Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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I was watching a movie before and have absolutely no idea what it was about as all through it I was planning on what to eat tomorrow /:
Original post by Riku
x
Happy birthday.
Original post by Riku
Look what Mum got me for my birthday tomorrow, peepz!
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
enjoy your fruitcake with marzipan
I'll never forgive my ED for forcing me to drop out of Uni at Exeter this year. I just wasn't strong enough. It gave me the kick up the arse I needed for recovery though. Never been so determined.
I posted in here anonymously a few weeks ago, but I'm going to poke my head above the parapet and tiptoe in here. It's now eleven days since my first appointment for assessment, my BMI was measured at around 16 and I am most definitely anorexic, with a referral to a therapist (who I've had one session with and really like), and a dietician (who I'm seeing on Tuesday for the first time and seems really nice too!). Spending the week commuting between home and university rather than staying in the **** hole that is my halls of residence has done wonders for my mental health and positivity but I haven't been out in nearly two weeks and feel that I'm missing out in some way- that the choice for me is between recovery and my degree where others have to balance their social life and their degree.
However, today's way of saying "**** you" to my eating disorder was polishing off a Terry's Chocolate Orange and a mushroom pizza at Pizza Express.
However, today's way of saying "**** you" to my eating disorder was polishing off a Terry's Chocolate Orange and a mushroom pizza at Pizza Express.
Happy birthday Riku
Original post by sequinsplease
I posted in here anonymously a few weeks ago, but I'm going to poke my head above the parapet and tiptoe in here. It's now eleven days since my first appointment for assessment, my BMI was measured at around 16 and I am most definitely anorexic, with a referral to a therapist (who I've had one session with and really like), and a dietician (who I'm seeing on Tuesday for the first time and seems really nice too!). Spending the week commuting between home and university rather than staying in the **** hole that is my halls of residence has done wonders for my mental health and positivity but I haven't been out in nearly two weeks and feel that I'm missing out in some way- that the choice for me is between recovery and my degree where others have to balance their social life and their degree.
However, today's way of saying "**** you" to my eating disorder was polishing off a Terry's Chocolate Orange and a mushroom pizza at Pizza Express.
However, today's way of saying "**** you" to my eating disorder was polishing off a Terry's Chocolate Orange and a mushroom pizza at Pizza Express.
Well done you, it's great to see such a positive attitude
Original post by Riku
Look what Mum got me for my birthday tomorrow, peepz!
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/album.php?albumid=4040&pictureid=16059
Fruitcake with marzipan, my (joint) fave ^ ^
Party and that tomorrow at Dad's too. Determined to let myself be free to eat and think as I please, even if for just one day.
That was all I had to say, really. The longer I talk the more I ramble my way into an unnecessary depression when things are actually pretty good.
Happy birthday, hope you enjoyed your day!
Hey Riku, Happy Birthday, and I hope you enjoyed some of that totally badass fruitcake. Sounds tasty as frick!
Think of it this way; on your birthday, you are only technically one day older than yesterday, but with an entire year's worth of reflection! In this, you should take a year of happiness, of follies, mistakes and anomalies and embrace every last moment of it. For tomorrow, you begin your first full day, first 24 hours, as your new age, in your new year of life, and take one step closer to writing on the golden gilded pages of your life story!
Think of it this way; on your birthday, you are only technically one day older than yesterday, but with an entire year's worth of reflection! In this, you should take a year of happiness, of follies, mistakes and anomalies and embrace every last moment of it. For tomorrow, you begin your first full day, first 24 hours, as your new age, in your new year of life, and take one step closer to writing on the golden gilded pages of your life story!
Happy birthday Riku! 
I apologise in advance for the negativity of this post but I really really need to vent because I feel like I'm going to explode.
Sorry.
