The Student Room Group

Crossdressing help?

I'm looking to crossdress, but I have a feminine figure, despite my flat chest.

Specifically:
-Thin arms with slender wrists.
-Curvy hips.

The latter can just be hidden with a baggy shirt, but baggy long sleeved shirts are a bit far fetched, especially considering length of the arms - I'm five foot two.

I have a trilby and I'll be hiding my hair under that, or I'll just get it short, haven't decided yet.

I'm aware I'll pass for a pre-teen boy at best, but I'm hoping people will get the message.

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Reply 1
Why are you doing this?
Reply 2
Original post by WTSFG
Why are you doing this?


Will that help you answer?
Reply 3
Original post by Schemilix
Will that help you answer?


Of course
Reply 4
Original post by WTSFG
Of course


Okie doke, just so I knew how to answer. Basically, I'd like to pass for male in an everyday situation - so not just on stage for a play and probably close up. I'm aware this is unlikely given that I have an extremely girlish face, but I have been mistaken for male in the past just by chance, though that was at a distance, and wearing said hat. So ideally something that's reasonably comfortable, and that isn't too obvious if it doesn't have to be.

Did that help?
I don't think the users of this site are best placed to offer the advice you seek. Have you attempted to join a specialist forum for the interest mentioned in the title?
Reply 6
Original post by Formerly Helpful_C
I don't think the users of this site are best placed to offer the advice you seek. Have you attempted to join a specialist forum for the interest mentioned in the title?


There's actually a decent proportion of this website who could, and I'm sure people with no experience might know someone or be able to offer sensible suggestions, but thanks for the concern. There's no harm in asking here after all.
Original post by Schemilix
I'm looking to crossdress, but I have a feminine figure, despite my flat chest.

Specifically:
-Thin arms with slender wrists.
-Curvy hips.

The latter can just be hidden with a baggy shirt, but baggy long sleeved shirts are a bit far fetched, especially considering length of the arms - I'm five foot two.

I have a trilby and I'll be hiding my hair under that, or I'll just get it short, haven't decided yet.

I'm aware I'll pass for a pre-teen boy at best, but I'm hoping people will get the message.


...erm, what message?
Reply 8
are you transgender or do you just prefer a more masculine style?
Reply 9
If you're wanting to do it long term, id try and get a binder. It will cover the curves of your hips and your chest, regardless of how flat you say you are. Another option would be to research subtle shading techniques with makeup. I would suggest you join a specialist forum though. :smile:
i think you show go with those baggy jeans... not so baggy they slide down your bum, but baggy enough to hide your hips... then maybe go for a skaterish look with a check shirt and some nice vans trainers. do you have to wear a trilby? because i think it might be hard to look casual with that with the kind of trousers you're limited to. can't you wear a baseball cap or chop your hair off?

unless you want to look smart? in that case wear some straight black trousers that skim over your hips and a shirt tucked in casually or smart depending on the look and some black shoes.
You're in luck - female bodies can pass for male often without too much difficulty. If you haven't much arm hair, a jacket is probably advisable (which will also deal with slenderness).

Mostly it's about presentation I think. If you make a vague attempt to cover up feminine features, people will make assumptions from your clothes. I strongly suggest cutting your hair if you are considering doing this long-term. Assumptions are made a lot from hair length.

For the record, I'm a post-op almost 20 year old Female-to-Male transsexual, so I have been on the road for quite some time and would be able to answer specific questions about what I have found useful/not useful in passing. Although of course, I don't know what your purpose for cross-dressing is, so unsure how appropriate my experiences are to your situation.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 12
Do you want to look smartly androgynous e.g. Annie Lennox, or more casual and laddish? With the trilby, I would definitely be going for smarter looks - straight trousers and shirts, instead of t-shirts and jeans, but that's just my preference!
Reply 13
I didn't specify why I want to crossdress for a reason, why are people so nosy and unhelpful?

Original post by ohirome
If you're wanting to do it long term, id try and get a binder. It will cover the curves of your hips and your chest, regardless of how flat you say you are. Another option would be to research subtle shading techniques with makeup. I would suggest you join a specialist forum though. :smile:


I did consider shading on my cheekbones and so on, but it's my bone structure overall that's feminine. Still, it'd help I think. And yes, it probably is best to get a binder, since bandage binding is uncomfortable and potentially unsafe. I don't have much to bind, though! Thanks for the help!

Original post by Bellissima
i think you show go with those baggy jeans... not so baggy they slide down your bum, but baggy enough to hide your hips... then maybe go for a skaterish look with a check shirt and some nice vans trainers. do you have to wear a trilby? because i think it might be hard to look casual with that with the kind of trousers you're limited to. can't you wear a baseball cap or chop your hair off?

unless you want to look smart? in that case wear some straight black trousers that skim over your hips and a shirt tucked in casually or smart depending on the look and some black shoes.


