Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Starting to freak out over this bowl of pasta carbonara for lunch. Quite long, perhaps triggering but would love some help...
Sooo confused and scared a bit from what should have been a really enjoyable meal! I've eaten it (granted it took like quarter of an hour to stop staring at the plate like I'd just downed a tub of lard,) and while it's perhaps not the healthiest thing in the world I don't want to hurt Mum's feelings when she's trying so hard to cater to my ever-changing needs and phobias : / thoughts?
Spoiler
Sooo confused and scared a bit from what should have been a really enjoyable meal! I've eaten it (granted it took like quarter of an hour to stop staring at the plate like I'd just downed a tub of lard,) and while it's perhaps not the healthiest thing in the world I don't want to hurt Mum's feelings when she's trying so hard to cater to my ever-changing needs and phobias : / thoughts?
Original post by Riku
thoughts?
Ahoy thar Riku!
Firstly let me shake you warmly by the hand (internet-stylee of course) for confronting such a big fear. A bowl of pasta is as normal as norman to most people but for a lot of ED sufferers (I'd be willing to be almost all ED sufferers actually) it's a massively scary premise, so to have done what you did is seriously amazing. Please be proud of it
Do you think that perhaps you're focusing on the cheese, fat, potential health consequences etc, etc, as a means of deferring some of the panic and anxiety that inevitably happens when you challenge your ED? It seems you've got your head raging in a loop when possibly, if you take a step back for a moment, you might realise that you're obsessing over something that was
fabricated/excaberated by the ED to derail you. These are just my musings though, obviously I'm not in your head and I don't have mystical powers (..yet), so feel free to tell me off if I'm wrong.
Maybe you're getting so anxious because you weren't quite ready for such a challenge. I'm all for pushing yourself as hard as you can (in my experience the baby-steps approach ends up in my version of the stationary approach, concluding in the backwards-into-ED-silliness approach), but maybe you could start off by having just a bit of cheese a week until you get more used to it and more comfortable with the idea of eating it. Sometimes when we're desperate for recovery, for a LIFE, we throw ourselves head-on at our biggest fears in the hope that enough gusto and forcing will get us to our goal quicker. It usually has the opposite effect though! Keep challenging yourself, and keep in mind the bigger picture, but give yourself a break every now and then too. Recovery isn't a magical ride along a rainbow, it's hellfire! But you'll get there, oh yes indeed you will.
While I'm rambling, I have an extra piece of "advice" (you will understand the quotation marks when you read how lame it is) for you all. After eating something your ED wasn't entirely happy about, if you start freaking out/getting in a tiz/crying and shaking in the corner etc, try this: stand up immediately and DO A SHIMMY. Or a jig if you'd prefer....a bop, even. I SWEAR it helps (honest, I'm not just saying this as a feeble attempt at humour, it WORKS I tell you!), it clears the head, gets some endorphins going, and suddenly you find yourself wondering what all the fuss was about. I'm shoulder-shimmying right now actually. It feels fantastic.
P.S. I didn't quite make my goal of 5 lb increase before uni restarted, but I'm working on getting more protein in my diet (musclesss) and I WILL get there!
I have gained like 3 kilos in the past 4 days 
I did have big binges but I though I'd got rid of most... Oh dear. I must try and be more careful.
(But then, weight ain't everything, right?
)
I did have big binges but I though I'd got rid of most... Oh dear. I must try and be more careful.(But then, weight ain't everything, right?
)Original post by cloppy
Ahoy thar Riku!
Firstly let me shake you warmly by the hand (internet-stylee of course) for confronting such a big fear. A bowl of pasta is as normal as norman to most people but for a lot of ED sufferers (I'd be willing to be almost all ED sufferers actually) it's a massively scary premise, so to have done what you did is seriously amazing. Please be proud of it
Do you think that perhaps you're focusing on the cheese, fat, potential health consequences etc, etc, as a means of deferring some of the panic and anxiety that inevitably happens when you challenge your ED? It seems you've got your head raging in a loop when possibly, if you take a step back for a moment, you might realise that you're obsessing over something that was
fabricated/excaberated by the ED to derail you. These are just my musings though, obviously I'm not in your head and I don't have mystical powers (..yet), so feel free to tell me off if I'm wrong.
