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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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Reply 2460
Anon, I have no idea why you would want to purposely force your body into a situation of painful anguish. TALK TO A GP!!

With regards to my comment before about my mad eating frenzy on boxing day, seems the weight gain just skipped a day. This morning my scale jumped up 4 lbs.

Guess that's what I get. I was WONDERING why I'd only gained a half pound from eating THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE, haha!!
People tend to overeat during recovery. It's a given.

One thing about people reach a low weight is that their Leptin levels become skewed. This is what causes amenorrhea in women and causes hunger signals to be skewed. Leptin levels don't become normalised until weight restoration (and a little bit above.)

There are a few theories as to what is best.

Some say people SHOULD binge as this gets rid of the pent up cravings. A large intake of vitamins and minerals combined with a large surplus of calories will help the body recover faster than taking in the same amount of calories over an extended period. This can be dangerous IF THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF THE EATING DISORDER IS NOT SORTED.

People forget.

An eating disorder is simply a symptom. It isn't a 'habit'. Yes, it is a major problem but it tends to be the result of a much deeper issue. Cut the weed by the roots and you don't need to worry about it.

Judging from what Toto said he ate until his stomach hurt. Leptin levels aren't there to say when he is full, his body is in a catabolic state where it is simply screaming FEED ME, it's Christmas therefore there is a social attachment to eating absurd quantities...

I'm not going to give advice as I'm not too sure what could be causing his issues with food, but just throwing in that overeating at this stage has cause. It isn't the beginning of a new eating disorder.

EDIT; Hallo Toto! You posted whilst I was typing that up... Hope you had a gorgeous Krimbo!
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 2462
What an articulate and succinct way to put it, Antiaris. I never once assumed I had started a "new disorder" but perhaps was worried such a thing might develop as such.

In some ways I think it started as a "screw you, ED!" - which then got a bit out of hand, and for lack of a better way of putting it, I was enveloped in this... bubble of helplessness as my mind didn't connect the dots. I just continued to eat even though I didn't recognise any feeling of satiation or hunger; I just ate.

But the fact that I had about <2400 kcals on Christmas day and then perhaps 4500 the following day, that's a mere two days out of my ENTIRE LIFE I've overeaten; yesterday I went back to my standard 2000, but regardless, the aftermath shown on the scales.

What I cannot fathom however is that the day after my "binge" I as only up one half of a pound, whereas the following day (today) I've gained nearly 4lbs.

It makes it evident how people easily put on stones and stones with consistent overeating...
Reply 2463
Original post by Riku

No offence taken, Sam. Glad you've made progress in recovery to this point and I sincerely hope you, Toto and all other ED sufferers can make it all the way to an ED-free life at your own pace :smile:


Likewise to you, Riku :smile:

Original post by Antiaris


Some say people SHOULD binge as this gets rid of the pent up cravings. A large intake of vitamins and minerals combined with a large surplus of calories will help the body recover faster than taking in the same amount of calories over an extended period. This can be dangerous IF THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OF THE EATING DISORDER IS NOT SORTED.


I guess for me it's a semantic issue. I see a 'binge' as having a compulsive, emotional quality that goes beyond the physical (even if the physical plays a large part) - and therefore being inherently disordered and not part of recovery. I suppose if we just look at it as frantic overeating and if it's only been for a couple of days over Christmas then maybe it's nothing to worry about (I'm not aware of Toto's history, I only read the last few posts).

I'm not saying for one second that bulimia or binge-eating disorder is an inevitable consequence of binging in recovery from anorexia, just that it's something to be careful of. A substantial proportion of 'recovered' anorexics do become bulimics: where we used to use restriction to cope, we start to use binging and compensating (whether through purging or exercise and restriction, as in my case). Perhaps it's something to keep an eye on is all I'm saying. Not that things are hopeless for me now, by any stretch of the imagination, but if I could go back to my weight regaining period I'd have done it differently.

