Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

Scroll to see replies

Once again Sophie, I refer you to my previous post about me having a heart attack in my twenties due to malnourishment. It's no joke. ACT NOW. x

Reply 1721

sophiemay20

Original post by TotoMimo

Once again Sophie, I refer you to my previous post about me having a heart attack in my twenties due to malnourishment. It's no joke. ACT NOW. x

Just read.. you had a heart attack at 26? That's upsetting and now I'm crying. As for me, there's no chance of me being strong enough to fight this.. despite telling myself constantly that I need help. I'm stuck and I can't get out

Reply 1722

.snowflake.

Original post by sophiemay20

Sophie, you CAN do this. If you've enough will power to restrict yourself to a teeny tiny number of calories, you have the will power to get over this.

Reply 1723

TotoMimo

I had what they call a "phantom heart attack" which is effectively a non-fatal acute angina attack. It's what old people get as a "Warning attack" before they get "real" heart attacks.

Sophie, you ARE strong enough to fight it. What is the alternative? That's how I saw it. Am I going to let a bunch of stupid self-enforced, life-ruining rules destroy my life and inevitably kill me? "You need to consume less than 1000 kcals today." Er... who's forcing me? Who's telling me? The ED is. And the ED is just a figment I dreamt up to fill a void in my life which has just gotten out of hand. Like a power-hungry leech it saps all the goodness from your life and leaves you a walking husk, both emotionally and physically.

You get up in the morning merely to appease the ED, the demon. Every thought is consumed by how to best please or suit it. "I'll go see my mates today". HAH. Nice try. You're going to see if you have time to do that after you've spent your afternoon weighing out broccoli so you can stay beneath a certain number for today that means nothing to anyone. That's all that comes of it; it's a pointless, stupid compulsion, an anomaly of your own brain that just wants to ruin every other part of you.

Head up, sweetheart. Really. Think of everything else in life. The smell of the air at the seaside. Going on a rollercoaster. Watching a film with your future husband and kids. Seeing a friend you haven't seen in ten years. Think about anything. Then imagine it doesn't exist and never ever will; the only thing that exists is an empty set of rules in a dark prison you made for yourself that you never tried to break out of.

If anything, THAT should be your drive. x

Reply 1724

Riku

Sophie May, Toto's not joking. I've had similar problems too, though thankfully never into the heart attack zone! I was nowhere near severely underweight when I began to experience chest pains of a night, but assumed it was from being "so unfit" and "covered in visceral fat" (essentially my EDs way of tricking me into further weight loss, which has now left me with chronic health anxiety). I had to have a cardiologist tell me that I'm in good shape now, but had I carried on I'd end up with a potentially fatal heart complication. Scary but true.
Right now you're probably safe as it's on the right hand side (the heart's on the left, of course) but all the same, I'm not a doctor and I wouldn't take any chances. The good thing is that as long as you're still able to think and breathe, you can do something about it. Tell someone, for your sake and all of ours. x

Reply 1725

Riku

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you Riku and Toto for the reply :smile:

I understand completely about reinforcing the notion that 'thin=beautiful' so I don't tell her she is 'beautiful and thin'. However, what is the best thing to say when she says 'I have eaten sooo much today' (when she hasn't) and 'I can't let [name] see me this week until I lose some weight' etc?

Umm that's a bit trickier for me, sorry : / I'll spoil it for the sake of some of the thread:

Spoiler

I'm no psychologist either, it's just a hunch x

Reply 1726

Cinamon

Great. Just my luck to get a housemate that constantly talks about how fat she is and how she needs to loose weight... AND them both telling me to stop them from eating junk food. One is talking about going to 300 calories a day. :frown:

I can't tell her to stop talking about weight and calories around me - it's a free country :frown:

Reply 1727

NotSoCool.Fly

thats sick 300 cals a day and one would drop dead on it literally

ive been eating normally relatively because i would not be able to function without the energy at uni tbh.

Reply 1728

Riku

Original post by Cinamon

I can't tell her to stop talking about weight and calories around me - it's a free country :frown:

Sounds more like the attention-seeking crash dieter really. Stopping from eating too much junk food is just common sense, they shouldn't need to add pressure to someone else by asking them not to. We all know most real ED sufferers don't exactly yell their endeavours to the world anyway :rolleyes:

Cinamon, of course you can ask her to stop or at least watch what she says around you. It's your flat too, and your studies are more important! Maybe use the old "I've got a friend who..." excuse to make out it's a touchy subject?

