Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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Im sorry to write on here, and i should really start a new thread, but i really need some advice.
Ive lived with a lovely, beautiful girl suffering with anorexia last year, and this year another close friend has been suffering.
She has got very thin and gone from size 14 to size 8 and shes about 5'8.
She exercises alot, and feels the need to work off everything and more.
She says she doesnt care about weight its more about how she looks in the mirror.
She only eats salad, veg and fruit.
Im not sure if she skips meals, but i know if she slipped up and ate a chocolate bar if she didnt have time to work it off she would have no qualms about skipping food to compensate.
she claims to still eat three meals a day, but as i say tiny portions of fruit veg or salad.
she buys alot of food but its all in her cupboard.
shes SO moody all the time and snappy.
Shes fainted on more than one occasion out of the blue.
She hasnt had a period for months and months.
what do i do. what do i say. she wont listen to anyone around her who love her. i just want her to be safe and healthy shes such an amazing person but shes hurting herself.
im not sure if shes annorexic, or just has a varient of an eating dissorder? or what.
but i feel like theres nothing i can do.
she has to want to help herself. and at the moment she doesnt.
i would just never forgive myself if something happened.
thank you
Ive lived with a lovely, beautiful girl suffering with anorexia last year, and this year another close friend has been suffering.
She has got very thin and gone from size 14 to size 8 and shes about 5'8.
She exercises alot, and feels the need to work off everything and more.
She says she doesnt care about weight its more about how she looks in the mirror.
She only eats salad, veg and fruit.
Im not sure if she skips meals, but i know if she slipped up and ate a chocolate bar if she didnt have time to work it off she would have no qualms about skipping food to compensate.
she claims to still eat three meals a day, but as i say tiny portions of fruit veg or salad.
she buys alot of food but its all in her cupboard.
shes SO moody all the time and snappy.
Shes fainted on more than one occasion out of the blue.
She hasnt had a period for months and months.
what do i do. what do i say. she wont listen to anyone around her who love her. i just want her to be safe and healthy shes such an amazing person but shes hurting herself.
im not sure if shes annorexic, or just has a varient of an eating dissorder? or what.
but i feel like theres nothing i can do.
she has to want to help herself. and at the moment she doesnt.
i would just never forgive myself if something happened.
thank you
Original post by xAditi
Don't apologize to me, hon. You're hurting yourself. I can't even believe I'M saying this, because I'm actually on your side of the fence. I've spent the past day discussing how gross I am with my best friend and he just goes "don't bother starving, it's just genetics, and you aren't that fat" and I'm just like ****ing hell you aren't helping.
Awh well if you ever want to talk about stuff i'll support you. And your saying it because it's much easier to know the 'right' thing to do than to actually do it. Other people can be so insensitive and often say the wrong things, even when they have the best intentions at heart.
I feel like such a phoney for being on this thread, i'm no longer underweight, nor do i make myself sick. But I have issues with my body, self esteem and food which all seem to have flooded back
Original post by squiff93
Awh well if you ever want to talk about stuff i'll support you. And your saying it because it's much easier to know the 'right' thing to do than to actually do it. Other people can be so insensitive and often say the wrong things, even when they have the best intentions at heart.
I feel like such a phoney for being on this thread, i'm no longer underweight, nor do i make myself sick. But I have issues with my body, self esteem and food which all seem to have flooded back
I feel like such a phoney for being on this thread, i'm no longer underweight, nor do i make myself sick. But I have issues with my body, self esteem and food which all seem to have flooded back
That'd be great. I honestly feel like people don't get it. Every time I make a comment about how I look they'll just be like "shut up, you're fine," and I'm like no, I'm not.
Yes, he does have good intentions. He makes me eat whenever we're together, but he never says I shouldn't purge or starve or cut. When he saw that I was cutting again, all he said was "don't, it'll make you uglier" and I get that it was a joke, I just didn't find it very funny. He's the only guy who has seen me naked and he DOES say that I'm not fat but he never says that I'm thin. As a result of which I don't think I am. The problem is, I'm so focused on his approval, and I'm never going to get it.
Yeah, I don't think I'm underweight either. 5'0'' and 37kgs is normal, I believe. I don't purge much anymore, or starve. But I have no self esteem what so ever. Which seems pathetic, given the seriousness of the issues some people are dealing with.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by xAditi
That'd be great. I honestly feel like people don't get it. Every time I make a comment about how I look they'll just be like "shut up, you're fine," and I'm like no, I'm not.