I'm SO relieved it's the end of term on Friday, I don't think I'd be able to cope much longer. Uni with an ED is really hard. I thought that moving away would make everything better and now all I want is to go home. I don't think I mentioned this here but a mutual friend died from anorexia last week and one of my best friends from hospital is currently in a medical ward with a heart monitor and a drip.
For some reason it's made me even worse mentally even though I actually managed to eat a 'healthy' amount today. I'm just exhausted and I still haven't got anywhere with my coursework and I have 2 pieces due on Thursday and a short story and a critical analysis due on Monday but I'm leaving on Friday so I need it done by then and I can't ask for an extension because I just don't want to be here any longer than I need to be. I feel like I've lost all motivation and on the weight/behaviour side *trigger in white*
I'm just really frustrated with this illness and I really want it out of my life now but I don't think I can do it at university (the kitchen/flatmate issue is a huge thing for me) but I can't drop out when there's no medical reason for it (I'll feel like a failure) but equally, I don't want to wait until I get even worse (even though my ED wants me to) and though my parents say that it's obvious that I'm not well by looking at me, I don't believe them. I just want it to be Friday so I can go home...
Sorry. I don't want to be negative. I just didn't know where else to go...
A recovery picture/message that I found on tumblr and reminded me of what I'll be able to have if I just try to pick myself up...
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw1ryz6xjh1r6mb0lo1_500.jpg
Sorry.
I'm SO relieved it's the end of term on Friday, I don't think I'd be able to cope much longer. Uni with an ED is really hard. I thought that moving away would make everything better and now all I want is to go home. I don't think I mentioned this here but a mutual friend died from anorexia last week and one of my best friends from hospital is currently in a medical ward with a heart monitor and a drip.
For some reason it's made me even worse mentally even though I actually managed to eat a 'healthy' amount today. I'm just exhausted and I still haven't got anywhere with my coursework and I have 2 pieces due on Thursday and a short story and a critical analysis due on Monday but I'm leaving on Friday so I need it done by then and I can't ask for an extension because I just don't want to be here any longer than I need to be. I feel like I've lost all motivation and on the weight/behaviour side *trigger in white* Spoiler
I'm just really frustrated with this illness and I really want it out of my life now but I don't think I can do it at university (the kitchen/flatmate issue is a huge thing for me) but I can't drop out when there's no medical reason for it (I'll feel like a failure) but equally, I don't want to wait until I get even worse (even though my ED wants me to) and though my parents say that it's obvious that I'm not well by looking at me, I don't believe them. I just want it to be Friday so I can go home...
Sorry. I don't want to be negative. I just didn't know where else to go...
A recovery picture/message that I found on tumblr and reminded me of what I'll be able to have if I just try to pick myself up...
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw1ryz6xjh1r6mb0lo1_500.jpg
(edited 12 years ago)
Saw a young girl (about fourteen or so) on the tube today who was obviously bulimic (scars on index finger/chipped nail polish just on that finger/swollen salivary glands) I wanted to say something to her so badly but she was with friends so didn't want to embarrass the poor thing. So I caught her eye and made it obvious that I was looking at her hand and smiled. How much would I at that age have wanted someone who understood? Even a complete stranger. I just hope that she gets the help she needs.
Anyway, I've been seeing this boy on and off since the summer and he's just lovely but he keeps making me food, especially on a morning. He actually made a fry up unprompted the first time we slept together but I didn't eat it (he didn't know I was vegetarian) but then this weekend he had actually bought quorn sausages and bacon and I just didn't know what to say so I waited until he was in the shower and wrapped it up and put it in my handbag (because I'm an ungrateful b***h who doesn't care about wasting people's money). I wish that I wasn't like this.
Final thing my dad calls me fat when he's angry, on Friday I didn't get off the sofa to help him quick enough (because he hadn't made it clear that he wanted me to help) and he told me to get off my "f**king fat a***e". He doesn't get that that's the one insult that really hurts me, and it's not something I could brush off. Anything else I can put down to him being irrational when he's angry but calling me fat just goes around my head over and over. Ugh.
