Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Anonymous
I just made this 
Me again... Feel free to download and add guns or other weapons
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Is there anything that will calm you/ take your mind of it? Like doing something artistic/ making lists/ even focusing on something 'normal' like cleaning/ sorting through your wardrobe? (Seriously, this is the one thing that helps me to avoid going mental- menial activities that require no thought but a lot of focus.) And you get to feel all acomplished when you're finished.
You will not believe how much I wanted to sit and play major scales all the way up and then back down the fretboard of my guitar at half 11 last night. If my acoustic guitar's strings didnt turn my fingers black, I'dve done it.
Original post by .snowflake.
You will not believe how much I wanted to sit and play major scales all the way up and then back down the fretboard of my guitar at half 11 last night. If my acoustic guitar's strings didnt turn my fingers black, I'dve done it.
But you're feeling better today, I hope.
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
But you're feeling better today, I hope.
noope. Still feel as anxious as ****. Was given the choice of doing past exam Q's on protein synthesis & HIV, or making a flowchart in bio this am. Went for the questions as they were a serious of really short things to focus on, rather than one big thing to get distracted on/ preoccupied with making it look pretty.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by .snowflake.
noope. Still feel as anxious as ****. Was given the choice of doing past exam Q's on protein synthesis & HIV, or making a flowchart. Went for the questions as they were a serious of really short things to focus on, rather than one big thing to get distracted on/ preoccupied with making it look pretty.
get out your guitar right now and play until dogs are howling!Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete get out your guitar right now and play until dogs are howling!
get out your guitar right now and play until dogs are howling!very tempted, will try and concentrate on this biology on coral bleaching I need to do, then play scales until my fingers explode, THEN do the translation.
Original post by .snowflake.
very tempted, will try and concentrate on this biology on coral bleaching I need to do, then play scales until my fingers explode, THEN do the translation.
Good idea!
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
Good idea!
otherwise my translation will be absolutely pants, and sir will take the micky/ get worried.
Making a Yuck or Yum list. So far my "exposure therapy" has been just that, diving into situations that scare the hell out of me, calculating how this is going to kill me, then doing it anyway to prove it won't. Except then I feel guilty or panic. Seems a bit pointless if I'm not enjoying it, not thinking about whether I actually like what I'm having but am just testing myself, in fact that's almost punitive and counterproductive. Certainly wasting a lot of valuable time, this semester's just whizzed by!
Also I've noticed I pretend to be indecisive, saying "I don't mind" or "I'll have it if you are/don't want it" when really that means "I'm dying for this, but am really afraid of having it and need your reassurance and approval beforehand".
So no more, I'm going to try and make up my own mind. Only way to turn food back into a friend is stop deciding what to have based on its chemical composition and start asking 3 questions:
a) Do I need it? (i.e. am I hungry?)
b) Do I like it? (Am I eating this simply because it's there? Would I have this if I didn't give a s**t about the macros or cals?)
c) Do I want this now, or can it wait until later?
Can't believe I haven't done this already. Am I just really slow on he uptake with how to properly use a food diary? When I was doing them in therapy most of my "feelings" were actually excuses not to have it.
Still really unsure with the curry night too : /
Also I've noticed I pretend to be indecisive, saying "I don't mind" or "I'll have it if you are/don't want it" when really that means "I'm dying for this, but am really afraid of having it and need your reassurance and approval beforehand".
So no more, I'm going to try and make up my own mind. Only way to turn food back into a friend is stop deciding what to have based on its chemical composition and start asking 3 questions:
a) Do I need it? (i.e. am I hungry?)
b) Do I like it? (Am I eating this simply because it's there? Would I have this if I didn't give a s**t about the macros or cals?)
c) Do I want this now, or can it wait until later?
Can't believe I haven't done this already. Am I just really slow on he uptake with how to properly use a food diary? When I was doing them in therapy most of my "feelings" were actually excuses not to have it.
Still really unsure with the curry night too : /
Been told I don't have an eating disorder because I love food
Not sure whether this is the right place to post:
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
Original post by TheHaylio
Not sure whether this is the right place to post:
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
This sounds to me like the bipolar, confusing beginning phase of what may turn into a restrictive or binge-purge disorder. You should really bring this up with your GP, as the mental obsession with food is already there; habitual eating (your breakfast for example) is already there; you are already binging.
Please, please, PLEASE tell your current GP.
Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
Original post by TotoMimo
This sounds to me like the bipolar, confusing beginning phase of what may turn into a restrictive or binge-purge disorder. You should really bring this up with your GP, as the mental obsession with food is already there; habitual eating (your breakfast for example) is already there; you are already binging.
Please, please, PLEASE tell your current GP.
Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
Please, please, PLEASE tell your current GP.
Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
Thank you very much for your reply - i genuinely don't think it's that serious though... the breakfast things is mainly for speed plus thats what my mum puts out for me.
I don't really want to go to the GP as it is literally next door to my house etc, i know they have to be confidential - i just don't feel confident going to them. They will probably just send me to counselling and i dont want to go through that again as i didn't find it of any help - it just brought problems to the surface i didn't even realise i had!