Yes, he does have good intentions. He makes me eat whenever we're together, but he never says I shouldn't purge or starve or cut. When he saw that I was cutting again, all he said was "don't, it'll make you uglier" and I get that it was a joke, I just didn't find it very funny. He's the only guy who has seen me naked and he DOES say that I'm not fat but he never says that I'm thin. As a result of which I don't think I am. The problem is, I'm so focused on his approval, and I'm never going to get it.
Yeah, I don't think I'm underweight either. 5'0'' and 37kgs is normal, I believe. I don't purge much anymore, or starve. But I have no self esteem what so ever. Which seems pathetic, given the seriousness of the issues some people are dealing with.
Yes, he does have good intentions. He makes me eat whenever we're together, but he never says I shouldn't purge or starve or cut. When he saw that I was cutting again, all he said was "don't, it'll make you uglier" and I get that it was a joke, I just didn't find it very funny. He's the only guy who has seen me naked and he DOES say that I'm not fat but he never says that I'm thin. As a result of which I don't think I am. The problem is, I'm so focused on his approval, and I'm never going to get it.
Yeah, I don't think I'm underweight either. 5'0'' and 37kgs is normal, I believe. I don't purge much anymore, or starve. But I have no self esteem what so ever. Which seems pathetic, given the seriousness of the issues some people are dealing with.
Your weight isn't actually normal, eventhough you aren't tall you are actually underweight. Therefore you can in no way shape or form look fat, realistically you must look thin!
Don't focus on his approval it is what you think of yourself that really counts, and to be honest that shouldn't all be down to appearance, especially not a number on a stupid stupid scale!
I discharged myself from the ED services, and personally think i coped pretty well alone. Unfortunately now i can see myself slipping back into my old ways, this sounds silly but i want to restrict and restrict till i get to the weight i was and till i feel adequate enough to ask for help again.
Original post by squiff93
Your weight isn't actually normal, eventhough you aren't tall you are actually underweight. Therefore you can in no way shape or form look fat, realistically you must look thin!
Don't focus on his approval it is what you think of yourself that really counts, and to be honest that shouldn't all be down to appearance, especially not a number on a stupid stupid scale!
I discharged myself from the ED services, and personally think i coped pretty well alone. Unfortunately now i can see myself slipping back into my old ways, this sounds silly but i want to restrict and restrict till i get to the weight i was and till i feel adequate enough to ask for help again.
Don't focus on his approval it is what you think of yourself that really counts, and to be honest that shouldn't all be down to appearance, especially not a number on a stupid stupid scale!
I discharged myself from the ED services, and personally think i coped pretty well alone. Unfortunately now i can see myself slipping back into my old ways, this sounds silly but i want to restrict and restrict till i get to the weight i was and till i feel adequate enough to ask for help again.
You're right, the only problem is I think horridly of myself unless he thinks otherwise. Which is stupid. But that's the issue.
In theory, it shouldn't. But in practice? My target weight was 35kgs, but I'm close to that now and it seems to high. I want to be 30. But if I ever get there, I know I'll want to be 25. And so on, until I disappear. It's a cruel cycle.
I know what you mean. I actually like feeling vulnerable, getting dizzy, snappy, being hungry...
We need to snap out of this!
Original post by xAditi
Not so tiny, with my height! Thank you
Been there. Try going to school on 200ml of hard liquor because your parents discovered your ed. Not. Cool. At all. I lived on black coffee and vomit for like 2 months. Life is hard.
Been there. Try going to school on 200ml of hard liquor because your parents discovered your ed. Not. Cool. At all. I lived on black coffee and vomit for like 2 months. Life is hard.
I've done an entire day at school and x country on half a yoghurt, but I've never tried it drunk...
Original post by squiff93
Hmm i just think that if i lose a lot of weight again it'll prove that i didn't need to and that she was wrong in what she said. Maybe i'm using it as an excuse to be how i used to be, I'm not sure.
She's made me feel so conscious and horrid though, so like you said, it's motivation. I want to write a reply saying that i'm not going to restrict again and i'm not going to let her get to me, but i can't i think it would be a lie. sorry
She's made me feel so conscious and horrid though, so like you said, it's motivation. I want to write a reply saying that i'm not going to restrict again and i'm not going to let her get to me, but i can't i think it would be a lie. sorry
Atleast its not just me who restricts to prove a point. Always fun when you're spending 12 hours out and about, do a huge amount of walking and all you've consumed all day is a coffee, because the night previously sir basically had a go because you couldn't finish your meal was fun. Nearly passed out whilst in one of the museums, had i actually done it, atleast two of our group wouldnt've though twice about dobbing me in..
Edit: Squiffy, don't go and get rat arsed to make you feel better, it doesnt work, and we end up with you posting 'I ****ing hate myshelf, if i were to die now noone would be bothered' and so on.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by .snowflake.