Hm, I am thinking a smart look may be best. Unfortunately most dress shirts that would fit me are tailored at the hips as they are for women! I found one male shirt that fits me, and it's a t-shirt with female sleeves. Odd. I do have plenty of 'boyfriend fit' jeans that look respectable but also hide my figure. Thanks for the suggestions.


Original post by lightburns
You're in luck - female bodies can pass for male often without too much difficulty. If you haven't much arm hair, a jacket is probably advisable (which will also deal with slenderness).

Mostly it's about presentation I think. If you make a vague attempt to cover up feminine features, people will make assumptions from your clothes. I strongly suggest cutting your hair if you are considering doing this long-term. Assumptions are made a lot from hair length.

For the record, I'm a post-op almost 20 year old Female-to-Male transsexual, so I have been on the road for quite some time and would be able to answer specific questions about what I have found useful/not useful in passing. Although of course, I don't know what your purpose for cross-dressing is, so unsure how appropriate my experiences are to your situation.


Hm yes, a jacket would be sensible, though obviously not ideal for Summer, especially considering binding would be uncomfortable and sweaty as it is. I'm transmasculine to an extent but don't feel as though sex correction surgery would be appropriate for me, given that it's such a large change, I don't feel fully male and I do like how I look - just not that people make assumptions about me judged on how I look. I've been told that it's okay to call me she because I 'look feminine', which, well, yes. I'd like the option to be perceived either as male or as female, so researching my options. There are some days where my femininity makes me sick and others where I genuinely enjoy it. We'll see with time, for now I'd rather not make any decisions. Any suggestions you have would thus be appropriate for me I'm sure. Thanks very much!

Original post by F Ellen
Do you want to look smartly androgynous e.g. Annie Lennox, or more casual and laddish? With the trilby, I would definitely be going for smarter looks - straight trousers and shirts, instead of t-shirts and jeans, but that's just my preference!


So I have been told! I just love my trilby. I think the straight trousers are a good idea, but again, five foot two. I'd be swamped by male gear and female gear is always tailored to show off the hips to differentiate from male suits. Thanks for the help!
And yes, I am thinking of getting my hair short, preferably an androgynous cut that can work either way - I've been looking into that for a while.
Original post by Schemilix
I didn't specify why I want to crossdress for a reason, why are people so nosy and unhelpful?


There must be a reason why you want to cross-dress. People don't just cross-dress for no reason.
Reply 15
Original post by Schemilix


So I have been told! I just love my trilby. I think the straight trousers are a good idea, but again, five foot two. I'd be swamped by male gear and female gear is always tailored to show off the hips to differentiate from male suits. Thanks for the help!
And yes, I am thinking of getting my hair short, preferably an androgynous cut that can work either way - I've been looking into that for a while.


I have a blue velvet trilby, I love it! :biggrin:
There's something about androgyny that makes me question my sexuality!

Perhaps you could get some mens trousers tailored especially to your requirements?
Reply 16
Original post by F Ellen
I have a blue velvet trilby, I love it! :biggrin:
There's something about androgyny that makes me question my sexuality!

Perhaps you could get some mens trousers tailored especially to your requirements?


That sounds great. Mine's a regular trilby, it was my grandfather's. Not that he's dead, he just never wears it, and after I used it for a play (Bugsy Malone) he let me keep it.

And I would love to, but that's out of my price range considering I'm saving for a Master's.

Original post by sil3nt_cha0s
There must be a reason why you want to cross-dress. People don't just cross-dress for no reason.


People don't do anything for no reason - they do it because they want to.
I'm going to comment on lots of your comments here. It may be that it's not useful, but on the off-chance that something is, here goes.

Original post by Schemilix
I did consider shading on my cheekbones and so on, but it's my bone structure overall that's feminine. Still, it'd help I think. And yes, it probably is best to get a binder, since bandage binding is uncomfortable and potentially unsafe. I don't have much to bind, though! Thanks for the help!

You're in luck, it seems, as you should then have little in the way of speed-bumps (i.e. a showing bump despite the use of a binder). I would advise against the use of make-up to try and make your bone structure look different or to fake stubble just due to the risk of doing so - doing it wrong will immediately screw up your attempts to pass, and you have no way of knowing if it has gone wrong throughout the day.

Hm, I am thinking a smart look may be best. Unfortunately most dress shirts that would fit me are tailored at the hips as they are for women! I found one male shirt that fits me, and it's a t-shirt with female sleeves. Odd. I do have plenty of 'boyfriend fit' jeans that look respectable but also hide my figure. Thanks for the suggestions.