Maybe you're getting so anxious because you weren't quite ready for such a challenge. I'm all for pushing yourself as hard as you can (in my experience the baby-steps approach ends up in my version of the stationary approach, concluding in the backwards-into-ED-silliness approach), but maybe you could start off by having just a bit of cheese a week until you get more used to it and more comfortable with the idea of eating it. Sometimes when we're desperate for recovery, for a LIFE, we throw ourselves head-on at our biggest fears in the hope that enough gusto and forcing will get us to our goal quicker. It usually has the opposite effect though! Keep challenging yourself, and keep in mind the bigger picture, but give yourself a break every now and then too. Recovery isn't a magical ride along a rainbow, it's hellfire! But you'll get there, oh yes indeed you will.
While I'm rambling, I have an extra piece of "advice" (you will understand the quotation marks when you read how lame it is) for you all. After eating something your ED wasn't entirely happy about, if you start freaking out/getting in a tiz/crying and shaking in the corner etc, try this: stand up immediately and DO A SHIMMY. Or a jig if you'd prefer....a bop, even. I SWEAR it helps (honest, I'm not just saying this as a feeble attempt at humour, it WORKS I tell you!), it clears the head, gets some endorphins going, and suddenly you find yourself wondering what all the fuss was about. I'm shoulder-shimmying right now actually. It feels fantastic.
P.S. I didn't quite make my goal of 5 lb increase before uni restarted, but I'm working on getting more protein in my diet (musclesss) and I WILL get there!
Firstly let me shake you warmly by the hand (internet-stylee of course) for confronting such a big fear. A bowl of pasta is as normal as norman to most people but for a lot of ED sufferers (I'd be willing to be almost all ED sufferers actually) it's a massively scary premise, so to have done what you did is seriously amazing. Please be proud of it
Do you think that perhaps you're focusing on the cheese, fat, potential health consequences etc, etc, as a means of deferring some of the panic and anxiety that inevitably happens when you challenge your ED? It seems you've got your head raging in a loop when possibly, if you take a step back for a moment, you might realise that you're obsessing over something that was
fabricated/excaberated by the ED to derail you. These are just my musings though, obviously I'm not in your head and I don't have mystical powers (..yet), so feel free to tell me off if I'm wrong.
Maybe you're getting so anxious because you weren't quite ready for such a challenge. I'm all for pushing yourself as hard as you can (in my experience the baby-steps approach ends up in my version of the stationary approach, concluding in the backwards-into-ED-silliness approach), but maybe you could start off by having just a bit of cheese a week until you get more used to it and more comfortable with the idea of eating it. Sometimes when we're desperate for recovery, for a LIFE, we throw ourselves head-on at our biggest fears in the hope that enough gusto and forcing will get us to our goal quicker. It usually has the opposite effect though! Keep challenging yourself, and keep in mind the bigger picture, but give yourself a break every now and then too. Recovery isn't a magical ride along a rainbow, it's hellfire! But you'll get there, oh yes indeed you will.
While I'm rambling, I have an extra piece of "advice" (you will understand the quotation marks when you read how lame it is) for you all. After eating something your ED wasn't entirely happy about, if you start freaking out/getting in a tiz/crying and shaking in the corner etc, try this: stand up immediately and DO A SHIMMY. Or a jig if you'd prefer....a bop, even. I SWEAR it helps (honest, I'm not just saying this as a feeble attempt at humour, it WORKS I tell you!), it clears the head, gets some endorphins going, and suddenly you find yourself wondering what all the fuss was about. I'm shoulder-shimmying right now actually. It feels fantastic.
P.S. I didn't quite make my goal of 5 lb increase before uni restarted, but I'm working on getting more protein in my diet (musclesss) and I WILL get there!