Thanks again for the reply
Original post by TotoMimo
Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
Cinamon, if that were the case and we didn't have EDs if we had a love, passion and obsession with food, I can safely say that I would have the LEAST amount of ED badness out of EVERYONE IN THE WORLD.
Quoted for truths.
Original post by TheHaylio
Not sure whether this is the right place to post:
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
You're right to be concerned and to post here; if you start making yourself vomit after eating regularly, please please see your GP. Also you really need to lift your self-esteem; you need a big big hug and must give yourself a break. I'm sure you're seeing things no one else does, remember nobody is 100% happy with their bodies and you should take some time out to spoil yourself and look after YOU
I do hope you feel better soon.Day three of being b/p free 
It's so weird, why do I not even have the urge to do it, why is it so easy? Makes me worried that it won't last for long...
...Why am I so pessimistic?
It's so weird, why do I not even have the urge to do it, why is it so easy? Makes me worried that it won't last for long......Why am I so pessimistic?
I just went to the doctor for a very personal but worrying problem which I'll spoiler. Spoiler
What did he prescribe me? Laxatives.
Laxatives to someone who has worked so hard for years to beat laxative abuse. I felt really upset and chucked away my prescription. I've been strongly advised to register with another GP. Oh gosh I don't know what to do. 
Original post by Anonymous
Day three of being b/p free It's so weird, why do I not even have the urge to do it, why is it so easy? Makes me worried that it won't last for long...
...Why am I so pessimistic?
It's so weird, why do I not even have the urge to do it, why is it so easy? Makes me worried that it won't last for long......Why am I so pessimistic?
It's a very natural concern to have.
But the other way of looking at it is that it's a good thing it's so easy at the moment. It might not always be that easy, you'll probably struggle with it at times, but when you get those times you can look back and know that it was easy sometimes and that you got through those days without the urge to do it, so you know the bad times will pass when you do get them.
Original post by briesandwich I just went to the doctor for a very personal but worrying problem which I'll spoiler.
What did he prescribe me? Laxatives. Laxatives to someone who has worked so hard for years to beat laxative abuse. I felt really upset and chucked away my prescription. I've been strongly advised to register with another GP. Oh gosh I don't know what to do.
I just went to the doctor for a very personal but worrying problem which I'll spoiler. Spoiler
What did he prescribe me? Laxatives.
Laxatives to someone who has worked so hard for years to beat laxative abuse. I felt really upset and chucked away my prescription. I've been strongly advised to register with another GP. Oh gosh I don't know what to do. 
Definitely go and speak to another GP if you can.
And on the positive, well done for working so hard to beat the laxative abuse. And well done for recognising that it wouldn't be a good idea for you to take them if it makes you struggle again.
Is there another doctor there you'd be comfortable speaking to? xx
Original post by TheHaylio
Original post by TheHaylio
Not sure whether this is the right place to post:
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
For around 2 years now, i have had a really bad relationship with food. I love it, yet hate it at the same time. I can't control myself at some points and eat loads of ****, whilst at other times i purposfully only eat bananas and cereal etc.
I'm very body concious, and constantlly feel fat compared to the leggy blondes at my college. It's not that i'm fat, i just seem to carry more weight on my stomach than anywhere else - plus i have big boobs which make me look fat no matter what i where. Also recently - my hips have started growing loads and i hate it, i can grab the fat and it physically makes me feel sick
I don't get through a day without thinking about food in a bad way.
Breakfast is fine as it's the same thing everyday; low fat and healthy.
Lunch at college is awful. The temptation of choalte bars and chips is ridiulus. I feel bad for eating a cheese sandwich knowing how bad it is for me
Dinner is usually healthy as i'm a veggie and my mum cooks good food.
My issues is snacking. I can't stop. I think it's out of boredom.
Today ( and this is an extreme) i ate an ENTIRE terrys choc orange. I felt so bad i went and puked in the sink - this is the 1st time i've done this and it made me realise that my attutude to food is awful.
I have no idea what to do, as it depresses me so much as my entire life is ruled by the 'Should i have that choc bar or not' demon inside me :/
Any help would be much appreciated.
I think this thread is a good place to be but would like to point out that eating an entire Choc orange is custom around Christmas, don't feel too bad about it.
Those things are designed to be eaten in one sitting
Original post by Lily Academia
I think this thread is a good place to be but would like to point out that eating an entire Choc orange is custom around Christmas, don't feel too bad about it.
Those things are designed to be eaten in one sitting
Those things are designed to be eaten in one sitting
One Christmas, I ate an entire box of those chocolate orange variety segments! They're heavenly.. I long for that again - just eating because I like the taste of something.
No other reason. I want this Christmas to be different though.. For 4 years I have had unhappy Anorexic Christmas's and this year I want a happy one. I'm psyching myself up for it as well.. There are 365 days in a year and I've restricted my intake every single day. 1 day out of 365 where I relax around food and eat with my family will NOT make a difference at all! Everyone eats lovely food at Christmas and I should be no different. No one will judge me! No one really cares if I eat chocolate and turkey.
(So long as it's not together...but why do I imagine that would be quite nice?)
