Original post by NepeneI've read it. It's got a lot of inaccuracies. She talks of all the things she dislikes about men and assumes nice guys do all of it, even when it's a lot more common among bad boys.
"Nice Guys exude insecurity -- a big red target for the predators of the world. There are women out there who are "users" -- just looking for a sucker to take advantage of. Users home-in on "Nice Guys", stroke their egos, take them for a ride, add a notch to their belts, and move on. It's no wonder so many Nice Guys complain about women being horrible, when the so often the kind of woman that gets attracted to them is the lowest form of life... "
The women who are looking for a sucker to take advantage of normally like men who can fill them with passion. They normally go for bad boys. And try to manipulate them into giving them what they want. The article's idea- that it's hard to tell whether a nice guy is actually in love- it's absurd. Women are very skilled emotionally, and can read men. Nice guys are open with their emotions. Very open, and honest. They are not dysfunctional with love.
holy **** i'm still by large a nice guy. oh *******s i'm doomed.
"They are so desperate to please that they put aside their own needs, and place the object of their desire on a pedestal. Instead of appreciating her, they worship her. We are only human, and pedestals are narrow, confining places to be -- not to mention the fact that we tend to fall off of them."
"They cling to her, and want to be "one" with her for fear that if she is out of sight, she may disappear or become attracted to someone else. A Nice Guy often has trouble with emotional intimacy, because he believes that if she learns about the REAL person inside, she will no longer love him. "
Not especially. Bad boys are very often highly controlling, willing to use violence if she associates with other men, and prefer sexual intimacy to emotional intimacy. Nice guys are much better at emotional intimacy, in my experience. And less controlling- they actually respect the woman and care about her needs. They are willing to compromise and let her do as she wishes
"Nice Guys rarely speak up when something bothers them, and rarely state clearly what it is they want, need and expect. They fear that any kind of conflict might spell the end of the relationship. Instead of comprimising and negotiating, they repeatedly "give in". When she doesn't appreciate their sacrifice, they will complain that, "Everything I did, I did for her.", as if this somehow elevates them to the status of martyrs. A woman doesn't want a martyr. She wants an equal, caring, adult partner. "
This touches on the issue, but a woman doesn't want an equal, caring adult partner. She wants someone who makes her feel good. For a lot of women, especially the sort who pursue bad boys, that means a superior, arrogant one who takes what he wants and doesn't compromise or negotiate. The nice guy's problematic behaviour here- the issue with it is that she dislikes it, not that he's not being caring enough. They often negotiate and compromise.
"Nice Guys think that they will never meet anyone as special as she is. They use their adoration as a foundation for claiming that "no one will ever love her as much as I do." Instead of being a profound statement of their devotion, this is a subtle, but nasty insult. It is akin to saying to her: "You are a difficult person, and only *I* can ever truly love you, so be thankful I'm here." "
That is more a statement of the women's insecurities. The nice guy is very aware that lots of other people are attracted to his woman and can fall in love, as the woman repeatedly shows awareness of elsewhere in the article
"The nice guy -needs- to believe that he is the best person for the object of his desires, because otherwise his insecurities will overrun him with jealousies and fear. The truth of the matter is that there are many people out there who can be a good match for her. We rarely stop loving people we truly care about. Even if we no longer continue the relationship, the feelings will continue... But love isn't mutually exclusive. We can (and do) love many people in our lives, and romantic love is really no different. Though he may love her immensely, there will likely be other people who have loved her just as much in her past, and will love her just as much in the future. The irony of it all is: "Who would want to go out with someone who was inherintly unlovable anyways?" "
That's a much, much bigger problem for *******s. They do not like competition from other men. Nice guys tend to accept women's flaws, and compromise, and negotiate. The woman is projecting the worst traits of men on nice guys.
"Another mistake Nice Guys make is to go after "hard luck" cases. They deliberately pick women with neuroses, problems, and personality disorders, because Nice Guys are "helpers". A Nice Guy thinks that by "helping" this woman, it will make him a better, more lovable person. He thinks it will give him a sense of accomplishment, and that she will appreciate and love him more, for all his efforts and sacrifice. He is usually disappointed by the results. "
Universal among guys. Crazy girls are the bad boys of the female world. The way they go up and down is exciting to most guys.