do what I want to do'.

Anyway you're all in my thoughts and prayers for good health and a full recovery!

Going to see Iron Maiden tonight. Hopefully it'll be amazing (run to the hills, people! xD) There's one thing bugging me though:

Eek.
And I really want to gooooo : (

Could you take some food with you, with the excuse that you're running low on cash so don't want to waste money buying overpriced food there?

Going to see Iron Maiden tonight. Hopefully it'll be amazing (run to the hills, people! xD) There's one thing bugging me though:

Eek.
And I really want to gooooo : (

Sorry I can't say anything helpful, but I do want to say that I saw them on Saturday and they were wonderful. I hope you have fun and that it'll be a good escape from things in your head for a while for you.

They've done a lot to help me in the past and I feel guilty for putting them through this again. .

I think it's really important with eating disorders to remind yourself that there is a world and other people out there. It's so easy to live in your mind.

Thanks so much for that idea :] I do something similar: I'll intend to eat a meal, and then think that I won't, but delude myself that it's ok because at least I intended to eat it and didn't plan on skipping, so congratulate myself anyway, which is utterly ridiculous.

Plans are definately the way forward. I'm trying to work out realistically how much I need to eat to get the weight on by myself, as I realllllly don't want NHS intervention, or parental intervention, because both in the past have made things mentally much worse.

Good luck with everything. I really hope you regain the weight you need. It's good to think of it as regaining rather than gaining. You've made the right choice.

Woo, Maiden were awesome ^ ^ Dance of Death and Hallowed Be Thy Name blew me away...and I somehow even managed the Big Mac meal! It tasted absolutely awful :')
Don't let this get in the way of your hopes and dreams everyone, there's a beautiful world out there that we've a right to call our own.

Woo, Maiden were awesome ^ ^ Dance of Death and Hallowed Be Thy Name blew me away...and I somehow even managed the Big Mac meal! It tasted absolutely awful :')
Don't let this get in the way of your hopes and dreams everyone, there's a beautiful world out there that we've a right to call our own.