Ahoy, fellow shipmate on HMS Recovery : P well you're very right and slightly wrong at the same time, Cloppy-though that "yet" is a little alarming :')
It's not actually my first bowl of pasta, I have been eating various big "filling" dishes like that for a while now. I'm caught in the middle of two mindsets really, one which is full-blown AN and the other's what's been referred to in the media as orthorexia. It's the easiest way I can describe it tbh, but essentially in trying to battle the ED, I seem to have created entirely new disordered eating thoughts and behaviours revolving round undoing the damage I did to myself last year by being as "healthy and fit" as humanly possible to keep me ticking over. Sounds like a recipe for success, you might say..,.
(next bit could be extremely triggering for some)
Spoiler
Thankfully I'm slightly past that stage of extremism and back to a healthy BMI too, but old habits die hard even with the dietician's insight. Fruit's the closest thing to safety I get, which is pretty poor but hey-ho. Same for exercise-even after an all clear on the stress yesy I'm also trying to get back in the gym but it's ridiculously difficult, I'm left with residual anxiety and panic attacks around anything taxing my heart (keep thinking I "cant breathe" "going to have a heart attack", for example) while also fighting the urge to overexercise (which I'm not very good at fighting still really. Weight gain's no longer imperative therefore seems dangerous
)I made a rule to eat whatever I was given without changing it to make it "better" sometime back too, so I do fake it at those big family reunion roast dinners sometimes for the sake of the likes of my grandparents when my old self just spills out and gorges on the luxury of it all, but like all of us, it's an ongoing and seemingly neverending struggle, and often I do just end up sitting here, doing nothing and getting afraid to climb stairs, therefore to eat dinner.
Sorry that I've repeated my recent life story for your benefit :')
So as you might deduce from all of that (though I wouldn't blame you if you didn't, don't really understand it myself half the time) the pasta isn't really the issue now, it's more the cheese than anything. Moi et le fromage share a kind of fatal romance for me and always have, sadly. In fact back in the netherworld of reality some years back, my week of working out would've come crashing down due to the temptation of a huge bowl of cheesy pasta or the like. It's only actually been since this cheesecake incident that it's meant anything bad about me as a person to eat cheese or pastry though, and that's reallly hard to shrug off when these things are supposedly not great for you anyway. Personally I reckon I've had these thoughts for years, but they've been kept at bay by the ability to pump it. Without that-why it's become so hard to exercise, I have no idea-all hell's broken loose.
My rant over. I'm not expecting a clear-cut answer to this mind-numing chaos that's my head and I know this is more anxiety disorder territory than ED anyway, but thanks for the suggestion. And don't worry, you'll get there too.
Might go shimmy off this jacket potato now!
Food shopping is really hard 
Original post by Cinamon
Food shopping is really hard
How did you get on?Original post by Riku How did you get on?
How did you get on?soup, veg and apples =/
Original post by Cinamon
soup, veg and apples =/
Well it's a good start, you've come back with something after all! That's better than I'd be able to do sometimes. Can quite easily do a vegetable soup if you wanted?
Would other fruit/bread/milk all be off limits? I personally find bananas, pineapple and any forest fruit is just heaven
Original post by Riku
Well it's a good start, you've come back with something after all! That's better than I'd be able to do sometimes. Can quite easily do a vegetable soup if you wanted?
Would other fruit/bread/milk all be off limits? I personally find bananas, pineapple and any forest fruit is just heaven
Would other fruit/bread/milk all be off limits? I personally find bananas, pineapple and any forest fruit is just heaven
I have brown bread in the freezer but it's a bit scary atm
.... I love pineapples though so next time those. Original post by Cinamon
I have brown bread in the freezer but it's a bit scary atm .... I love pineapples though so next time those.
.... I love pineapples though so next time those. That's okay, brown bread's great for you and has loads of fibre it won't do any harm, and you only have to have a slice or two if you want, maybe with your soup?
