Guys I have make a massive decision tonight:
To put it briefly, at the moment I am working 55 hours a week (2 jobs)..I get up at 6am and I don't get home until 7pm everyday except Sundays. I am an entire module behind in my distant learning Chemistry than the college, I also am way behind on my practicals due to my operations and starting a new job ect..
I am also trying to pretty much retake Biology and AS Chemistry and I just can't cope mentally or physically with the work load at the moment (being type 1 diabetic and severely anemic), I am getting depressed, don't see my friends any more, my relationship is suffering and I am becoming a person I really don't want to be (it doesn't help that I REALLY dislike both my jobs!) I am also dealing with rather difficult family issues at the moment relating to the health of my mum..
I can't do the following:
1) Work under 45 hours per week as I have to financially look after myself and help my mum as she is off work at the moment
2) I cannot carry on like this. I am 19 years old and I am very, very unhappy with my life... I think I have pushed myself too far this year (doesn't help that I am royally ****e at Chemistry)
Seeing as even with A2 Chemistry, this year I would only be able to apply to Soton and Nottingham and in all honesty as difficult as it is to admit, I am not in the right state to tackle such a demanding career at the moment. I think my health has a significant affect on my life i.e. complete lack of energy, constant high and low sugar levels due to stress and very suppressed immune system..
BTW these are not excuses! If any of you guys knew me in person and how hard I have fought to get to where I am now and for Medicine you would understand how difficult this decision was to make and I genuinely feel like a failure..
Because of these reasons I have put a hold on Medicine. I am applying to study Nursing this year where my body is more likely to cope with the course. I have an interest in Nursing also and I am rather happy that I have finally made a decision that has probably saved me from breaking down this year..
I have my life ahead of me and who knows, maybe in the future I will be physically ready for Medicine and return back to it, but for the moment, my life is leading me towards a new (less stressful) path..
I am going to keep an eye on this thread throughout the application process and make sure you guys are all ok and see who gets in ect.. I wish all of you all the luck in the world with Medicine and our paths may meet again in the future (plus I'm applying to do Nursing at Southampton so maybe sooner rather than later
)
For all of those who don't understand how I have "given up" like this - I have not given up, I have just found another path to take and as I said before, if you knew me personally you would understand..