Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Boyfriend wants to join the forces Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter

    Basically, my boyfriends of 2 years has been drifting in a minimum wage job since he got a 2.2 last year. I THINK he is turning to the forces due to a lack of options although he claims he's always wanted to be in them...

    I KNOW for a fact, I wouldn't be able to cope with having a husband in the forces. So what do I do, when do I break it off?

    It's not definite at the moment, but how can I persuade him not to?

    I don't want to do the

    'If you loved me you wouldn't'

    My ex who I was with for 4 years wanted to join and was in the reserves at the time. I'm not with him now so it doesn't bother me as much now that he's just a friend but when we were together I really really hated the idea of him leaving and possibly getting hurt.. It was an awful feeling!
    The reality is you can't do much about it, if it's what he wants to do you wouldn't want to be the person holding him back
    Also if you decide you can't face it and need to end it, be careful of when you do it, a soldier with a broken heart is not good!!

    Why couldn't you have a partner in the forces? Is it a moral objections, or the lifestyle?
    Alright, they're away a lot which is awful, but the forces look after their people and their families. There's a lot of financial help and support amongst other things and it's not too unsociable when they're not on tour.
    Which force is he looking into joining, as that has a lot of impact on what his lifestyle etc will be like.
    My boyfriend is in the RAF and I'm very quickly having to come to terms with the ups and downs of the lifestyle!

    At the end of the day, you've been with him for two years, wouldn't you be prepared to at least give it a try? If not then I'd sit down with him and explain that you don't feel you could stay with him...that you're not cut out for the forces wife role. At the end of the day you want him to choose, and to do that he needs the facts.

    My ex of four years joined the army, unfortunately it was the death of the relationship for us as the long distances around my own life meant we barely had any time to speak on the phone let alone see each other. If he does end up joining the army the only thing you can do is give it a go and hope it works out but don't be surprised if it doesn't. You could always try steering him towards another job?
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply
Updated: March 29, 2012
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Is GoT overrated?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.