Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
Scroll to see replies
Original post by .snowflake.
E, this isnt supposed to happen. We're not supposed to have two german studying peoples who resort to starving when **** goes down, living in the German learners soc. thread. Not eating will make you feel absolutely knackered, a friend of mine does that, then wonders why she doesnt sleep very much, is always tired and is off school so often.
Is it wrong that I find it hysterical that the deputy head of 6th form thinks another friend is anorexic, just because shes really slim. The lass in question is 5 foot nowt, size 3 feet, she never was going to be huge, tbqh.
Is it wrong that I find it hysterical that the deputy head of 6th form thinks another friend is anorexic, just because shes really slim. The lass in question is 5 foot nowt, size 3 feet, she never was going to be huge, tbqh.
Not you too!
Spoiler
I think hysterical is definitely the word
People don't seem to realise that there's more to anorexia than just the fact that someone is slim 
triggertriggertriggertriggertrigger
Spoiler
Original post by Etoile
Not you too!
I think hysterical is definitely the word People don't seem to realise that there's more to anorexia than just the fact that someone is slim
Spoiler
I think hysterical is definitely the word
People don't seem to realise that there's more to anorexia than just the fact that someone is slim mm, yet the girl who doesnt sleep is probably the one with the ED. I haven't seen her eat in months.
I been slipping in and out of my ED for around a year now. When I first started seriously restricting, I read some article about how just 6 months of starvation could seriously harm your body. I kind of laughed at it because I thought by 6 months I'll be skinny and pretty and I won't even have to do this anymore. A year later, I can't ever imagine being happy with the way I look. If I'm happy with my hips one day, I'll be traumatised by my thighs even more. It's like the thinner I get, the more I need to lose.
I got to my worst stage a few months ago, where I was counting my calorie consumption at around 400 a day. I kept a food diary in my bedroom to make sure. I was in the kitchen checking the calories on tea that night when my mum came down and told me that she'd read my diary. I fainted right then and there, making her even more scared! It was pretty crazy.
After that I started eating again, just because I was afraid of the confrontation, but since then I've lost a hold on that. I feel better in myself when I haven't eaten all day. I feel confident and pretty and people just seem to like me more. I know it's psychological. I realise that people can't tell whether I've eaten 600 calories or 1000 calories today, but it just feels like I'm a better person if it's the former.
I'm probably going crazy
It's just nice to write it all out. I don't keep a food diary anymore you see 
I got to my worst stage a few months ago, where I was counting my calorie consumption at around 400 a day. I kept a food diary in my bedroom to make sure. I was in the kitchen checking the calories on tea that night when my mum came down and told me that she'd read my diary. I fainted right then and there, making her even more scared! It was pretty crazy.
After that I started eating again, just because I was afraid of the confrontation, but since then I've lost a hold on that. I feel better in myself when I haven't eaten all day. I feel confident and pretty and people just seem to like me more. I know it's psychological. I realise that people can't tell whether I've eaten 600 calories or 1000 calories today, but it just feels like I'm a better person if it's the former.
I'm probably going crazy
It's just nice to write it all out. I don't keep a food diary anymore you see I think I've lost a few pounds and I feel so much better.
Isn't it weird that losing or gaining a few pounds makes such a difference to how you feel about life?
Isn't it weird that losing or gaining a few pounds makes such a difference to how you feel about life?
I have officially gained a half pound at my latest weigh-in! To celebrate, a picture of me wearing my new EPIC DINO HAT!
http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/WP_000891.jpg?t=1323361438
FOOD IS THE TASTIEST MEDICINE GUYS!
http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/WP_000891.jpg?t=1323361438
FOOD IS THE TASTIEST MEDICINE GUYS!
Original post by TotoMimo
I have officially gained a half pound at my latest weigh-in! To celebrate, a picture of me wearing my new EPIC DINO HAT!
http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/WP_000891.jpg?t=1323361438
FOOD IS THE TASTIEST MEDICINE GUYS!
http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/WP_000891.jpg?t=1323361438
FOOD IS THE TASTIEST MEDICINE GUYS!
Congrats! You're really inspiring
and I do love the hat!
BMI has gone up to 20.6
apparently this is good
apparently this is good
Hi I'm new here Just wanted to say you are all an inspiration. I'v been battling anorexia for a few years now - it developed during university but i never lost enough weight to be taken seriously until this august when my bmi dropped down to 14. I've been receiving treatment and I've managed to gain up to a bmi to 15.5 - I now its not enough but I've been managing to maintain for a month now, although its been hard, but i feel so proud of myself. I hope to start gaining again soon once i've had some time to sort my head out (i've been suffering from depression as well).
