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AQA Unseen poetry GCSE Essay - please mark

Question - What do you think the poet is saying about the relationship between man and nature?
The poem:

Spoiler


Hanson conveys a vivid account of the tasks of a wasp and at first we begin to realise that these animals are doing a sacred task of "mining" the "food of gods". In the poem Tom suggests the idea of a pivotal task as he informs us that they have "busy hushed movements" and that they "mine" "all day", portraying their importance as they aren't passive. Hanson begins to explain that the creatures, wasps, are very determined to carry out their work, not slacking and being "busy". However, then the narrator intrudes the scene and picks up the "mushy corpse", suggesting how humans interfere with animals who aren't affecting them. He begins to explain to us that humans are destroying the world by disturbing nature.

Moreover, Hanson portrays the stark contrast in what humans and animals find delicious. To the wasp, the "fallen apples" are the food of gods, yet to the narrator they're "cold" and "mushy". The use of imagery emphasises the clash in opinion, we see the apple as repulsive. In many ways he's emphasising the point previously suggested that Hanson informs the reader of the consequences of human intervention, making the wasps "dazed" and "drunk". The difference in view points suggests that humans can sometimes be destructive as they're self centred and aren't considerate towards others.

Also, we begin to develop an insight of the difference of a wasp's work load and that of a human's. Biblical references are made suggesting that they're in a "congregation", a metaphor for their deeply pivotal and loyal task they're withdrawing, yet Hanson uses juxtaposition to show the trivial actions of us, the human. The narrator has no superior or driving motive, he delves into his curiosity, something the human race should be ashamed off. Tom is saying that the relationship between man and nature is very opposing, and we're mindless, unlike the hard working animal. The relationship contrasts greatly.
(edited 12 years ago)
Please comment if you think it's a C,B,A or A*. Thank you.
I did this exam last June and got full marks for the unseen poetry, so I should be able to help you.

1. Your last statement ('The relationship contrasts greatly') needs more expansion - the examiner will look at it and immediately only give you a B/A grade rather than an A*

2. I like your language analysis, but you could be more detailed

3. There is no analysis of structure or form - this isn't a requirement, but you should discuss it to access the higher marks

4. You need a conclusion, and the exam question normally asks for a personal response.

I wrote a practice essay for the unseen poetry last year, and my teacher gave me 17/18 marks; if you'd like to have a look at it , please let me know xx
Original post by multiplexing-gamer
Please comment if you think it's a C,B,A or A*. Thank you.


Just so you see I've replied
Original post by ArtisticFlair
I did this exam last June and got full marks for the unseen poetry, so I should be able to help you.

1. Your last statement ('The relationship contrasts greatly') needs more expansion - the examiner will look at it and immediately only give you a B/A grade rather than an A*

2. I like your language analysis, but you could be more detailed

3. There is no analysis of structure or form - this isn't a requirement, but you should discuss it to access the higher marks

4. You need a conclusion, and the exam question normally asks for a personal response.

I wrote a practice essay for the unseen poetry last year, and my teacher gave me 17/18 marks; if you'd like to have a look at it , please let me know xx

Thank you for the reply. Do you mind if I send you another essay later on in the day/week, you're very helpful. What. Grade would you give it?
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TLA boy
doing this in YR7

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