Having said that, recovery is a personal journey and it could well be that what didn't work for me works fine for someone else.

Good luck anyway, Toto and all. I hope those 4lbs don't become the focus of your day :smile:
Reply 2464
Unfortunately I've been plagued by that almost-4lb-in-a-day gain all day, although I have been strong and not tried to counteract it by exercising like a maniac. :smile:
Original post by TotoMimo
Unfortunately I've been plagued by that almost-4lb-in-a-day gain all day, although I have been strong and not tried to counteract it by exercising like a maniac. :smile:

toto, you won't have put on 4lbs in a day, it may well be your body retaining a lot of water if you've been nibbling away at salty things/ carbs.
Toto - you know that you won't have actually gained 4lb's.... your body will definitely have retained a lot of water from the christmas goodies. I'm glad to hear you aren't going to over-exercise... and don't restrict to compensate either matey :wink:

And :hugs: Riku you are so brave, honestly :smile: ... and everyone else that's having a tough time :hugs:

----------

On a massive downer at the moment. I feel pathetic because I am loosing weight again and so many people loose it for the right reasons and don't over-dramatize, and get on with their lives.. but I feel so weak and can't stand up without getting dizzy. I either have energy and loads of anxiety, or none at all and am a complete zombie. It's like that's the choice I have to make. I'm hating feeling like two separate people..

I was really looking forward to coming home from uni for christmas but it's been a complete let-down because all my friends have been bonding while i've been away and are saying and doing things to try and get a reaction from me. For example inviting me to a girls night in and telling me that we all have to go and collect lots of take-aways and junk food and eat them all night... and i'm not stupid, I know they just wanted to see my expression.

Edit: oh and my relationship is pretty much over because I want to cry when he or anyone so much as hugs or touches me.
Retreating into my bubble :popout:
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 2467
Hi :smile: I'm just adding myself onto your thread.

Erm, does anyone have any advice on weighing yourself? I haven't for years (the things I did were centred around weighing 'good' and 'bad' numbers, so I've avoided it). But I'm a bit better now and I want to sort out my health. I know that to do this, I need to weigh myself and look at how much I'm eating and see if it's enough/too much, but I'm too scared to do it because I know that I'll weigh more than I did when I was 14 (I'm 18 now), and I'm not in a particularly good mental state at the moment anyway, and I don't want something as little as weighing myself to push me over the edge. But also, I want to sort out my body and make it healthier and things, and tbh, I'd really like to weigh myself, just.. well, just to know that I can.

So, erm, any advice? :smile:
I need help, I really need help. I thought I was fine, till one little comment and BAM it starts again.
Original post by ZZ9
Hi :smile: I'm just adding myself onto your thread.

Erm, does anyone have any advice on weighing yourself? I haven't for years (the things I did were centred around weighing 'good' and 'bad' numbers, so I've avoided it). But I'm a bit better now and I want to sort out my health. I know that to do this, I need to weigh myself and look at how much I'm eating and see if it's enough/too much, but I'm too scared to do it because I know that I'll weigh more than I did when I was 14 (I'm 18 now), and I'm not in a particularly good mental state at the moment anyway, and I don't want something as little as weighing myself to push me over the edge. But also, I want to sort out my body and make it healthier and things, and tbh, I'd really like to weigh myself, just.. well, just to know that I can.

So, erm, any advice? :smile:


Weigh once, take the scales away soon after. You like to weigh yourself because you can? You CAN'T.

Wait until you're in a better mental state anyway, you are putting yourself in danger by weighing in the first place. Are you sure you aren't weighing yourself to feed the eating disorder? What exactly would you do with the information if you had your weight? If you are surviving so long why do you need your weight to prove it?

Food for thought. (Punning it up man, yeh)

Original post by squiff93
I need help, I really need help. I thought I was fine, till one little comment and BAM it starts again.


Squiff, please give us something to work with here. :frown:

What triggered you?

