The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Thanks for the advice Thank you for the welcome as well, its nice to know the0eir are people out there who understand! So far I just haven't said anything to her... i'm not sure she has even noticed I am offended! The thing is, back to your point about spending time with her, as a house we spend an awful lot of time together. We are all really close friends and have lived together for 3 years now... we do stuff together on an almost daily basis, even if it is jsut crashing in front of the TV, or cooking a sunday roast etc, so I feel she's pretty unjustified to make out we are spending no time together!

hmm....oh well, i'll probably let it slide I don't like confrontation lol.

Well me and my boyfriend have had a very messy break up so I'm no longer in a LDR. Fun times. :/

Has anyone else had a relationship that's gotten less long distance and if so how did that work out?
Because my boyfriend lived in the same town as me, then had to move to Belgium. We started officially going out while he was living there and it worked out fine, I missed him like crazy but he came back quite often and I visited him a couple of times, except now he's back in England but he's off in wiltshire while I'm still in cambs and it's gotten kinda weird. It's like it was fine while we were in different countries but now it's only a couple of counties in the way ... idk.

I've not been there, but maybe it's that when you're much further away you can cope better because you have it in your head that you can't really see each other that often, but when you're closer you feel the distance more, because it feels like you should be seeing each other now it's easier, but aren't?

Is it normal to feel this much doubt about my boyfriend?

Particularly when I'm away from him, I spend a lot of time wondering if he's the right person. I started seeing him 5 weeks after I broke up with my first boyfriend, and while I considered myself over it, meeting him was so unexpected and it all went too fast. Now I feel like we're missing something important, and I don't know what, but I wish we'd taken it slower at the beginning.

We're coming up to our first anniversary together, and I still feel like in some ways I barely know him. I don't want to say, the 'spark' is missing, because that was the reason I fell for him. We never argue, he spoils me rotten, and he's patient with all my crazy demands and mood swings. He's fun, good-looking, mature, responsible, has a good job, everything I could want. He's only messed up once, and I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and he's never done anything wrong again. Why do I doubt him so much?

Going back to Uni this weekend, and just thinking about having to say goodbye to him again makes me feel absolutely heartbroken.
Really fed up of feeling so rotten all of the time we're apart

I've been with my boyfriend for eight months, long distance since September, and he's become progressively more jealous and possessive and I feel it's starting to drive me away. We've discussed this before and he admitted he knew he was being irrational and said he'd be better, but he only temporarily improved. Is it worth bringing it up again? Or should I call it quits? My ex was like this so I know how bad it can get, and alarm bells are ringing...

I've not been there, but maybe it's that when you're much further away you can cope better because you have it in your head that you can't really see each other that often, but when you're closer you feel the distance more, because it feels like you should be seeing each other now it's easier, but aren't?

My boyfriend went home yesterday too! Tonight was my first night without him again.

I knew 12 days were going to go quickly, but after waiting 12 weeks it's so frustrating to have to start all over again. At least I'm glad we had a good time over Christmas together. He slept in my hoodie for a night and it still smells of him....

Don't want to go back to being in an international LDR again I really cant deal with it right now!

Don't want to go back to being in an international LDR again I really cant deal with it right now!

Yeah, I empathise with the 'starting over' feeling *hugs*. Hope you're feeling better now, I sort of am. It was actually a bit easier than last time because I was straight back into it, but at the same time during my 'downtime' I've found myself very tired/lethargic and a bit depressed, probably 'cuz I haven't got it out of my system as effectively.

I was going to go on a day out tomorrow (just me, not in a group) to see a new town and keep myself busy, but now I'm feeling like I can't be bothered getting up at 6am and I'd much rather just lie in bed all day and be pathetic...but I did that on Wednesday =/

Yeah, I empathise with the 'starting over' feeling *hugs*. Hope you're feeling better now, I sort of am. It was actually a bit easier than last time because I was straight back into it, but at the same time during my 'downtime' I've found myself very tired/lethargic and a bit depressed, probably 'cuz I haven't got it out of my system as effectively.

I was going to go on a day out tomorrow (just me, not in a group) to see a new town and keep myself busy, but now I'm feeling like I can't be bothered getting up at 6am and I'd much rather just lie in bed all day and be pathetic...but I did that on Wednesday =/

Well me and my boyfriend have had a very messy break up so I'm no longer in a LDR. Fun times. :/

Oooh, you're an ELA in France! I've applied for that, reallyyyy hoping I get it definitely not looking forward to the stress and separation it will impose on my relationship if I do, though.

Thanks I am feeling better since I made that post. It's so much more difficult to keep myself busy at the moment though, because the weather is terrible and the snow keeps me from going far. I'm just stuck in the mountains. I also feel like I've already run out of things to do here, it's the same thing every weekend and I'm drinking all the time just because I'm bored. It doesn't feel healthy.

I wish I could travel more, but we never get the time off, and the city isn't very well connected, so travelling anywhere other than Kansai or Tokyo requires a whole day of travel and a lot of money. I'm so frustrated! Why couldn't they have placed me somewhere like Osaka!

Definitely go and do your day out, or you'll be sitting around annoyed the whole day that you didn't go! Invite a few friends if it helps.

Awesome! Well, you should get it, most people do, you'd have to be pretty unlucky not to.

Well no, it's not easy but France is a lot closer than a lot of places - I initially applied for Quebec but pretty glad I didn't get that now!
The only annoying thing about being in the South is it does make it harder to 'nip over' for a weekend say - the Eurostar only comes down here in the summer so I'd either have to fork out to get to Paris which takes beaucoup de time and money, and working Fridays + beng in the countryside means I can't really get to a big airport without wasting too much time in transit.
BUT it's only a 7 month contract and basically you get there and have a 2 week holiday just after you start, then another two weeks for christmas, then at the end of february and then again in april and then you're done before May!
Where have you put down as your 3 choices?

Yeah, I appreciate the difficulty getting to 'new' places. Most people I know work a 3 day week max, my roomie does 2 days, but because I'm at so many schools it was hard to co-ordinate so I have to work Fridays which really limits how far I can get over a weekend - I've visited all the nearby Southern towns now and I wanna travel further afield but taking into account the 3/4 hour journeys each way and the cost, it's silly to go for what becomes half a day. Basically, I wanna car!

I ended up compromising, I realised I'd never been to look in Nimes properly and I ought to, given that the last time I ended up stuck there in the station I was in a terrible, terrible mood. Instead of spending hours on the train, it's about 45 minutes not including the connexions and I didn't have to get up til much later, score

If you can't get very far, go local, join an evening class of some sort, just something random, to get out and meet people?