I've done an entire day at school and x country on half a yoghurt, but I've never tried it drunk...
Don't try it. I've gone three days on just water. That's my record. Quite pathetic :P
Original post by xAditi
Yeah, I don't think I'm underweight either. 5'0'' and 37kgs is normal, I believe.
It's not - it's a BMI of less than 16. You're severely underweight.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
Original post by Anonymous
It's not - it's a BMI of less than 16. You're severely underweight.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
But I'm 15 and have tiny breasts! Shouldn't that be factored in? I'm not skinny or bony physically at all.
Original post by Anonymous
It's not - it's a BMI of less than 16. You're severely underweight.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
Also, according to this calculator: http://kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/dieting/bmi.html
I'm in the 6th percentile, 1% above being minorly underweight.
Original post by .snowflake.
I've done an entire day at school and x country on half a yoghurt, but I've never tried it drunk...
Atleast its not just me who restricts to prove a point. Always fun when you're spending 12 hours out and about, do a huge amount of walking and all you've consumed all day is a coffee, because the night previously sir basically had a go because you couldn't finish your meal was fun. Nearly passed out whilst in one of the museums, had i actually done it, atleast two of our group wouldnt've though twice about dobbing me in..
Edit: Squiffy, don't go and get rat arsed to make you feel better, it doesnt work, and we end up with you posting 'I ****ing hate myshelf, if i were to die now noone would be bothered' and so on.
Atleast its not just me who restricts to prove a point. Always fun when you're spending 12 hours out and about, do a huge amount of walking and all you've consumed all day is a coffee, because the night previously sir basically had a go because you couldn't finish your meal was fun. Nearly passed out whilst in one of the museums, had i actually done it, atleast two of our group wouldnt've though twice about dobbing me in..
Edit: Squiffy, don't go and get rat arsed to make you feel better, it doesnt work, and we end up with you posting 'I ****ing hate myshelf, if i were to die now noone would be bothered' and so on.
what the actual ****. Since when did i last post on here drunk, erm i think that was a while ago. don't talk to me like i'm a ****ing alcoholic yeah. i have no intentions of getting erm quote rat arsed and ranting on here. actually i had no intentions of ranting, it's an advice thread, i needed some.
Original post by Anonymous
It's not - it's a BMI of less than 16. You're severely underweight.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
Shes not yet an adult and has size 4 feet, she not naturally going to be 5 foot nowt and 9 stone.
Original post by Anonymous
It's not - it's a BMI of less than 16. You're severely underweight.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
Also to the last few posters - this isn't a game of "look how much I did on so little food" - those who win the game are the ones who lose in real life.
I hope you weren't refering to me, I just wanted help. My minds a mess and i'm torn between what i want and what i think i want. I'm just confused. Sorry if it came across wrong
Original post by xAditi
But I'm 15 and have tiny breasts! Shouldn't that be factored in? I'm not skinny or bony physically at all.
Admittedly BMI is less reliable for children and adolescents, but according to this you're still in less than the 5th percentile. Meaning that you're within the skinniest 5% of 15 year old girls. That's underweight.
Original post by squiff93
I hope you weren't refering to me, I just wanted help. My minds a mess and i'm torn between what i want and what i think i want. I'm just confused. Sorry if it came across wrong
Yes. I'm just trying to get my thoughts straight.
Original post by Anonymous
Admittedly BMI is less reliable for children and adolescents, but according to this you're still in less than the 5th percentile. Meaning that you're within the skinniest 5% of 15 year old girls. That's underweight.
That's impossible. My bones should be protruding in that case!
I want to get this thread back on track. No offence xAditi but your tone is somewhat pro-ana with some of your comments. You shouldn't be proud of sticking-out bones whatsoever nor use them as an indication of a massive mental disorder.
I have a belly but I have an eating disorder and I am very underweight.
Fat is no indication of a massive underlying issue and you should understand you have a large problem, probably moreso than many on here.
Why? We have accepted we have big issues. You still kid yourself.
The bubble is powerful but not impenetrable.
I have a belly but I have an eating disorder and I am very underweight.
Fat is no indication of a massive underlying issue and you should understand you have a large problem, probably moreso than many on here.
Why? We have accepted we have big issues. You still kid yourself.
The bubble is powerful but not impenetrable.
What the fudge monkering hell happened to this thread?
Leave for a couple of minutes and it looks like bedlam has set in.
Please people. Logic.
@xAditi; You sought out this thread, meaning you had your suspicions about having an eating disorder and/or are severely underweight. We have confirmed these suspicions. All that is left is for you to take this on board. If you want advice, we are here to help.
