not wearing headscarf anymore

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really? my family are quite religeous. as in hold religeous events/ write religeous stuff/ host radios and some asain tv stuff. even though we also host the converse of that too...

so there`s an identity of me, and worse since out of all her children my mum is proud of me the most.

Ah that is difficult. Especially when you're so tied into your community too. It's not nice to do but the best advice I can give you for now is to lie. If you're desperate to take off your hijaab then go for the Quranist approach as that should be reasonable to them as you;re using their own scripture.

If you really have lost your faith, as difficult as it is, you will find a way to someday be honest about it. There numerous ex- Muslims on here, some are open about it with their families, some are not but we all found a way to cope :smile:

And going to uni makes it 10x easier!

Reply 101

My name is URL

Original post by Golden_Boy786

Hey mate, you randomly popped out of nowhere in this convo. lol no offence we all respect your opinion. But lets not get feisty. :fight:

This was an open thread on a forum. Pretty sure people are meant to debate and share opinions?

Reply 102

Ayshizzle

Original post by omgg

it appears that you get most of your knowledge from the internet, rather than the quran itself

Nope I have read the Qur'an numerous times and there is no reference from covering your hair. I told you to go read it on the online Qur'an in English.

Have you even read the Qur'an in a language you understand?

Reply 103

Golden_Boy786

Original post by SarahM94

WAIT
So your join date was November 1999? You're tellin me you were about 7 when you joined Tsr?
Silly twoll

Meh?

Your not being serious are you?

hahaha. shoooosh nobody tell her :tongue:

Reply 104

harmony_01

Original post by Ayshizzle

And going to uni makes it 10x easier!

Do Qur'anists not cover their hair during salaah? :s-smilie:

Are they entirely consistent?

Just curious.

Oh and OP very sensitive topic.

Reply 105

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ayshizzle

yes. i have an english translation (irfan ul quran ) but i (am/was) more of a rumi fan- i like his poetry and his transformation due to shibli.

Original post by SarahM94

WAIT
So your join date was November 1999? You're tellin me you were about 7 when you joined Tsr?
Silly twoll

no thats the date thats written when you post anon.

Original post by Ayshizzle

And going to uni makes it 10x easier!

thanks, but my family also sing asian songs and other stuff too. moderate in alot of ways but they hold them religeous values at heart.

and the hijab quotes- listend to many lectures on the subject. i wont be able to say "mum i dont feel the hijab is right anymore" as there is far too much evidence to support it, plus i had planned to do some religeous look modelling in the summer (i even began designng a whole scarf-wardrobe look) so id lose that argument too. so i would have to admit. im not religeous anymore. i dont believe... :s-smilie:

uni will make it easier, but i still love my family, and regardless of my future i still want to stay close to them.

Reply 106

Ayshizzle

Original post by harmony_01

Do Qur'anists not cover their hair during salaah? :s-smilie:

Are they entirely consistent?

Tbh I'm not entirely sure. I shall have a look and report back :smile:

I just know that they view the hijaab itself as being non- compulsory as it supported by the Hadith and not the Qur'an.

Reply 107

Anonymous #1

Original post by harmony_01

Do Qur'anists not cover their hair during salaah? :s-smilie:

Are they entirely consistent?

Just curious.

Oh and OP very sensitive topic.

sorry religeon is sensitive. i hope im not causing offence to anyone

Reply 108

Ayesha.Tabassam95

Original post by Golden_Boy786

Ehh? well? its? Islamic i guess, this was the code to get into our mosque so i presumed it must be a religious number, thats how i came to the conclusion. :yep:

Hahahaha. Lol. Are you being serious??
And why do you need a code to get into your mosque :confused:

Reply 109

silent ninja

Original post by Anonymous

sorry religeon is sensitive. i hope im not causing offence to anyone

Think you should surround yourself with good Muslim friends. Have you been practicing in isolation? That's impossible if you have. University has ISOC too where you can get more involved in Islamic activities.