Anyway, recently i decided that i wanted to work in mental health and help people, using my experiences for good I'm going to take a graduate conversion diploma in psychology next september (well, if i get accepted!). I'm nervous as its been a year and a half since i graduated, but its given me a push to keep motivated. Knowing that I need to keep my strength in order to volunteer and gain wor experience between now and when i start studying again has made me feel like i'm allowed to eat again. I started eating breakfast again last week because i felt so positive. It's been ages since I ate breakfast! 
Sorry to ramble, but I feel so good about it, I really wanted to share it!
again, you're all amazing Stay strong!! xx
Just wanted to say you are all an inspiration. I'v been battling anorexia for a few years now - it developed during university but i never lost enough weight to be taken seriously until this august when my bmi dropped down to 14. I've been receiving treatment and I've managed to gain up to a bmi to 15.5 - I now its not enough but I've been managing to maintain for a month now, although its been hard, but i feel so proud of myself. I hope to start gaining again soon once i've had some time to sort my head out (i've been suffering from depression as well).Anyway, recently i decided that i wanted to work in mental health and help people, using my experiences for good
I'm going to take a graduate conversion diploma in psychology next september (well, if i get accepted!). I'm nervous as its been a year and a half since i graduated, but its given me a push to keep motivated. Knowing that I need to keep my strength in order to volunteer and gain wor experience between now and when i start studying again has made me feel like i'm allowed to eat again. I started eating breakfast again last week because i felt so positive. It's been ages since I ate breakfast! Sorry to ramble, but I feel so good about it, I really wanted to share it!
again, you're all amazing
Stay strong!! xxOh ffs. A confession for you all. I'm the world's ****tiest anorexic/orthorexic:
Rant over.
Toto, Cinamon, awesome! : D
Spoiler
Rant over.
Toto, Cinamon, awesome! : D
Original post by Riku
Oh ffs. A confession for you all. I'm the world's ****tiest anorexic/orthorexic:
Rant over.
Toto, Cinamon, awesome! : D
Spoiler
Rant over.
Toto, Cinamon, awesome! : D
Spoiler
Good luck hun xx
EDIT: Ignore this. I'm not really asking for advice or opinions or anything. I just really need to write something, somewhere where I know others can relate or just listen. I can't speak to my best friends because I'm scared to burden them, and I can't speak to family because they don't know. I can't take this isolation. I'm used to being alone (introvert by choice), but my ED takes it on a whole new level and I just really need to do this.
I can't cry. All I've wanted to do for the last couple days was cry but I can't do that. I'm so close to decreasing my caloric intake from 900 to 500-800 (or less!) because I'm not losing weight anymore. I don't care if it was all water weight that I lost, at least the measurements on the measuring tape kept me content.
I've tried the whole increase my caloric uptake for a day or two (I did this on Sat/Sun and used to consume 1200 calories). I can't do this anymore. Since I relapsed in October(?) I lost about 1.5" off my hips (used to be 38", now 36.5") but some how gained 0.5" on my waist (used to be 29.5-30", now 30.5")? I can't take it anymore. No matter what I do I feel fat all the time. I used to be thrilled when I reached 36.5", but like I said before, I feel fat all the time, and I can't take feeling/looking like this. When I look in the mirror, I see the person I used to be 4 years ago - the 13 year old with 44" hips. I've lost almost 10" since that time so how has my perception of myself not changed
I really wanna see a counsellor in my school because I can't take not having anyone to talk to about this but I know if I see a counsellor then they're gonna tell my teachers and my teachers will most probably tell my family and I can't have them find out.
My sister and her husband came over and visited today and she asked if I had lunch, I said yeah, I had soup. She said "but soups not enough to fill anyone up" I HATE ****ing feeling full up. I feel full now and no joke, I feel like killing myself. The tears are finally falling, but not as rapid as I wish.
When I eat, I eat enough to ensure I don't feel hungry, I don't keep eating until I feel full. I don't know why but that feeling just makes me feel really suicidal and really hurts me. I wanna hurt myself and when I do, the pain doesn't hurt me enough. After my sister said soup isn't enough to fill anyone up, I said I didn't wanna eat because they (her, her husband and my other siblings) were gonna eat rice and curry and I absolutely can not eat rice/curry. After I said I didn't wanna eat, she snapped at me! She said "I hate it when you do this! Every time I come over you always make me upset!" What. The. ****!!? She was so close to finding out about my ED this time last week, and she knows I have a problem yet everything about my 'eating habits' (as she likes to call whatever it is she thinks is going on with me) seems to suddenly revolve around her.
I can't cry. All I've wanted to do for the last couple days was cry but I can't do that. I'm so close to decreasing my caloric intake from 900 to 500-800 (or less!) because I'm not losing weight anymore. I don't care if it was all water weight that I lost, at least the measurements on the measuring tape kept me content.
