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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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@Toto; You are doing so fudgingly awesome Monsieur Le Toto! Magnifique! Don't worry about weight gin being too fast or too slow or what have you. It happens. To get to where I am now I gained in unregulated spurts (won't mention numbers, hell I'm dealing better with things by not KNOWING numbers.) Shifting clothes sizes is good too, it means an excuse to reinvent how you dress an' all that!



@Riku; sounds like you are in the level 1 service.
Level 1 - General GP work
Level 2 - Counselling
Level 3 - Specialised Support
Level 4 - Hospitalisation
Level 5 - Fed through a tube

You can ask to be upped to a level 2 service, don't ask for level 3. Generally if they are iffy at the moment being upped level by level is a more considered approach. Tell them what you want. Spoke to the leader on the team in my area and apparently GP's are fairly useless in dealing with ED's, she said when moving to a new area just tell them straight up what you want as they won't really understand otherwise.

And don't take recovery as a lent thing! It gives the impression you can do it afterwards or something! Just, breathe. I used to have the, ummmm, vomiting bug too, the entire disengaged feeling, the feeling that something needs to be done in that state. Eat? Generally high on the needs list of people, right? You drift towards something. Food, drink, drugs, your vice.

I've found a couple of things helped like mindfulness meditation. Do this when not in a 'hypno state'. Just close your eyes and concentrate on what is going on inside of you. Watch the images in your mind as they float by. Feeling the air filling your lungs. Don't think about the future, concentrate on experiencing the here and now. I've found it's able to drift into the other areas of life. I've also found doing something that gets out what you are thinking about out of your head helps too before it builds too much. Painting? Writing? Singing?

Your choice.


Personal thing, a little contradictory to what I said but something that reinforces it also;

Spoiler

Reply 2901
Original post by Antiaris
@Toto; You are doing so fudgingly awesome Monsieur Le Toto! Magnifique! Don't worry about weight gin being too fast or too slow or what have you. It happens. To get to where I am now I gained in unregulated spurts (won't mention numbers, hell I'm dealing better with things by not KNOWING numbers.) Shifting clothes sizes is good too, it means an excuse to reinvent how you dress an' all that!



@Riku; sounds like you are in the level 1 service.
Level 1 - General GP work
Level 2 - Counselling
Level 3 - Specialised Support
Level 4 - Hospitalisation
Level 5 - Fed through a tube

You can ask to be upped to a level 2 service, don't ask for level 3. Generally if they are iffy at the moment being upped level by level is a more considered approach. Tell them what you want. Spoke to the leader on the team in my area and apparently GP's are fairly useless in dealing with ED's, she said when moving to a new area just tell them straight up what you want as they won't really understand otherwise.

And don't take recovery as a lent thing! It gives the impression you can do it afterwards or something! Just, breathe. I used to have the, ummmm, vomiting bug too, the entire disengaged feeling, the feeling that something needs to be done in that state. Eat? Generally high on the needs list of people, right? You drift towards something. Food, drink, drugs, your vice.

I've found a couple of things helped like mindfulness meditation. Do this when not in a 'hypno state'. Just close your eyes and concentrate on what is going on inside of you. Watch the images in your mind as they float by. Feeling the air filling your lungs. Don't think about the future, concentrate on experiencing the here and now. I've found it's able to drift into the other areas of life. I've also found doing something that gets out what you are thinking about out of your head helps too before it builds too much. Painting? Writing? Singing?

Your choice.


Personal thing, a little contradictory to what I said but something that reinforces it also;

Spoiler




I might already be in Level 2 as the GP referred me through to a Changing Minds counselling team. But again, not trying to determine the severity and up myself for the sake of it when being low on their priorities must, even if it's uncomfortable, actually be a good sign?
Recovery isn't for Lent, technically it was that I'd give up rumination, procrastination and negative self-talk. I'd give up giving up on myself. I deliberately didn't try to give up behaviours but unsurprisingly working on the others fed into behaviours. Reinforces the whole fact that is so often forgotten that everything has nothing to do with food or numbers really. But that is a very powerful myth to dispel.
The plan is to realise the difference in everything, learn from the whole ordeal and keep it up after. But I did feel I should give something up this time as I haven't actually ever committed to anythig worthwhile.

Meditation is incredibly effective but takes so much practice! Just a few weeks of thinking you can go without it and your mind could startw andering again. Soemthing I ahd to learn to do again was mindfully exercise, meaning not using my iPod as a distraction. Even with walking. Sometimes it's horrible as I'm suddenly so horribly aware of everything going on in my body. But that in itself makes me realise how much my thoughts wander and go off on dangerous tangents so I can bring them back to the now and it becomes a really peaceful experience.
I still don't know exactly what else would take me out of my head. I thought reading but it doesn't, closest would probably be singing, watching comedies and right now guitar. Drums as well but I think it could help to find non-active mindful activities to do.
Totally agree that living life right here in the moment is crucial to overcoming anxiety.