Or perhaps save it and have a pineapple sandwich
Original post by Riku
That's okay, brown bread's great for you and has loads of fibre it won't do any harm, and you only have to have a slice or two if you want, maybe with your soup?
Or perhaps save it and have a pineapple sandwich
Or perhaps save it and have a pineapple sandwich
I actually like the sound of pineapple on toast is that weird?
Original post by Cinamon
I actually like the sound of pineapple on toast is that weird?
Weird is relative, to the boring majority perhaps it is, to me that sounds like a new dessert plan
Guys I think I have an Internet addiction too and it's really hampering recovery/return to fitness, not to mention getting out there with people at uni 0_0
I mean it predated the panic attacks/ED behaviours but was happening at the same time as my mild depression/overly healthy lifestyle as compensation, but I think it's still running away from my anxiety and feelings. In any case it's making me stupidly tired and means I'm probably not repairing fully after exercise anyway, so it's gotta go.
Helppp
I mean it predated the panic attacks/ED behaviours but was happening at the same time as my mild depression/overly healthy lifestyle as compensation, but I think it's still running away from my anxiety and feelings. In any case it's making me stupidly tired and means I'm probably not repairing fully after exercise anyway, so it's gotta go.
Helppp
Original post by cloppy
Ahoy thar Riku!
Firstly let me shake you warmly by the hand (internet-stylee of course) for confronting such a big fear. A bowl of pasta is as normal as norman to most people but for a lot of ED sufferers (I'd be willing to be almost all ED sufferers actually) it's a massively scary premise, so to have done what you did is seriously amazing. Please be proud of it
Do you think that perhaps you're focusing on the cheese, fat, potential health consequences etc, etc, as a means of deferring some of the panic and anxiety that inevitably happens when you challenge your ED? It seems you've got your head raging in a loop when possibly, if you take a step back for a moment, you might realise that you're obsessing over something that was
fabricated/excaberated by the ED to derail you. These are just my musings though, obviously I'm not in your head and I don't have mystical powers (..yet), so feel free to tell me off if I'm wrong.
Maybe you're getting so anxious because you weren't quite ready for such a challenge. I'm all for pushing yourself as hard as you can (in my experience the baby-steps approach ends up in my version of the stationary approach, concluding in the backwards-into-ED-silliness approach), but maybe you could start off by having just a bit of cheese a week until you get more used to it and more comfortable with the idea of eating it. Sometimes when we're desperate for recovery, for a LIFE, we throw ourselves head-on at our biggest fears in the hope that enough gusto and forcing will get us to our goal quicker. It usually has the opposite effect though! Keep challenging yourself, and keep in mind the bigger picture, but give yourself a break every now and then too. Recovery isn't a magical ride along a rainbow, it's hellfire! But you'll get there, oh yes indeed you will.
While I'm rambling, I have an extra piece of "advice" (you will understand the quotation marks when you read how lame it is) for you all. After eating something your ED wasn't entirely happy about, if you start freaking out/getting in a tiz/crying and shaking in the corner etc, try this: stand up immediately and DO A SHIMMY. Or a jig if you'd prefer....a bop, even. I SWEAR it helps (honest, I'm not just saying this as a feeble attempt at humour, it WORKS I tell you!), it clears the head, gets some endorphins going, and suddenly you find yourself wondering what all the fuss was about. I'm shoulder-shimmying right now actually. It feels fantastic.
P.S. I didn't quite make my goal of 5 lb increase before uni restarted, but I'm working on getting more protein in my diet (musclesss) and I WILL get there!
Firstly let me shake you warmly by the hand (internet-stylee of course) for confronting such a big fear. A bowl of pasta is as normal as norman to most people but for a lot of ED sufferers (I'd be willing to be almost all ED sufferers actually) it's a massively scary premise, so to have done what you did is seriously amazing. Please be proud of it
Do you think that perhaps you're focusing on the cheese, fat, potential health consequences etc, etc, as a means of deferring some of the panic and anxiety that inevitably happens when you challenge your ED? It seems you've got your head raging in a loop when possibly, if you take a step back for a moment, you might realise that you're obsessing over something that was
fabricated/excaberated by the ED to derail you. These are just my musings though, obviously I'm not in your head and I don't have mystical powers (..yet), so feel free to tell me off if I'm wrong.