I've tried the whole increase my caloric uptake for a day or two (I did this on Sat/Sun and used to consume 1200 calories). I can't do this anymore. Since I relapsed in October(?) I lost about 1.5" off my hips (used to be 38", now 36.5") but some how gained 0.5" on my waist (used to be 29.5-30", now 30.5")? I can't take it anymore. No matter what I do I feel fat all the time. I used to be thrilled when I reached 36.5", but like I said before, I feel fat all the time, and I can't take feeling/looking like this. When I look in the mirror, I see the person I used to be 4 years ago - the 13 year old with 44" hips. I've lost almost 10" since that time so how has my perception of myself not changed
I really wanna see a counsellor in my school because I can't take not having anyone to talk to about this but I know if I see a counsellor then they're gonna tell my teachers and my teachers will most probably tell my family and I can't have them find out.
My sister and her husband came over and visited today and she asked if I had lunch, I said yeah, I had soup. She said "but soups not enough to fill anyone up" I HATE ****ing feeling full up. I feel full now and no joke, I feel like killing myself. The tears are finally falling, but not as rapid as I wish.
When I eat, I eat enough to ensure I don't feel hungry, I don't keep eating until I feel full. I don't know why but that feeling just makes me feel really suicidal and really hurts me. I wanna hurt myself and when I do, the pain doesn't hurt me enough. After my sister said soup isn't enough to fill anyone up, I said I didn't wanna eat because they (her, her husband and my other siblings) were gonna eat rice and curry and I absolutely can not eat rice/curry. After I said I didn't wanna eat, she snapped at me! She said "I hate it when you do this! Every time I come over you always make me upset!" What. The. ****!!? She was so close to finding out about my ED this time last week, and she knows I have a problem yet everything about my 'eating habits' (as she likes to call whatever it is she thinks is going on with me) seems to suddenly revolve around her.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Good luck hun xx
Spoiler
Good luck hun xx
Please do not read if easily triggered by weights, numbers or images:
Spoiler
Thank you
(edited 12 years ago)
Okay... quite a bit of negativity here...
Antiaris collected sunshine...
Antiaris used solarbeam!
Depression was defeated!
Kay, people, we need to sort what exactly is causing these underlying problems. You don't need to say it out loud, you need to look within yourself and find what are the thoughts that ORIGINALLY set off the eating disorder. If you can cut the root you can begin to kill the main plant.
Sorry about the spurge, began as one thing then...
Bleughblablableughbla
Antiaris collected sunshine...
Antiaris used solarbeam!
Depression was defeated!
Kay, people, we need to sort what exactly is causing these underlying problems. You don't need to say it out loud, you need to look within yourself and find what are the thoughts that ORIGINALLY set off the eating disorder. If you can cut the root you can begin to kill the main plant.
Spoiler
Sorry about the spurge, began as one thing then...
Bleughblablableughbla
Original post by TotoMimo
I have officially gained a half pound at my latest weigh-in! To celebrate, a picture of me wearing my new EPIC DINO HAT!
http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/WP_000891.jpg?t=1323361438
FOOD IS THE TASTIEST MEDICINE GUYS!
http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/WP_000891.jpg?t=1323361438
FOOD IS THE TASTIEST MEDICINE GUYS!
hat is made of win. I do likey.
Original post by Antiaris
Okay... quite a bit of negativity here...
Antiaris collected sunshine...
Antiaris used solarbeam!
Depression was defeated!
Kay, people, we need to sort what exactly is causing these underlying problems. You don't need to say it out loud, you need to look within yourself and find what are the thoughts that ORIGINALLY set off the eating disorder. If you can cut the root you can begin to kill the main plant.
Sorry about the spurge, began as one thing then...
Bleughblablableughbla
Antiaris collected sunshine...
Antiaris used solarbeam!
Depression was defeated!
Kay, people, we need to sort what exactly is causing these underlying problems. You don't need to say it out loud, you need to look within yourself and find what are the thoughts that ORIGINALLY set off the eating disorder. If you can cut the root you can begin to kill the main plant.
Spoiler
Sorry about the spurge, began as one thing then...
Bleughblablableughbla
I admire your honesty and it's great that your BMI is up. You really are brave, I wish I could be as strong as you.
Original post by Vixen47
EDIT: Ignore this. I'm not really asking for advice or opinions or anything. I just really need to write something, somewhere where I know others can relate or just listen. I can't speak to my best friends because I'm scared to burden them, and I can't speak to family because they don't know. I can't take this isolation. I'm used to being alone (introvert by choice), but my ED takes it on a whole new level and I just really need to do this.
I can't cry. All I've wanted to do for the last couple days was cry but I can't do that. I'm so close to decreasing my caloric intake from 900 to 500-800 (or less!) because I'm not losing weight anymore. I don't care if it was all water weight that I lost, at least the measurements on the measuring tape kept me content.
