The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Amorrrr! (Darling, for the uninitiated)

Chin up, you will deal with it, even if it seems otherwise right now!

one of the best things about this thread, is it makes me feel better. You strong folk out there are dealing internationally, who am i to complain so bitterly about a couple hundred miles?? Thanks for the reality check and helping me see i'm not alone and there are folk to talk to Stay strong <3

So, dealing with a relationship that's between America (Florida) and UK/France? About 6 hours difference max. Skype everyday, and iMessage everyday... apart from that, I'm going to use most of my free weeks to visit home and my sweetheart, hopefully. Sound like a sound idea?

In my opinion, it's not the distance it's the people that counts. Of course, a good relationship can be strained by the miles, I'm not saying it isn't. However I compare myself to my roommate.
She's American and she broke things off reluctantly with her boyfriend before coming to France (obviously it is much further than UK/France) they're still really close and he even came to visit her last week! But she had been to France before and tried LDR and apparently it was too hard so she didn't want to try again.
Me, on the other hand, I miss him terribly but we take it in our stride, don't get (too) wound up about the little things and are closer as a result. I think it's actually making me MORE relaxed about the relationship

Basically my point is, if you both think you can make it work, you will. But you have to adapt - yourself and the relationship - to the new circumstances. Don't keep expecting the same old same old.

That's great! I could do with a car too. I even applied for a driving permit before I left but the AA lost it.

I'm about 4/5 hours from Osaka, Kyoto, and Nagoya, and they are the nearest big towns. Japan is a lot bigger than it looks on the map! There are other smaller towns nearby, but a lot of the transport to points of interest is closed off because of the snow. It's driving me crazy!

The university has societies, but you can't join in the middle of the year (The academic year starts in April over here) so another thing that I can't do for a while yet. I really don't mean to moan but it's so frustrating!

I get 7 weeks off in Feb and March, so I'm focusing on that now. Hopefully I'll be doing some travelling to Hiroshima and Kyushu, as well as a visit home, and my first visit to Tokyo to meet up with a Japanese friend!

Thanks for the info! I'd been wondering about how competitive it is for ages, since I don't know anyone that's done it and the website/Facebook page give no indication, so that's reassuring. I'm not doing it as a year abroad thing, so I won't get that priority, but I did get an A in my French A Level, have some experience with kids and got a good uni reference, so fingers crossed.

I haven't actually put any area choices down. I put that I wanted to live in an urban/town area and work at primary level, but that's it. I've been considering phoning the British Council and asking them if they'll add areas to my application, though, because I keep having nightmarish thoughts about ending up in outre-mer or in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere or something, which is not what I want at all >.< I reeeeeally love the idea of Paris but it sounds like it's very hard to find feasible accommodation there and the costs would be a nightmare. Argh. Did you get your first choice?

Oooh, that's daring! Well, I didn't put down area choices until March/April because I put Quebec down originally and it was only when I wasn't successful there that they asked me where I wanted to put down. I don't think they actually start properly going through applications til around March anyway, because they have to deal with interviews for certain countries first. So, potentially maybe yeah you could. Daniel Lovelock is probably the guy you need to email.
You probably won't be outre-mer or in Paris, because these are really highly competitive places, loads of people go for them. Which did you put first in your 'order of preference'? town size or school age? If the former, you're probably more likely to end up in a good sized town. I put school age first and although I'm not quite in the tiniest village, I am somewhere pretty small in the countryside, so I commute in from a slightly larger town.
Well, I didn't actually get ANY of my choices! Maybe, in retrospect, it was because I didn't get to choose them until later. I put down Versailles, Poitiers and Bordeaux. I was always tempted towards the south of france, but I didn't choose the Aix-Marseille region because I figured from the info they gave us that I'd never have a chance getting in there! So I was confused but happy to get a place here. Having spoken to a few people, I actually think it's not as popular as I thought - maybe it's because while the big cities by the coast are nice, there's alot of really quiet rural areas that don't appeal so much. I'm not sure.

Anyone else find it hardest just after you've gone away? This is the first time I've gone to uni as his girlfriend, and I feel like I'm coping way worse with the distance than I was at the end of last semester. I'm thinking it's exacerbated by the fact that I'm not quite back into the swing of being without him/in Scotland? Sound normal?

Also, my boyfriend and I don't live close to each other, about 4 hours by train. Could this be classified as LDR?

I think this thread might be good for me! My boyfriend (of 3 years) is in the army, currently posted in Canada. Its our first long-term separation since we've been together, and I'm coping ok at the moment, bit of a pain with the time difference but never mind. I guess I'm just a bit worried cos this is my penultimate term at uni before I graduate, and arguably the most important term of my whole time here! I'm sure I'll be ok but just wondering if anyone has any tips to make it a little easier??

Yes... i tend to classify a LDR as a relationship where due to distance its hard to see each other as much as you want. Sometimes this distance is an hour, sometimes its several thousand miles but either way it makes it harder to see your other half. I'm currently doing spain to England but when we're both at uni it's 3hrs. I still count what i do at uni as LD because i only get to see him once every 2-3 weeks which is obviously not as much as id like.

Anyone else find it hardest just after you've gone away? This is the first time I've gone to uni as his girlfriend, and I feel like I'm coping way worse with the distance than I was at the end of last semester. I'm thinking it's exacerbated by the fact that I'm not quite back into the swing of being without him/in Scotland? Sound normal?

Can anyone give me some advice on how to approach ending a LDR? :/ Is it a massive no no to end something so strong via skype? (we've been going out for more than 2.5 years)

You can't see each other in person to end it? The only advice i can think of is to keep the other person's feelings in mind; you don't want to hurt them more than necessary. And don't apologise, unless you've got a good reason to.