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First relationship - need help

Liked a girl I know for a 2 months now. I'm 20 and a virgin.

During the start of freshers we fooled around a lot and didn't have sex on two occassions because I had no condom. A short while later she says we should be friends. I then tried my best to get over her but it was very hard. Suddenly one night at a club we just started kissing each other again. And then after a talk she said she didn't mean what she sai dand that we should give things a go . i.e not see other people (but didnt say we were bf/gf).

Now that she said that there is a potential relationship developing I now feel that I'm acting differently towards her and just dont want to **** up.

I went out on Monday for my schools mates bday and text her at the club saying it was boring and wished she was here (me drunk) she sent a text backing saying that I should come back now and she'd leave her room door open. I came back home and entered her room, kissed her for ages and then slept in her bed. When I think back I dunno if she wanted more or what? I've lost a lot of the freshers confidence around her especially as she rejected me before and so I act awkwardly.

For example I was chilling with her last night then left her room. Then I went back in to give her a hug then as I left I said, what? No goodnight kiss. She laughed akwardly but said she didn't know what to say. I know I should have gone in for the kiss when I hugged her but as I said this is my first ever potential relationship and so I'm really inexperience.

Tomorrow is the bday of our mutual friend and I want to drink but not too much incase she thinks we should have sex. I'm so confused and awkward dammit ;_;
Reply 1
Avatar for Zamolxes
Zamolxes
10
Original post by Anonymous
Liked a girl I know for a 2 months now. I'm 20 and a virgin.

During the start of freshers we fooled around a lot and didn't have sex on two occassions because I had no condom. A short while later she says we should be friends. I then tried my best to get over her but it was very hard. Suddenly one night at a club we just started kissing each other again. And then after a talk she said she didn't mean what she sai dand that we should give things a go . i.e not see other people (but didnt say we were bf/gf).

Now that she said that there is a potential relationship developing I now feel that I'm acting differently towards her and just dont want to **** up.

I went out on Monday for my schools mates bday and text her at the club saying it was boring and wished she was here (me drunk) she sent a text backing saying that I should come back now and she'd leave her room door open. I came back home and entered her room, kissed her for ages and then slept in her bed. When I think back I dunno if she wanted more or what? I've lost a lot of the freshers confidence around her especially as she rejected me before and so I act awkwardly.

For example I was chilling with her last night then left her room. Then I went back in to give her a hug then as I left I said, what? No goodnight kiss. She laughed akwardly but said she didn't know what to say. I know I should have gone in for the kiss when I hugged her but as I said this is my first ever potential relationship and so I'm really inexperience.

Tomorrow is the bday of our mutual friend and I want to drink but not too much incase she thinks we should have sex. I'm so confused and awkward dammit ;_;


Fresher's confidence? Is that a thing now?

Anyway you're showing her you're too much into her and she's already losing interest because of it. I suggest you play it cool and make her work for some of the attention/time with you, she'll appreciate it and you more.
Reply 2
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
hmmmmmmm ok so you think I should try and be distant?
Reply 3
Avatar for emdo
emdo
12
Original post by Anonymous
hmmmmmmm ok so you think I should try and be distant?


I wouldn't - but I don't know if some girls like that. If a guy showed interest and then did that distant thing - I'd be quite ticked off.

Seriously OP, I know it's easier said than done but just relax and try to be yourself. You've only known her for two months, why not just get to know her better? Do you guys do anything together (other than kissing), doing stuff like hanging out can help you relax around her.

Also if you're not ready for sex, you're not ready for sex. No point in pushing yourself! :smile:
Reply 4
Avatar for Zamolxes
Zamolxes
10
Original post by Anonymous
hmmmmmmm ok so you think I should try and be distant?


No, you're thinking in extremes. You shouldn't be all over her, but you shouldn't be distant because she would be like "wtf"?

Just be cool man, that's all I'm saying. Do not be needy, do not ask her if she likes you, do not say crappy stuff like "what no kiss", do not talk about "us", do not make a big deal out of sex, do not plan your future with her, do not bail on your mates to spend time with her(if you already made plans with your mates I'm saying, we don't want her thinking that when she says jump you respond How high?) . Enjoy your time with her, be cool, and DO things with other people. If you don't have a life apart from her she will get tired of you quickly.
(edited 12 years ago)

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