Maybe you're getting so anxious because you weren't quite ready for such a challenge. I'm all for pushing yourself as hard as you can (in my experience the baby-steps approach ends up in my version of the stationary approach, concluding in the backwards-into-ED-silliness approach), but maybe you could start off by having just a bit of cheese a week until you get more used to it and more comfortable with the idea of eating it. Sometimes when we're desperate for recovery, for a LIFE, we throw ourselves head-on at our biggest fears in the hope that enough gusto and forcing will get us to our goal quicker. It usually has the opposite effect though! Keep challenging yourself, and keep in mind the bigger picture, but give yourself a break every now and then too. Recovery isn't a magical ride along a rainbow, it's hellfire! But you'll get there, oh yes indeed you will.
While I'm rambling, I have an extra piece of "advice" (you will understand the quotation marks when you read how lame it is) for you all. After eating something your ED wasn't entirely happy about, if you start freaking out/getting in a tiz/crying and shaking in the corner etc, try this: stand up immediately and DO A SHIMMY. Or a jig if you'd prefer....a bop, even. I SWEAR it helps (honest, I'm not just saying this as a feeble attempt at humour, it WORKS I tell you!), it clears the head, gets some endorphins going, and suddenly you find yourself wondering what all the fuss was about. I'm shoulder-shimmying right now actually. It feels fantastic.
P.S. I didn't quite make my goal of 5 lb increase before uni restarted, but I'm working on getting more protein in my diet (musclesss) and I WILL get there!
I have come to the conclusion that I actually love you because the bit in bold has made me laugh so hard! It sounds kind of like the advice I heard from someone to sing the ED thoughts to the tune of a nursery rhyme. It's so silly that it sort of takes away the power of your thoughts. I tried it once and did burst out laughing, though it kind of turned into hysteria which I don't think was the aim.
I swear it's actually some form of therapy I don't know the name of... I just got back from Glee club and it was awesome. And my day has actually been made by the discovery that I'm a soprano. I can play Joanna in Sweeney Todd! And Cinderella in Into the Woods! And not just imagine that I can do it! And I totally need to start a musical theatre society because frankly, it's kind of obscene that there isn't one already!
Perfect distraction. Except now I'm feeling mega stressed out because I have a folio of texts that I need to read for my course (not right now) but it's making me feel guilty for wanting to finish the book I started. 
And I desperately need some sleep. And I've had too many doctors appointments recently and I have to have an ECG and a blood test for my referral to be sorted out and ECGs are the most awkward thing ever. I mean, really awkward. And there isn't even anything wrong with me apart from my head. And tomorrow is a ridiculously busy day and I really wanted to go to the jobs and volunteering fair and I won't have time because I have to jet home before my second lecture for a delivery and I really really want a job because I'm spending too much money. If I do a million things then I won't have time to think about my rubbishy mind(set).
I hope everyone's ok.
Riku. Think straight for a moment. You're freaking out over a dinner most normal folks wouldn't bat an eyelid at! Pasta and other carbs are usually danger foods for us, but in reality they won't cause you to implode or burst into flames my man.
Be proud of taking that step.
All of us use our disorders as a barrier from SOME kind of responsibility, and the chances are we continue to perpetuate our disorders in order to postpone an inevitable life choice. For me, getting better terrifies me as it means I will have to return to a normal adult life... hence a lot of my posts are very retrospective and juvenile. Perhaps your internet introversion is a similar thing.
Be proud of taking that step.
All of us use our disorders as a barrier from SOME kind of responsibility, and the chances are we continue to perpetuate our disorders in order to postpone an inevitable life choice. For me, getting better terrifies me as it means I will have to return to a normal adult life... hence a lot of my posts are very retrospective and juvenile. Perhaps your internet introversion is a similar thing.