It's not unusal to fall out and go through difficulties but there is support out there. It's not like other Muslims haven't been in your position.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 110

Tudball

Original post by Anonymous

sorry religeon is sensitive. i hope im not causing offence to anyone

No worries. People always get riled up when it comes to this sort of thing.

Reply 111

SmallStudent

Original post by Anonymous

thanks i see what you mean.. but again, i want to start afresh, and getting to the point of starting afresh is difficult.

ah, I see..

Well it's ironic because when you look inside pharmacies today, you tend to see a lot of 'hijabis' hha.

Soo what are you thinking? hijab on, or off?

Reply 112

harmony_01

Original post by Ayshizzle

Tbh I'm not entirely sure. I shall have a look and report back :smile:

I just know that they view the hijaab itself as being non- compulsory as it supported by the Hadith and not the Qur'an.

It's ok I know that the hijab is compulsory in the Qur'an exegesis of Surah An Nur. :smile:

Sometimes, it can be hard to reconcile having a Muslim identity.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 113

Golden_Boy786

Original post by Ayesha.Tabassam95

Hahahaha. Lol. Are you being serious??
And why do you need a code to get into your mosque :confused:

You don't believe me?? I'm a muslim why would i lie.

Anyway true story, our mosque is near the city centre, so we make sure the doors are always kept locked, cos our ustad is an old man who literally lives there can't defend the Mosque against the chav's. :biggrin:

Plus, every muslim knows the codes gonna be 786, except from the Gorai of course. haha

Reply 114

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ayesha.Tabassam95

Hahahaha. Lol. Are you being serious??
And why do you need a code to get into your mosque :confused:

what? ive never been to my local mosque. only at funerals..

Original post by silent ninja

i dont have any muslim friend. i practised mainly through books/lectures and i also sing and play a number of instruments and some religeous events. but not allowed to play in public as people mind instruments. i personally find it adds to a spritual experience.

Reply 115

harmony_01

Original post by Anonymous

sorry religeon is sensitive. i hope im not causing offence to anyone

Nope you aren't. I think Silentninja gave good advice.

Reply 116

Anonymous #1

Original post by Tudball

No worries. People always get riled up when it comes to this sort of thing.

yeh its just one of lifes mysteries

Original post by SmallStudent

ah, I see..

Well it's ironic because when you look inside pharmacies today, you tend to see a lot of 'hijabis' hha.

Soo what are you thinking? hijab on, or off?

i am thinking off. if anyone wants my designs which should have been modelled in the summer you can have them. i dont want it anymore.

i am going to start afresh! its the best way. however losing your identity is scary and im still puzzled over explaining to my family.

Reply 117

UnbreakableDimmy

A life lived for others is no life at all.

Take it off. Never let someone tell you what you can or cannot wear. Ever. That's an invasion of your body.

Reply 118

Tabris

It's your life, do what you want. Once you are an adult, you dictate the direction of your life.

I knew a girl who stopped wearing a hijab after she moved out of her home. It was pretty weird since she exclusively wore one when I'd first met her, then she went away and that changed. She was pretty glad she did as it allowed her to come in to her own person.

If I were you though, and depending on how strict they are, I'd consider talking to them about it first if you do. You don't want to go to uni, discard the head scarf and then come back not wearing it to have your parents that uni has changed their daughter, rather than your own choice.

I'm not a Muslim, or religious at all, so you'll have to pardon my ignorance. But I think it'd be a good idea to check the Qu'ran for stuff which would at least show that not wearing a head scarf is okay. Memorise these passages and before you go to university, talk to your parents about no longer wearing your head scarf and use said passages from the Qu'ran to back you up. Explain to them how you feel and assure them that it isn't for any elicit reason.

Whatever you do, don't do it suddenly and out of the blue (at least, in their eyes). Make sure you talk to them about it.

Reply 119

Anonymous #2

Original post by Silver Lining

there is no such thing as a good Muslim. no one can judge who is a good or bad Muslim, only Allah can. and it is compulsory for a Muslim woman to cover herself from her non-mehram, it is a sign of a Muslim woman. it is written in the Quran. I do apologise for bringing this up but what you said is wrong.