I'm 5'5 (just!), and although I never had big breasts, I do have big hips. The shops I use are Topman for tops and jackets (they come in small sizes!) and Next for jeans (they do short-leg variants). BHS do a young range of smart clothes which I have used for shirts. My tactic is to go casual, so this won't be so appropriate to you. Unlike someone else's suggestion, I go for normal or tight jeans, which as I don't pack will make me look like I am tiny downstairs, but I have been complimented by a randomer on the street for skinny jeans asking where I bought them from! I then have a baggy t-shirt on - this covers up much of the hip problem. I hate it when I have to dress more smartly for an interview, because it gets trickier to cover up my slightly sticking-out woman's bum. So if you have a female bum, take note! Smart trousers are often thin, which will make this feature stand out without a jacket.

One bonus of going your direction - you don't have any difficulty buying clothes from the male sector, whereas someone read as male would have some difficulty buying a dress.
I strongly suggest that when you want to be read as male, you don't have visibly long hair, and that you wear male clothes - obviously male-cut clothes will affect how people read you, even if they don't quite fit right!

Hm yes, a jacket would be sensible, though obviously not ideal for Summer, especially considering binding would be uncomfortable and sweaty as it is. I'm transmasculine to an extent but don't feel as though sex correction surgery would be appropriate for me, given that it's such a large change, I don't feel fully male and I do like how I look - just not that people make assumptions about me judged on how I look. I've been told that it's okay to call me she because I 'look feminine', which, well, yes. I'd like the option to be perceived either as male or as female, so researching my options. There are some days where my femininity makes me sick and others where I genuinely enjoy it. We'll see with time, for now I'd rather not make any decisions. Any suggestions you have would thus be appropriate for me I'm sure. Thanks very much!

Ah yes... I forget how awful summer binding is. Then I would say that don't worry too much - I don't think arms are used much as a mechanism to read someone's gender. If you don't think surgery is the right route for you, then that's a good thing. It's an expensive, problematic, unpleasant and irreversible change. If you got to that stage, then fair enough, but otherwise it's much better to be changing things on the clothing level!
Reply 18
Original post by lightburns

You're in luck, it seems, as you should then have little in the way of speed-bumps (i.e. a showing bump despite the use of a binder). I would advise against the use of make-up to try and make your bone structure look different or to fake stubble just due to the risk of doing so - doing it wrong will immediately screw up your attempts to pass, and you have no way of knowing if it has gone wrong throughout the day.


Goodness no, not stubble! Just very subtle to 'tip the balance'. It's worth a shot and if it doesn't work, then it doesn't work. I'm probably only as big as the speedbumps unbound.

Original post by lightburns
I'm 5'5 (just!), and although I never had big breasts, I do have big hips. The shops I use are Topman for tops and jackets (they come in small sizes!) and Next for jeans (they do short-leg variants). BHS do a young range of smart clothes which I have used for shirts. My tactic is to go casual, so this won't be so appropriate to you. Unlike someone else's suggestion, I go for normal or tight jeans, which as I don't pack will make me look like I am tiny downstairs, but I have been complimented by a randomer on the street for skinny jeans asking where I bought them from! I then have a baggy t-shirt on - this covers up much of the hip problem. I hate it when I have to dress more smartly for an interview, because it gets trickier to cover up my slightly sticking-out woman's bum. So if you have a female bum, take note! Smart trousers are often thin, which will make this feature stand out without a jacket.


Thanks for the tip on the old buttocks - mine aren't especially prominent but I do have a pronounced 'female curve' to my spine. I think a jacket will be best, yes. My butt's definitely that of a lady.

Original post by lightburns
One bonus of going your direction - you don't have any difficulty buying clothes from the male sector, whereas someone read as male would have some difficulty buying a dress.
I strongly suggest that when you want to be read as male, you don't have visibly long hair, and that you wear male clothes - obviously male-cut clothes will affect how people read you, even if they don't quite fit right!


And yeah, the hair thing has been mentioned a few times. I just don't want to be locked into 'looking male' since if the haircut is masculine and not androgynous, wearing female gear will... not work, and I'm just trying it out for now.

Original post by lightburns
Ah yes... I forget how awful summer binding is. Then I would say that don't worry too much - I don't think arms are used much as a mechanism to read someone's gender. If you don't think surgery is the right route for you, then that's a good thing. It's an expensive, problematic, unpleasant and irreversible change. If you got to that stage, then fair enough, but otherwise it's much better to be changing things on the clothing level!


Yes, I know. Even for people for whom the change is necessary, it's a traumatic and stressful process and the changes often lead to depression, even if they're the right ones. It's a real shame, but then it's amazing that we're able to correct sex these days as it is, and it's still improving. Like I said I'm not 100% transmale and have no issue with my body, unlike some, so hiding it in public so my gender is read correctly will do for me - my friends know to call me he, and so on, and I feel comfortable with my body around the house. Just as an initial reaction. Some days I don't much mind the she and the madam, others I get extremely annoyed. Thanks so much for all your help, it's really useful and I will definitely consider my options in light of it!
Well, you know my thoughts and suggestions on this front. I'm just here to show support.

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