Bones protrude sometimes without us noticing. Don't forget that you are looking at you from a different perspective. Also you'd have tiny breasts due to having a low weight, not vice versa.
@Snowflake and Squiff; Please, don't bicker. It serves no purpose other than to exasperate and infuriate. What was is what was. We live in the present, work on the future and learn from the past.
@All; Comparing how bad your eating disorders get? Seriously? We USED to use spoiler tags for this sort of thing. Triggering.
This thing about how bad you all got, here that? Silence? Yup, that's me not caring. It isn't about what was but about getting better.
One of the most common issues with the eating disordered is perfectionism and competitiveness. Something to prove. Whether it is something to prove to yourself or to somebody else, it still becomes self destructive
Leave for a couple of minutes and it looks like bedlam has set in.
Please people. Logic.
@xAditi; You sought out this thread, meaning you had your suspicions about having an eating disorder and/or are severely underweight. We have confirmed these suspicions. All that is left is for you to take this on board. If you want advice, we are here to help.
Bones protrude sometimes without us noticing. Don't forget that you are looking at you from a different perspective. Also you'd have tiny breasts due to having a low weight, not vice versa.
@Snowflake and Squiff; Please, don't bicker. It serves no purpose other than to exasperate and infuriate. What was is what was. We live in the present, work on the future and learn from the past.
@All; Comparing how bad your eating disorders get? Seriously? We USED to use spoiler tags for this sort of thing. Triggering.
This thing about how bad you all got, here that? Silence? Yup, that's me not caring. It isn't about what was but about getting better.
One of the most common issues with the eating disordered is perfectionism and competitiveness. Something to prove. Whether it is something to prove to yourself or to somebody else, it still becomes self destructive
Original post by Antiaris
What the fudge monkering hell happened to this thread?
Leave for a couple of minutes and it looks like bedlam has set in.
Please people. Logic.
@xAditi; You sought out this thread, meaning you had your suspicions about having an eating disorder and/or are severely underweight. We have confirmed these suspicions. All that is left is for you to take this on board. If you want advice, we are here to help.
Bones protrude sometimes without us noticing. Don't forget that you are looking at you from a different perspective. Also you'd have tiny breasts due to having a low weight, not vice versa.
@Snowflake and Squiff; Please, don't bicker. It serves no purpose other than to exasperate and infuriate. What was is what was. We live in the present, work on the future and learn from the past.
@All; Comparing how bad your eating disorders get? Seriously? We USED to use spoiler tags for this sort of thing. Triggering.
This thing about how bad you all got, here that? Silence? Yup, that's me not caring. It isn't about what was but about getting better.
One of the most common issues with the eating disordered is perfectionism and competitiveness. Something to prove. Whether it is something to prove to yourself or to somebody else, it still becomes self destructive
Leave for a couple of minutes and it looks like bedlam has set in.
Please people. Logic.
@xAditi; You sought out this thread, meaning you had your suspicions about having an eating disorder and/or are severely underweight. We have confirmed these suspicions. All that is left is for you to take this on board. If you want advice, we are here to help.
Bones protrude sometimes without us noticing. Don't forget that you are looking at you from a different perspective. Also you'd have tiny breasts due to having a low weight, not vice versa.
@Snowflake and Squiff; Please, don't bicker. It serves no purpose other than to exasperate and infuriate. What was is what was. We live in the present, work on the future and learn from the past.
@All; Comparing how bad your eating disorders get? Seriously? We USED to use spoiler tags for this sort of thing. Triggering.
This thing about how bad you all got, here that? Silence? Yup, that's me not caring. It isn't about what was but about getting better.
One of the most common issues with the eating disordered is perfectionism and competitiveness. Something to prove. Whether it is something to prove to yourself or to somebody else, it still becomes self destructive
Sorry
wasn't trying to emphasize my disorder to be honest or compare my habits with anyone else. As for the argueing thing, I know how petty it sounds but I'm literally too angry at that comment, it was just plain rude. Especially since I sorted myself out a lot from those days, A LOT. I simply came to this thread for advice, support from people who understand, not to be labled as a rampent drunk.
Antiaris, once again, the most effective mediator. I try to be the voice of reason but Antiaris prevails.
Comparisons are ridiculous because no person is the same. Should I really be in competition with a girl a foot shorter than me?!
Christ no.
Numbers mean nothing, but I am a slave to them. THAT'S the disorder.
And you too, should recognise that.
Comparisons are ridiculous because no person is the same. Should I really be in competition with a girl a foot shorter than me?!
Christ no.
Numbers mean nothing, but I am a slave to them. THAT'S the disorder.
And you too, should recognise that.
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