Be careful, we know that alcohol sets you off. Be careful....
Reply 2470
I've never posted here before, but what the heck.
I'm 15, and a recovering bulimic. I'm 5'0'' and weight about 37 kgs. I feel fat ALL the time, but am trying to push that out of my mind. I'm on holiday in Paris right now, and have only puked twice. Which isn't much of an accomplishment, seeing as before coming here I had only purged once in about 3 months. But I miss the feeling of being empty, of having a sore throat.
More than anything, I want to exist solely on black coffee and cigarettes and I don't think my shrink will be able to help me. At all. I also have mild anxiety disorder.
Sorry to rant.
Original post by xAditi
I've never posted here before, but what the heck.
I'm 15, and a recovering bulimic. I'm 5'0'' and weight about 37 kgs. I feel fat ALL the time, but am trying to push that out of my mind. I'm on holiday in Paris right now, and have only puked twice. Which isn't much of an accomplishment, seeing as before coming here I had only purged once in about 3 months. But I miss the feeling of being empty, of having a sore throat.
More than anything, I want to exist solely on black coffee and cigarettes and I don't think my shrink will be able to help me. At all. I also have mild anxiety disorder.
Sorry to rant.


-hugging-. Babes 37kg is tiiny, thats not even 6 stone. You could have purged every day, and you haven't, so yes, it is an achievement. Lots of coffee + anxiety = bad times. I've consumed a can of relentless before a mock speaking exam. I didnt feel like I was in my own body, which was fun - not.
Original post by Antiaris
Weigh once, take the scales away soon after. You like to weigh yourself because you can? You CAN'T.

Wait until you're in a better mental state anyway, you are putting yourself in danger by weighing in the first place. Are you sure you aren't weighing yourself to feed the eating disorder? What exactly would you do with the information if you had your weight? If you are surviving so long why do you need your weight to prove it?

Food for thought. (Punning it up man, yeh)



Squiff, please give us something to work with here. :frown:

What triggered you?

Be careful, we know that alcohol sets you off. Be careful....


My nan came round and made a comment about my face getting podgy, saying i should lose weight around my face. My mum went mad and I obviously refused to eat.

Spoiler

Reply 2473
Original post by Antiaris
Weigh once, take the scales away soon after. You like to weigh yourself because you can? You CAN'T.

Wait until you're in a better mental state anyway, you are putting yourself in danger by weighing in the first place. Are you sure you aren't weighing yourself to feed the eating disorder? What exactly would you do with the information if you had your weight? If you are surviving so long why do you need your weight to prove it?

Food for thought. (Punning it up man, yeh)


I don't think that would work- unless I destroyed them, I'd just weigh myself again. I've thought about using the 20p scales in the Doctor's, but they're not in a busy area, and I could just go back and back :frown:

I'm not really sure why I want to. Tbh, it's probably because there are lots of things going on right now and I want to be in control of something (oh my, a rare moment of clarity :tongue:), but I would also like to be healthier and things. I need my weight to prove it because I like knowing numbers and things. Also, I don't knoe. I know it would hurt me at the moment (I've gained weight over Christmas) but really, I want to hurt myself. I've been abstaining from self harm and things, and **** it, I want to hurt myself. But that's not really a good reason, is it. Hmm.

That was a longer response than I'd planned :tongue:
Reply 2474
Original post by .snowflake.
-hugging-. Babes 37kg is tiiny, thats not even 6 stone. You could have purged every day, and you haven't, so yes, it is an achievement. Lots of coffee + anxiety = bad times. I've consumed a can of relentless before a mock speaking exam. I didnt feel like I was in my own body, which was fun - not.