Original post by Riku
Guys I think I have an Internet addiction too and it's really hampering recovery/return to fitness, not to mention getting out there with people at uni 0_0
I mean it predated the panic attacks/ED behaviours but was happening at the same time as my mild depression/overly healthy lifestyle as compensation, but I think it's still running away from my anxiety and feelings. In any case it's making me stupidly tired and means I'm probably not repairing fully after exercise anyway, so it's gotta go.
Helppp
I mean it predated the panic attacks/ED behaviours but was happening at the same time as my mild depression/overly healthy lifestyle as compensation, but I think it's still running away from my anxiety and feelings. In any case it's making me stupidly tired and means I'm probably not repairing fully after exercise anyway, so it's gotta go.
Helppp
How funny Riku. I literally just saw this post on Something Fishy.
http://fishyvb.something-fishy.org/showthread.php?t=53287
I'm starting to become aware just how severely I delineate between food I 'like' and food I 'don't'. Just watching a simple cooking programme, as I am apt to do, and not one dish would I eat. They all had things in that, for one reason or another, I don't like. Although I'm not entirely sure what proportions of my likes/dislikes and general pickiness is to do with the ED or just the fact I don't like the taste of some things.
Now I'm trying to work out what motivated my decision to become a vegetarian 4 years ago. My standard answer is that I don't like the way meat tastes. I'm starting to doubt that is 100% true.
I know some level of fussiness is to be expected from an ED, but does anyone else have these arbitrary little rulings that are pretty much completely made up? Like, I'll munch on a lemon (fresh lemon, yum) but I hate anything lemon-flavoured, even lemonade.
Not entirely sure what this post is about. It just kinda hit me, that's all.
God, it's ridiculous how pervasive this thing is.
Now I'm trying to work out what motivated my decision to become a vegetarian 4 years ago. My standard answer is that I don't like the way meat tastes. I'm starting to doubt that is 100% true.
I know some level of fussiness is to be expected from an ED, but does anyone else have these arbitrary little rulings that are pretty much completely made up? Like, I'll munch on a lemon (fresh lemon, yum) but I hate anything lemon-flavoured, even lemonade.
Not entirely sure what this post is about. It just kinda hit me, that's all.
God, it's ridiculous how pervasive this thing is.
Merjambles, the ED is an illogical thing to begin with. That's one of the most frustrating aspects of it. It's an arbitrary set of rules a flawed section of your mind has set for you, and you are now a slave to.
Much like a collar without a leash, you are bound to nothing but feel owned by it nonetheless.
In an anorexic mindset I have conditioned myself to "hate" cheese. I "hate" butter. I "hate" creamy carbonaras. But I don't. I know I don't, but the ED has convinced me to such a degree that this phantom hatred exhibits itself as reality (I genuinely DO gag whilst eating thick melted cheese now). Oddly enough I enjoy the taste but the ED tells me otherwise, that I hate it, that it's disgusting. And as such, my mind is tainted and now I physically exhibit the symptoms of someone who might've actually GENUINELY hated it...
ED is a powerful force, but only to the respective slave to it. In reality, it is a figment of our imagination. Unfortunately, it is one that has consumed each and every one of us.
Much like a collar without a leash, you are bound to nothing but feel owned by it nonetheless.
In an anorexic mindset I have conditioned myself to "hate" cheese. I "hate" butter. I "hate" creamy carbonaras. But I don't. I know I don't, but the ED has convinced me to such a degree that this phantom hatred exhibits itself as reality (I genuinely DO gag whilst eating thick melted cheese now). Oddly enough I enjoy the taste but the ED tells me otherwise, that I hate it, that it's disgusting. And as such, my mind is tainted and now I physically exhibit the symptoms of someone who might've actually GENUINELY hated it...