Reply 1729

Kebabbi

Original post by Cinamon

I can't tell her to stop talking about weight and calories around me - it's a free country :frown:

I don't know what the atmosphere is like but would you feel able to explain it to one of them? No need to make a big deal of it, keep it light, I'm sure they'll understand. I had to have this conversation with a friend's mum the other day, she was talking for about half an hour about all these diets she'd tried and how she needed to change her thought patterns (incidentally touching on several thought patterns which were too close for comfort!) and then said 'I suppose you've never had to worry about these things, you've never dieted have you?' I don't know why I was feeling so blase about it that day but I just went 'ah well I had an eating disorder for four years so...' I appreciate this could have made some people uncomfortable - hence why I made it sound like it was in the past lol - but I do know her quite well and I think because I was so open about it, I kind of just laughed it off, she was really nice?

If you don't feel comfortable saying that then I guess you could just try to keep changing the subject, at some point they'll get the picture? It must be hard though :frown:

Reply 1730

Anonymous #58

Original post by Riku

Umm that's a bit trickier for me, sorry : / I'll spoil it for the sake of some of the thread:

Spoiler

I'm no psychologist either, it's just a hunch x

Thank you for the help :smile:

Reply 1731

dior

I've had a terrible start to the week. :frown:

Sometimes I hate dealing with this pathetic, hopeless, worthless, disgusting thing that I am!

Reply 1732

NotSoCool.Fly

Original post by mijin

Actually, you'd be surprised. The human body is incredibly resilient. I'm not dead yet.

Hey, don't say that. You can do it. We all believe you can - it's just taking the first step that's the worst. Please go and see a doctor about those pains, just in case - even if it's nothing, better safe than sorry, right?

that woint last long love.

Reply 1733

TotoMimo

mijin, even in blinded retort that's unacceptable. Trust me, as a corpse, you'll be as thin as you like. Skin and bones, minus the skin.

Think about it, eh?

Reply 1734

Bethy727

Hello I have been reading this thread for ages and thought it was about time I signed up. I have been suffering from Bulimia for nearly a year now and recently it has been getting worse but I have found this thread so helpful. Thank you Toto.

Reply 1735

squiff93

Original post by mijin

I'd apologise but tbh I don't know what I'd be apologising for. I was just telling the truth.

it's going to sound hypocritical, but maybe the fact that your post was very triggering! I know sometimes it's easy to just say what you think, and i've done it myself :/

But yeah what you said was seriously ****ing triggering and there really is no need to be so arrogant about it

Reply 1736

mijin

Original post by squiff93

Well, I'm sorry. I've deleted the post.

I suppose I was too pissed off to think about what I was writing... and I didn't consider it triggering. But arrogant? I wasn't being arrogant, I was just being frank and telling the truth.

And now I'm going to get the **** off this thread before I offend anyone else. Seriously, I apologise for the trouble. It won't happen again.

Reply 1737

squiff93

Original post by mijin

Noo don't do that, notice i didn't neg you it's because i understand these things happen :rolleyes:

I didn't take it the way it was meant - trust me you aren't the only one in a bad mood, you deserve to be on this thread as much as anyone else! I just feel like ****e and to be honest pretty much everything i'd find triggering as im in 'that' kind of mood.

The only reason i said arrogant was because it was like sort of saying i'm good because i'm not fat... i dno seriously - i get that your not an arrogant person. My heads just in a ****ed up way and is twisting stuff and tbh if i get triggered it's my own fault shouldn't blame someone else!

I'm sorry. Don't feel bad! I just took my frustration out on you :frown:

Reply 1738

mijin

Original post by squiff93

Noo don't do that, notice i didn't neg you it's because i understand these things happen :rolleyes:

As for sounding arrogant, I don't believe I'm not fat - if I did, I wouldn't be here in the first place. If I was prancing around claiming how thin I was then I would understand the accusation of being arrogant... but I never implied that I thought I was better than anyone else. That's why I got defensive.

I'm going to keep off this thread anyway - I don't even have a diagnosis so I don't really belong here as it is. :s-smilie:

Thank you anyways, though.

Reply 1739

squiff93

Original post by mijin

Thank you anyways, though.

Of course you belong here... eating 300 cals a day = disordered eating, regardless of whether or not you have a diagnosis.

The thread acts as a good network of support - it's nice to feel you have people who can empathise with you to ask for support. Obviously not me as I just made you feel ****... I feel bad. Look it wasn't you, it was me being a pissy bitch!

Just don't take it to heart what i said... Please