Not so tiny, with my height! Thank you:smile:
Been there. Try going to school on 200ml of hard liquor because your parents discovered your ed. Not. Cool. At all. I lived on black coffee and vomit for like 2 months. Life is hard.
Original post by ZZ9
I don't think that would work- unless I destroyed them, I'd just weigh myself again. I've thought about using the 20p scales in the Doctor's, but they're not in a busy area, and I could just go back and back :frown:

I'm not really sure why I want to. Tbh, it's probably because there are lots of things going on right now and I want to be in control of something (oh my, a rare moment of clarity :tongue:), but I would also like to be healthier and things. I need my weight to prove it because I like knowing numbers and things. Also, I don't knoe. I know it would hurt me at the moment (I've gained weight over Christmas) but really, I want to hurt myself. I've been abstaining from self harm and things, and **** it, I want to hurt myself. But that's not really a good reason, is it. Hmm.

That was a longer response than I'd planned :tongue:


Then I think you have answered your own question about what to do.

Don't weigh yourself. All it would do is cause harm.

@Squiff; You've mentioned your grandmother a few times if I remember. She sounds kinda... like a horrible person. I would say no offence, but there is no way for that to be non-offensive.

Do you feel you need to prove something to her?
To prove her right?
Because by trying to lose weight you are just doing exactly what she wants.
Reply 2476
Original post by squiff93
My nan came round and made a comment about my face getting podgy, saying i should lose weight around my face. My mum went mad and I obviously refused to eat.

Spoiler




Your nan is horrid. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. One time, this girl who sat next to me in IGCSE-2 and is tall and skinny like a stick but fairly ugly said I was fat and that was my main motivation to stop eating. I used to write all over my hands "you're an ugly whore you don't deserve food you have to starve, disappear" and my target weight and how far I was from it. I understand the desire you feel to SHOW HER, but don't. You'll lose control, and it isn't worth it.
Original post by Antiaris
Then I think you have answered your own question about what to do.

Don't weigh yourself. All it would do is cause harm.

@Squiff; You've mentioned your grandmother a few times if I remember. She sounds kinda... like a horrible person. I would say no offence, but there is no way for that to be non-offensive.

Do you feel you need to prove something to her?
To prove her right?
Because by trying to lose weight you are just doing exactly what she wants.


Hmm i just think that if i lose a lot of weight again it'll prove that i didn't need to and that she was wrong in what she said. Maybe i'm using it as an excuse to be how i used to be, I'm not sure.
Original post by xAditi
Your nan is horrid. I'm sorry, but it's the truth. One time, this girl who sat next to me in IGCSE-2 and is tall and skinny like a stick but fairly ugly said I was fat and that was my main motivation to stop eating. I used to write all over my hands &quot;you're an ugly whore you don't deserve food you have to starve, disappear&quot; and my target weight and how far I was from it. I understand the desire you feel to SHOW HER, but don't. You'll lose control, and it isn't worth it.


She's made me feel so conscious and horrid though, so like you said, it's motivation. I want to write a reply saying that i'm not going to restrict again and i'm not going to let her get to me, but i can't i think it would be a lie. sorry
Reply 2478
Original post by squiff93


She's made me feel so conscious and horrid though, so like you said, it's motivation. I want to write a reply saying that i'm not going to restrict again and i'm not going to let her get to me, but i can't i think it would be a lie. sorry


Don't apologize to me, hon. You're hurting yourself. I can't even believe I'M saying this, because I'm actually on your side of the fence. I've spent the past day discussing how gross I am with my best friend and he just goes "don't bother starving, it's just genetics, and you aren't that fat" and I'm just like ****ing hell you aren't helping.
Reply 2479
Original post by Cinamon
Toto - you know that you won't have actually gained 4lb's.... your body will definitely have retained a lot of water from the christmas goodies. I'm glad to hear you aren't going to over-exercise... and don't restrict to compensate either matey :wink:


I don't know why I'm going to use the word "Sadly", but Sadly, the weight stayed on me; sodium/water bloat usually subsides within a few days.

I reckon my body's just had a panic mad-grab at those calories and just super-converted 4lbs in one day just to teach me a lesson!! Haha.

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