ED is a powerful force, but only to the respective slave to it. In reality, it is a figment of our imagination. Unfortunately, it is one that has consumed each and every one of us.
I cant carry on with this anymore....I cant, I dont have the energy the strength or the will power.
Original post by TotoMimo
Riku. Think straight for a moment. You're freaking out over a dinner most normal folks wouldn't bat an eyelid at! Pasta and other carbs are usually danger foods for us, but in reality they won't cause you to implode or burst into flames my man.
Be proud of taking that step.
All of us use our disorders as a barrier from SOME kind of responsibility, and the chances are we continue to perpetuate our disorders in order to postpone an inevitable life choice. For me, getting better terrifies me as it means I will have to return to a normal adult life... hence a lot of my posts are very retrospective and juvenile. Perhaps your internet introversion is a similar thing.
Be proud of taking that step.
All of us use our disorders as a barrier from SOME kind of responsibility, and the chances are we continue to perpetuate our disorders in order to postpone an inevitable life choice. For me, getting better terrifies me as it means I will have to return to a normal adult life... hence a lot of my posts are very retrospective and juvenile. Perhaps your internet introversion is a similar thing.
Cheers Toto. As I mentioned to Cloppy, it's not the pasta as much as the cheese...but sometimes it is the pasta too. And sometimes the veg or meat or milk or fruit or fish or eggs or whatever. Which more or less rams your point home for Merjambes that an ED is entirely arbitary, and if it doesn't make sense we have the power to dismiss it. For that reason I'm trying my utmost to dissociate food with any sort of negative connotation, but even yesterday-a slice of malt loaf. Mum suggests putting a scraping of butter on because it'll be "a bit dry". I can't justify having them dry since heartburn sends me into full-blown panic anyway, so catch-22. Made me feel queasy all night and check my pulse like it'd be too much for the heart to handle. This from a kid who used to go for third portions of Christmas dinner and not bat an eyelid at the idea of cheese and egg toast (which now sounds like an instant heart attack) but was happy and carefree! Why, just why?
I'm getting into a pattern of moaning again. Fact is, maybe we are running away from responsibility. I could be studying, I could be socialising, but instead I'm sitting and devising a new way to put the pounds on while keeping the pounds off or researching a new way I might die rather than living. And you're right too, this is probably about being afraid to grow up for many of us. Certainly is for me-it means taking risks, facing failure, rejection and disappointment. But you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs, eh? (Maybe not the most appropriate metaphor...)
So here's the plan today-I'm seeing my aunts with my dad for dinner, as ones of cultured cuisine no doubt there's going to be some sort of scary, rich dish lurking around. I can either spend the whole day in fear of my cholesterol, or go out, go there later and have a damn good time and catch-up with my relatives. It's a no-brainer, really.
Original post by Anonymous
I cant carry on with this anymore....I cant, I dont have the energy the strength or the will power.
You do. We all do. See how many times one of us has said this throughout the last few months, how many people have thought they hit rock bottom in the world and have come through stronger and wiser people at the end of it, don't deny that the human mind is an indomitable force to be reckoned with. Consider all the energy that you use to pacify the ED. That takes willpower, mate. Now consider what would happen if you redirected all that energy against the ED.
Sometimes it's when we think all hope is gone that the truth comes to light and the tables turn in our favour. Why not give it a hand and turn them yourself? We'll be with you all the way.
Original post by diamonddust
How funny Riku. I literally just saw this post on Something Fishy.
http://fishyvb.something-fishy.org/showthread.php?t=53287
http://fishyvb.something-fishy.org/showthread.php?t=53287
Thanks for the link, Diamond. Hope you're alright too. That's amazing about being a potential Joanna, you should totally go for the MT Society. I was stuck with generic baritone for Sweeney
And don't beat yourself up about reading for recreation rather than study, the whole process is supposed to be enjoyable after all! I'll tell you The Sandman is not on my uni reading list 
Been saying too much again. Going to lurk for a while to keep on top of studies. TTFN!
(edited 12 years ago)