I've tried the whole increase my caloric uptake for a day or two (I did this on Sat/Sun and used to consume 1200 calories). I can't do this anymore. Since I relapsed in October(?) I lost about 1.5" off my hips (used to be 38", now 36.5") but some how gained 0.5" on my waist (used to be 29.5-30", now 30.5")? I can't take it anymore. No matter what I do I feel fat all the time. I used to be thrilled when I reached 36.5", but like I said before, I feel fat all the time, and I can't take feeling/looking like this. When I look in the mirror, I see the person I used to be 4 years ago - the 13 year old with 44" hips. I've lost almost 10" since that time so how has my perception of myself not changed
I really wanna see a counsellor in my school because I can't take not having anyone to talk to about this but I know if I see a counsellor then they're gonna tell my teachers and my teachers will most probably tell my family and I can't have them find out.
My sister and her husband came over and visited today and she asked if I had lunch, I said yeah, I had soup. She said "but soups not enough to fill anyone up" I HATE ****ing feeling full up. I feel full now and no joke, I feel like killing myself. The tears are finally falling, but not as rapid as I wish.
When I eat, I eat enough to ensure I don't feel hungry, I don't keep eating until I feel full. I don't know why but that feeling just makes me feel really suicidal and really hurts me. I wanna hurt myself and when I do, the pain doesn't hurt me enough. After my sister said soup isn't enough to fill anyone up, I said I didn't wanna eat because they (her, her husband and my other siblings) were gonna eat rice and curry and I absolutely can not eat rice/curry. After I said I didn't wanna eat, she snapped at me! She said "I hate it when you do this! Every time I come over you always make me upset!" What. The. ****!!? She was so close to finding out about my ED this time last week, and she knows I have a problem yet everything about my 'eating habits' (as she likes to call whatever it is she thinks is going on with me) seems to suddenly revolve around her.
I can't cry. All I've wanted to do for the last couple days was cry but I can't do that. I'm so close to decreasing my caloric intake from 900 to 500-800 (or less!) because I'm not losing weight anymore. I don't care if it was all water weight that I lost, at least the measurements on the measuring tape kept me content.
I've tried the whole increase my caloric uptake for a day or two (I did this on Sat/Sun and used to consume 1200 calories). I can't do this anymore. Since I relapsed in October(?) I lost about 1.5" off my hips (used to be 38", now 36.5") but some how gained 0.5" on my waist (used to be 29.5-30", now 30.5")? I can't take it anymore. No matter what I do I feel fat all the time. I used to be thrilled when I reached 36.5", but like I said before, I feel fat all the time, and I can't take feeling/looking like this. When I look in the mirror, I see the person I used to be 4 years ago - the 13 year old with 44" hips. I've lost almost 10" since that time so how has my perception of myself not changed
I really wanna see a counsellor in my school because I can't take not having anyone to talk to about this but I know if I see a counsellor then they're gonna tell my teachers and my teachers will most probably tell my family and I can't have them find out.
My sister and her husband came over and visited today and she asked if I had lunch, I said yeah, I had soup. She said "but soups not enough to fill anyone up" I HATE ****ing feeling full up. I feel full now and no joke, I feel like killing myself. The tears are finally falling, but not as rapid as I wish.
When I eat, I eat enough to ensure I don't feel hungry, I don't keep eating until I feel full. I don't know why but that feeling just makes me feel really suicidal and really hurts me. I wanna hurt myself and when I do, the pain doesn't hurt me enough. After my sister said soup isn't enough to fill anyone up, I said I didn't wanna eat because they (her, her husband and my other siblings) were gonna eat rice and curry and I absolutely can not eat rice/curry. After I said I didn't wanna eat, she snapped at me! She said "I hate it when you do this! Every time I come over you always make me upset!" What. The. ****!!? She was so close to finding out about my ED this time last week, and she knows I have a problem yet everything about my 'eating habits' (as she likes to call whatever it is she thinks is going on with me) seems to suddenly revolve around her.
Aw, if I could give you a massive hug right now I would
I totally understand the feeling of self-hatred when feeling full. It feels like a loss of control, it feels like suddenly right then and right there you're sudden;y gaining weight even though that's just a ridiculous thought and the rational part of yourself knows it. But the rational part of you is always undermined by the voice of the ED.I know it's so hard and I can totally relate to how you're feeling, but please stay strong. You're not alone
You have to remember that starving yourself for so long, your stomach doesn't know what the hell is going on either. So when you feel full, it's uncomfortable, when in reality, it's probably not even literally "full" at all.
Look what Mum got me for my birthday tomorrow, peepz!
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
Original post by Riku
Look what Mum got me for my birthday tomorrow, peepz!
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
Happy Birthday for tomorrow
