The Student Room Group

C.o.n.f.i.d.e.n.c.e !!

This is the #1 thing to have in life if you are to succeed in all areas of it especially with relationships.
It is particularly important for males as we have to do everything. Girls do need it but perhaps not as much when it comes to relationships e.t.c as they usually just wait to get asked out.
I have a flatmate that looks like Gollum (not being rude or anything) He's a pretty cool guy. He has a female friend who i'm pretty sure is a FWB. She's fairly hot and they're both third years. Yesterday while at a party he left and never came back. Later on in the night the fire alarm went off and as we were leaving, he had this girl in his room. She was a different girl and average looking. He doesn't dress in any expensive clothing nor is her a muscular jock. He's just a nerdy guy that happens to look like Gollum lol.
Anyway my question is; How do you get REAL confidence? I'm talking about confidence that is subconsious and automatic as breathing and blinking, not the "fake it til you make it" type.
He was very friendly at the start and if you looked at him, you'd think he's the type to sit and play Warhammer and WoW all day long.
I've tried to talk to people but i just cant i dont know what to say and i get very uneasy around people.
Even in a club where its dark and full of drunk people, i cant let loose and dance freely without a friend or someone i know dancing nearby.
I'm a second year and i promised myself that i'd get involved with life and do everything.
HELP??
Reply 1
Some of us just have the knack :sexface:
Reply 2
Original post by rj1990
Some of us just have the knack :sexface:


:colonhash:
Reply 3
Original post by rj1990
Some of us just have the knack :sexface:


Yeah that's not really helpful is it?
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
This is the #1 thing to have in life if you are to succeed in all areas of it especially with relationships.
It is particularly important for males as we have to do everything. Girls do need it but perhaps not as much when it comes to relationships e.t.c as they usually just wait to get asked out.

Anyway my question is; How do you get REAL confidence?
I'm talking about confidence that is subconsious and automatic as breathing and blinking, not the "fake it til you make it" type.


I've tried to talk to people but i just cant i dont know what to say and i get very uneasy around people.
Even in a club where its dark and full of drunk people, i cant let loose and dance freely without a friend or someone i know dancing nearby.
I'm a second year and i promised myself that i'd get involved with life and do everything.
HELP??


But 'fake it till you make it' is the only way. There are no miracle cures or pills. Training is the only way, learning.
You weren't born with muscles, so you train to get them.
You weren't born with the ability to read and write, so you learn it.
You weren't born with confidence, so you train it.


No other way, Period.
Reply 5
Surely you must have a skill that you're confident with. For me it's my sense of humour. I'm not the most confident with girls, especially the initial stages, but as soon as I make them laugh I get comfortable.

If, socially, you're inept then work out. Even if you're not confident mentally, your physique can show you in a different light.
Reply 6
Original post by Cyclo
Surely you must have a skill that you're confident with. For me it's my sense of humour. I'm not the most confident with girls, especially the initial stages, but as soon as I make them laugh I get comfortable.

If, socially, you're inept then work out. Even if you're not confident mentally, your physique can show you in a different light.


I'm only really comfortable around men. I have a good sense of humour and laught at anything. I'm a quiet type of eprson though and sometimes i usually cant be bothered with people and their lives.

I work out physically although im still really skinny.
Reply 7
Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...





















PARKLIFE!!!
Original post by Anonymous
This is the #1 thing to have in life if you are to succeed in all areas of it especially with relationships.
It is particularly important for males as we have to do everything. Girls do need it but perhaps not as much when it comes to relationships e.t.c as they usually just wait to get asked out.
I have a flatmate that looks like Gollum (not being rude or anything) He's a pretty cool guy. He has a female friend who i'm pretty sure is a FWB. She's fairly hot and they're both third years. Yesterday while at a party he left and never came back. Later on in the night the fire alarm went off and as we were leaving, he had this girl in his room. She was a different girl and average looking. He doesn't dress in any expensive clothing nor is her a muscular jock. He's just a nerdy guy that happens to look like Gollum lol.
Anyway my question is; How do you get REAL confidence? I'm talking about confidence that is subconsious and automatic as breathing and blinking, not the "fake it til you make it" type.
He was very friendly at the start and if you looked at him, you'd think he's the type to sit and play Warhammer and WoW all day long.
I've tried to talk to people but i just cant i dont know what to say and i get very uneasy around people.
Even in a club where its dark and full of drunk people, i cant let loose and dance freely without a friend or someone i know dancing nearby.
I'm a second year and i promised myself that i'd get involved with life and do everything.
HELP??


And thats a bad thing why? I play WOW and i play Warhammer in fact my painting has won awards and i have no shortage of confidnece.
Original post by maton_91
Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...





















PARKLIFE!!!


My hero.
Reply 10
Original post by animalnitrate
My hero.


Haha what can I say? :biggrin:
Reply 11
I guess if you develop a life that gives yourself confidence about yourself, it'll be much easier to act confident around other people.

Quick Reply

Latest