The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

I have a long distance reltionship with my bf! we have been through so much and we have only been together almost 2 yearsI still both in school. We have been through so so much! i have done some bad stuff and so has he, however i have been pretty down lately just failed my driving test for the 3rd time, had a career plan but now i have no idea what i want to do, i hate my school, I am a semi professional runner and its hard keeping up with training and work so i get stressed out a lot on top of having a job, as My bf earns no money i am the provider of our relationship which i dont mind, as its him and i would do anything for him. However we barley text at all in the day which really gets me down sometimes as he says he is always busy at school, but i feel like he says stuff to me to make me happy and not because he means it, and the way he acts isnt how he actually feels. I feel like he is so sweet to everyone else but puts it on for me. And when i feel very down (like at the weekend when i ran badly) i feel he is so patronising. I do tell him how i feel but he just says im being ridiculous but its kind of upsetting me :/ I find it hard not seeing him for months at a time and somedays we rarley speak i would love him also to do something random but sweet sometimes as whenever he comes over i cook, clean, wait on him everything! and i want him to take control sometimes and just say "look ill cook dinner tonight" or something like that or send me a random sweet message! those small things mean so much!
sorry about the long post

any advice??

Oh, okay, your second paragraph makes more sense. I'm in the opposite situation: my boyfriend is a year younger, two academic years behind me (he failed his first year and had to resit) and on a five year (plus two compulsory training years) medical degree. I think both situations are difficult (it's hard being the one wanting to make all the plans, and trying to stop myself from getting too carried away!), and I hope you guys can come to a mutually-acceptable solution!

It makes sense and i think you have a good time right now to think your head through and untangle your heart so that you know what you want. We all miss our partners so i guess that quantifies that we are unhappy. I feel utterly wretched a lot of the time but its because i miss her not because she makes me unhappy. she makes me unbeleivably happy which is what makes me unhappy when im not with her if that makes sense.

Does he make you happy? Is it the LDR or the person thats making you miserable? You have invested a lot both emothionally and physichally can it be resolved. Unfortunately thats something only you can answer kat.

As for marriage, maybe hes hinting to try and gauge what youd say. Asking someone to marry you is a bleeding scary prospect

Sorry you're unhappy Kat. What makes you unhappy? Is it the communication while you're apart or does the distance make you guys snip at each other?

You need to be firmer about this marriage thing I think because the pressure won't be helping! - my other half is 25 and I'm 20 too, and I know what you mean exactly. I'm doing a 5 year degree as well so when I graduate won't be earning anything near him and just less "mature" in my career, and I don't want to think about marriage etc. But you need to make him understand you're not saying not ever, it's just not even on your radar, if you see what I mean.

I know you've said before seeing him in the 4 months is basically impossible... what would make it easier for you? Chatting less, more, at more reliable times..?

It still counts as long distance, we are all different distances from our partners (some 2-3 hours away, others in different countries), welcome to the society!

We skyped for two and a half hours yesterday and yet today I still feel a bit :| and I don't know why. I just feel really cold and emotionless towards everything today ... probably because of the exam stress.

Sigh.

We skyped for two and a half hours yesterday and yet today I still feel a bit :| and I don't know why. I just feel really cold and emotionless towards everything today ... probably because of the exam stress.

Sigh.

I felt exactly like this up until my hideous, three-hour third year degree exam was over yesterday afternoon and then I felt so much happier. Had a long Skype with my boyfriend afterwards and it was just such a relief. Don't worry, it will pass and good luck with your exams!

Think I'm (sort of) the same, to be honest
I think all the exam stress, amount of work and teachers getting about twenty times stricter is what's making me all hyper sensitive lately, I keep worrying and getting upset over the tiniest things, noticed such a difference from what I was like before/during the easter holidays and now, it's crazy. And I feel pretty guilty for being like this too, can't be fun to deal with a crazy person

Hopefully it passes for both of us

Im counting down the days until I see him.. still 21 days to go

66 days

Urgh, I'm not actually in a relationship yet and it's already proving difficult even though I only live about two hours away from him! I have no idea when we're going to have time to see each other, I'd happily see him most weekends but I work on saturdays which makes things difficult. Fortunately I should be finishing my job sometime in summer so I suppose that'll make it easier.

Also I have no idea how to ask my parents about him staying over here and me staying at his. I'm 17, 18 in a few months time but I don't think they'll be over enthusiastic about it and yeah idk where to start. Any advice?

Awww the longest we' ve been separate is 46 days or so and yet is so tough...so I can imagine what is it like having to wait so long until you see him next hopefully time will go by quickly!!

I am sure you will Ohh, August is far away. How far away are you guys normally? Paris will be fun though!!

Just try bringing up the subject as calmly as you can. It might help if you were in a relationship though ^^ Don't worry, my family is kind of Muslim and though my mum said my boyfriend couldn't sleep in my room or in the house (we're all girls), she had no problem with us staying in a hotel together or me sharing his room. Just try it

heya we are not that far but he's always busy or hasnt got enough money. Hence when we do meet im the one traveling. Which means I never plan anything or go anywhere because im so eager to see him and wait for him to give the ok.
Apart from Paris. That's the first time in two years that ive done something for myself

How far are you guys?

Yeahh, I mean we're heading towards a relationship so by that time we'll probably be together but ahh that's good to know I suppose, I'm hoping they won't have too much of a problem with it. Well, I don't think my mum will have a problem, but I know my dad will, urgh.

Are you watching the football? I'm watching it and he is too but the bastard has probably purposefully left his phone upstairs because he thinks I'm going to annoy him with emails, which I am doing, but about the football xD

Haha yeah I'm watching it and so is my boyfriend. Well, its football, you know, they dont enjoy talking while the football is on, it takes too much concentration..

Supporting Madrid I'm guessing?