Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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I'm in such a dilemma, I've been offered another job (a job that I had before but they couldn't afford to keep me working) I desperately need the money and the job, but when I worked with this guy before he was really pervy he would say things which were inappropriate and he would touch me in ways I was really uncomfortable with. The place I worked was a food place, and I decided to stop eating because I associated food with him.

I don't know whether to take the job, I feel that having more money would help me eat though, because at the moment I see that if I don't eat I won't have so many money problems.

I've told the guy that I'm not comfortable with what he does, but he always laughs it off, and when he grabs me I'm not strong enough to get him off and sometimes it hurts me when I struggle. I know he'd never go far enough to really abuse me though. Should I suck it up and take the job back?

Hey Guys,

I just wanted to share me sort of 'Eureka' moment i had the other day.

I've been really stuggling since coming out of in-patient treatment and finding it difficult to carve a way out of this hossible illness. But the other day a lady i know said to me 'You look awful, really really unwell, are you okay?'. Normally i would take this as a huge insult and use it to encourage my eating disorder 'excusing' myself as such. But instead i went home and looked at myself in the mirror. For the first time i saw the real ugly face of an eating disorder and saw what it had done to me.

I realised how much it had taken away from me physically and mentally. I felt strong and even decided i was going to have breakfast, lunch and dinner and i achieved this!!! Obviously not without anxiety and worry. But i did it.

For the first time in ten years, i have not used other peoples comments to encourage my self-destructing behaviour but used it in a positive way to face up to the illness and not let it win the battle.

Its a long road ahead, but after applying for my student finance this week it has spurred me on to really look forward to the future. Accepting that maybe it will always be a part of mylife. But how big a part of my life, is up to my strength and confidence.

Keep safe guys

xxxx

That is a dilemma. But hun, when he touches you without your consent, that is not okay. Is there anyone you can talk to about his behaviour? Like a manager? I'd be worried about you being safe if you took the job but you do need to eat. You shouldn't have to work alongside someone like that. You shouldn't have to suck it up. What he's doing is wrong. Please try and talk to a manager or something and then see if they can discpline him or make sure you don't work together first or something. If you take the job and he's like that it's only going to make things worse because even though you'll have money, it's going to be even more difficult emotionally.
That's what I think anyway.

The problem is that it's not clear who the manager is anymore. The people who own the business are very much absent and when at work it is always only him with one other waitress (it's a very small place) so in that sense he kind of is the manager.

My friend also works there, and she was like yeah he is a bit strange but from what she said I could tell he'd never been thIat far with her, so she didn't really understand it. It sounds stupid but when he's not being like 'that' he's a dead nice guy, so I kind of don't want to get him in trouble. Also I just tell myself he doesn't understand it's not acceptable because he is foreign.

I would like to tell my mum about it but I know she'd be angry and force me not to take the job. I'll think about it, maybe I'll say yes to the job, but promise myself that if he does anything to make me feel uncomfortable again I'll have to leave.

Love you hunnyyy

Hey Guys,

I just wanted to share me sort of 'Eureka' moment i had the other day.

I've been really stuggling since coming out of in-patient treatment and finding it difficult to carve a way out of this hossible illness. But the other day a lady i know said to me 'You look awful, really really unwell, are you okay?'. Normally i would take this as a huge insult and use it to encourage my eating disorder 'excusing' myself as such. But instead i went home and looked at myself in the mirror. For the first time i saw the real ugly face of an eating disorder and saw what it had done to me.

I realised how much it had taken away from me physically and mentally. I felt strong and even decided i was going to have breakfast, lunch and dinner and i achieved this!!! Obviously not without anxiety and worry. But i did it.

For the first time in ten years, i have not used other peoples comments to encourage my self-destructing behaviour but used it in a positive way to face up to the illness and not let it win the battle.

Its a long road ahead, but after applying for my student finance this week it has spurred me on to really look forward to the future. Accepting that maybe it will always be a part of mylife. But how big a part of my life, is up to my strength and confidence.

Keep safe guys

xxxx

You have a tumblr snowflake? Me too! It's pretty much been a lifesaver.
Wonders if I'm folllowing you without realising it's you

I know I haven't been here for a while, I hope you're all okay.
I've just been... well, you can see my post on the depression soc if you want to know.

Love you all darlings, keep safe. xx

Not trying to encourage you to talk to us if you don't want to, but nobody is truly beyond help. There are people in this thread, Toto especially, who have shown that you really can come back and get stronger from being very, very low indeed. So have faith

Thank you for your words but to be honest you can't get better if you don't really want to, I'm pretty much an evil person and this is just part of the ways I punish myself and my body. Although if I do ever feel the need to talk I will be sure to keep this thread in mind, you all do sound like nice down to earth folk

I wonder how many people posting ITT genuinely suffer from a mental illness, and how many just wish they did because they think it makes them interesting.

why am I so open with Toto, Squiff, Etoile, sentiment and Riku, because they know .snowflake., they don't know the very lonely young woman behind the username. They have no idea what my name is, where I live, and I'm not actually certain they know how old I am. They know I'm going to uni. Why can i tell these guys my deepest darkest secrets, because i know they wont judge me, tell me to stop being so pathetic and just eat, call me a freak or threaten to dob me in to teachers. Because they know what its like to be sat in your room, feeling so cold that two pairs of socks, thermal t-shirt, a long sleeve top a huugely oversided hoody, a pair of jeans a blanket, 15.0 tog duvet, heating on full whack and a massive mug of tea cannot fix it.

Thank you for your words but to be honest you can't get better if you don't really want to, I'm pretty much an evil person and this is just part of the ways I punish myself and my body. Although if I do ever feel the need to talk I will be sure to keep this thread in mind, you all do sound like nice down to earth folk

So, people in recovery.... what do you do when you hit that brick wall and it's so difficult you don't know if you can cope anymore? I'm such a weak person. Nearly had to cut at college today, despite not having done so for weeks, managed not to though. The bad part is that the feeling was there.
also, possibly tmi but does anyone else find that an ED completely removed their desire for sex? XD

Just remember that you aren't a weak person, and that just wanting to get better means you've got somewhere. I don't think anyone with an ED goes through recovery and doesn't move a few steps forward and the occaisional step back, but if you can push yourself to get past the wall you'll be a stronger person for it. This might not help but have you ever written down all the things you want to do and can't because of your ED, I find it quite motivating when i get the 'I'm hopeless what is the point in even trying to get better, it's way easier to stay like this' thoughts. Also writing a list of pros and cons of having an eating disorder, you will probably find there are way more cons, and the pros are usually either things that aren't particuarly good or things like control which you can get through managing to get better or even things like being on top of work etc. (if that made sense)

RE: the whole sex thing. I've a book which, unless I've completely gone mad, explains why it happens.

Really? So why is it?

Really? So why is it?