Anyway, I've been seeing this boy on and off since the summer and he's just lovely but he keeps making me food, especially on a morning. He actually made a fry up unprompted the first time we slept together but I didn't eat it (he didn't know I was vegetarian) but then this weekend he had actually bought quorn sausages and bacon and I just didn't know what to say so I waited until he was in the shower and wrapped it up and put it in my handbag (because I'm an ungrateful b***h who doesn't care about wasting people's money). I wish that I wasn't like this.
Final thing my dad calls me fat when he's angry, on Friday I didn't get off the sofa to help him quick enough (because he hadn't made it clear that he wanted me to help) and he told me to get off my "f**king fat a***e". He doesn't get that that's the one insult that really hurts me, and it's not something I could brush off. Anything else I can put down to him being irrational when he's angry but calling me fat just goes around my head over and over. Ugh.
And Happy Birthday Riku!
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Saw a young girl (about fourteen or so) on the tube today who was obviously bulimic (scars on index finger/chipped nail polish just on that finger/swollen salivary glands) I wanted to say something to her so badly but she was with friends so didn't want to embarrass the poor thing. So I caught her eye and made it obvious that I was looking at her hand and smiled. How much would I at that age have wanted someone who understood? Even a complete stranger. I just hope that she gets the help she needs.
Anyway, I've been seeing this boy on and off since the summer and he's just lovely but he keeps making me food, especially on a morning. He actually made a fry up unprompted the first time we slept together but I didn't eat it (he didn't know I was vegetarian) but then this weekend he had actually bought quorn sausages and bacon and I just didn't know what to say so I waited until he was in the shower and wrapped it up and put it in my handbag (because I'm an ungrateful b***h who doesn't care about wasting people's money). I wish that I wasn't like this.
Final thing my dad calls me fat when he's angry, on Friday I didn't get off the sofa to help him quick enough (because he hadn't made it clear that he wanted me to help) and he told me to get off my "f**king fat a***e". He doesn't get that that's the one insult that really hurts me, and it's not something I could brush off. Anything else I can put down to him being irrational when he's angry but calling me fat just goes around my head over and over. Ugh.
Anyway, I've been seeing this boy on and off since the summer and he's just lovely but he keeps making me food, especially on a morning. He actually made a fry up unprompted the first time we slept together but I didn't eat it (he didn't know I was vegetarian) but then this weekend he had actually bought quorn sausages and bacon and I just didn't know what to say so I waited until he was in the shower and wrapped it up and put it in my handbag (because I'm an ungrateful b***h who doesn't care about wasting people's money). I wish that I wasn't like this.
Final thing my dad calls me fat when he's angry, on Friday I didn't get off the sofa to help him quick enough (because he hadn't made it clear that he wanted me to help) and he told me to get off my "f**king fat a***e". He doesn't get that that's the one insult that really hurts me, and it's not something I could brush off. Anything else I can put down to him being irrational when he's angry but calling me fat just goes around my head over and over. Ugh.
Can you talk to your dad about it? It's so sad when you see people who are obviously sick. 
Original post by diamonddust Can you talk to your dad about it? It's so sad when you see people who are obviously sick.
Can you talk to your dad about it? It's so sad when you see people who are obviously sick. He would get seriously offended if I was to say anything. He's always said just to ignore the things he says when he's angry because he hates himself afterwards.
I know, I just wanted to give her a hug.
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
He would get seriously offended if I was to say anything. He's always said just to ignore the things he says when he's angry because he hates himself afterwards.
I know, I just wanted to give her a hug.
I know, I just wanted to give her a hug.
Well you can have a hug from me!
Original post by diamonddust
Well you can have a hug from me!
Aww, hugs back!
Penblwydd Hapus Riku!
Rant
Spoiler
I can't stop eating and it's been getting so bad I don't know what to do and I don't know how to stop myself when I'm alone.
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