Spoiler

First counselling session today was... horrendous. As normal. I hate it, I feel so crap all the time I'm there and then I come home and feel crap for the rest of the day. However she said something that makes sense... I haven't told anyone at all about my trouble with food but she was saying that I tend to do one of two things when I'm upset and stressed; either I hide away until it's all gone or I'll get destructive and hurt myself in any way possible (SH, smoking, and obviously under eating). So, guess my SH has just been replaced with restriction and fasting...
I'm going to say something happy about recovery (when has that happened?)! I've started developing breasts. I know at nineteen that shouldn't be a big deal but I started my ED during puberty and pretty much killed any development in the chest department. I am ridiculously happy about this. Whenever I see one of my friends who is as flat-chested as I used to be she gets so jealous.
So yeah, weight gain on other areas might be hard for me to take, but I'm finally getting the body I should have had and if that means big boobs then I guess I can handle that.
Supersize vs Superskinny is so effing triggering, but I can't help watching it :frown:
Original post by sophiemay20
Supersize vs Superskinny is so effing triggering, but I can't help watching it :frown:


I'm always like "the superskinny's diet isn't *that* bad... her weight isn't *that* low" and then I have to mentally slap myself.
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
I'm always like "the superskinny's diet isn't *that* bad... her weight isn't *that* low" and then I have to mentally slap myself.


Or, how i was at my worst. 'How the **** am I still this fat? I eat less than her'.
At my worst I was very very mentally screwed up, and displayed all of the symptoms for AN except weight. BTW, on the boobs thing, you can have mine. I hate them.
Original post by LaBelleEtLeBete
I'm always like "the superskinny's diet isn't *that* bad... her weight isn't *that* low" and then I have to mentally slap myself.


:console: So much goes through my head when I watch, it triggers off so many negative emotions.. but I can't switch off!
Original post by sophiemay20
:console: So much goes through my head when I watch, it triggers off so many negative emotions.. but I can't switch off!


it's fun when your mother accuses the girls with ed's as being disgusting
Original post by .snowflake.
.

If that was possible I'd take you up on that! I'm getting strangely obsessed with my chest... I think I'm finally allowing myself to have a 'grown-up' body. (Or else it's 'cause I wasn't breastfed)


Original post by sophiemay20
.


It's like watching a car crash, isn't it? You know you shouldn't but you just can't look away.
IMO these 'diet' and 'healthy living' programmes are more triggering than docs about EDs.
Original post by .snowflake.
it's fun when your mother accuses the girls with ed's as being disgusting


:hugs: times one million
Original post by .snowflake.
it's fun when your mother accuses the girls with ed's as being disgusting


Aw hun, that must have felt so awful for you :frown:
Earlier, when they were listing the physical signs of an ED, I panicked and literally had to run to the living room to check that my family weren't watching.
Original post by sophiemay20
Supersize vs Superskinny is so effing triggering, but I can't help watching it :frown:

Oh I know. My mum called me and she told me to put it on channel 4, and I did, saw the superskinny person and realised what it was and was like 'Oh hell no!' and it took me a whole 10 minutes to turn it off. I agree with LaBelle, it actually triggers me more than any ED documentary or film or whatever. I don't even know why, it just makes me feel awful.

@LaBelle- Feel free to take my boobs too! :tongue:
Original post by diamonddust
x


I wish it were possible! :tongue:
Also, she didn't try to get you to watch it to 'prove a point', did she?
(edited 12 years ago)
Bad program number two to be addicted to - Biggest Loser. It's soul crushing!
I think the worst instance with me was when my sister came into kitchen when I was clearing the dishes (this was pre-big loss, 1 1/2 into the ED anyway) and she began telling me how awful the show was, listing the characteristics of people with ED's. She ended by going, 'Seriously, the stereotype kinda fits you! Lucky you don't have an eating disorder! Ha!"

"Yeh, ha, course. Silly really, ha! Better, you know, scrub the oven..."

I scrubbed that oven for around half an our that night. (My Father cooks food to the point it has broken down into plain hydrocarbons and have begun to form plastics.)
Sorry to change the subject but this thought has just sprung on me... as I'm sitting in bed gorging myself on biscuits as a method of avoiding work :colondollar:

Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous
Sorry to change the subject but this thought has just sprung on me... as I'm sitting in bed gorging myself on biscuits as a method of avoiding work :colondollar:

Spoiler



Aw hun, I'm sorry you feel that way. But I think it's a good sign that you can see things objectively before the ED brain kicks in.
I remember watching a doc about a ED treatment centre in the states where one therapy method shown was to ask the patient to draw a lifesize picture of themself on a huge piece of paper stuck on the wall. And then the therapist actually drew around them onto the picture so they could see exactly how out of line their ED body image was. Do you think doing something like that would be helpful?
studying eating disorders at the moment, every lesson and piece of work feels like a trigger. Have to keep reminding myself not to fall back :/
Original post by sophiemay20
Aw hun, that must have felt so awful for you :frown:
Earlier, when they were listing the physical signs of an ED, I panicked and literally had to run to the living room to check that my family weren't watching.


Yup. Especially when I knew this lass doesnt actually want to be that thin, but doesnt eat so that the voices shut up. She reckons my friend has an ED. She doesnt. You offer her food, she'll eat it, shes just really thin.
Found this ep really triggering. It's not the thin people, its the huge ones which make me feel like 'no, I cant eat, because I'll end up like.. THAT'

Doesnt help when both my little sister and mother are very overweight for their height. I get my sister hand me downs, well things that are bought for her which dont fit. Which is why half my wardrobe completely swamps me/ is a size 16+. And apparently I've got fat pasty thighs. Pot calling kettle bloody black dear! </rant>
(edited 12 years ago)

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