The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

To be fair to Ciccina's boyfriend, while money is not the be-all-and-end-all, it is ridiculously important. And, okay, he probably should be actively looking for jobs closer to her, but I don't think it's wrong to want to put money first to a certain extent... especially in this economy. I know people say "oh, there'll always be jobs in other places", but I'm graduating from my Masters next summer and if I found a job in my home town I would have to take it, regardless of how much I would ideally like to stay with my boyfriend while he finishes off medical school. I know there are other issues here, but I think it's a tad unfair to say that "things need to brought up" because he's thinking about money. It's not nice if it means prolonging the long-distance for even more time, but sometimes we have to make decisions we don't like.

I guess it depends on your POV. Id rather be happy than rich with a job i enjoy rather than one that pays lots of money. My uncle is well off, and he worked for it and he hates his job with a vengeance. But each to their own.

It just means you have to decide whats more important to you. your partner or a paycheck. different people want different things. But i dont think its unfair if its something thats upsetting Ciccina why should she keep quiet about it? Keeping quiet just builds up resentment that can show in different ways. im not saying she should force him into a decision but she should at least talk to him about how she feels

Can I PM anyone on here to ask for some advice?

Can I PM anyone on here to ask for some advice?

Can I PM anyone on here to ask for some advice?

Hi guys,

I'm new to TSR and this is my first post. I have been in a LDR for 2 years and still going strong

Hello! What's your situation like?

HI!!!!

My name is Francesca, I'm from Nettuno, Italy

I met my boyfriend during a summer course in UK. He's studying his masters at Queen Mary while I am studying in Rome instead. When I am done with my BA and if I am still with him, I will move to the UK and study a masters there.

(Please excuse my mistakes )

So I've been sort of seeing this boy for a few weeks, and we had a lovely day a few days ago which ended in us kissing/cuddling for quite a while. He told me that he thinks being in a relationship right now would ruin us (I agree, we haven't known each other for ages and I think we both want to see each other more before we start something like that, especially as we live a couple of hours away from each other). He's said that he isn't interested in anyone else and will always be here for me and various other lovely things, but I feel like he's scared of thinking about the future (which he has kind of admitted). He's having a bit of trouble with friends at the moment and things haven't always been smooth between us, but I think I'm just scared of being used or hurt. I don't even know why I'm worrying really, I don't want a relationship just yet either and I'm happy to see how things go. I suppose I'd just like to know that there's a relatively high possibility of a relationship at some point in the future.

I just wondered if there's any advice that anyone has, I don't really know what I'm looking for haha, just reassurance or something I suppose.

Ciao, Francesa! Io sono jeh_jeh e anch'io mi trovo in una relazione a lunga distanza; non è come la tua, però, perché io sono a Coventry (Warwick) e mio amore abita a Birmingham. Per un anno, comunque, anche noi abbiamo fatto the international thing perché ho fatto un anno all'estero a Brescia (mi laureo in italiano questo luglio!). Quanti anni manchi per la triennale?

P.S. Secondo le regole, se mi rispondi in italiano, da anche la traduzione inglese.

Hi, Francesca! I'm jeh_jeh, and I'm in a long-distance relationship, too. It's not as bad as yours, though, because I go to Warwick and my boyfriend goes to Birmingham. We did do England/Italy for a year, though, when I did my year abroad in Brescia (I'm studying Italian and I graduate in June!). How many years of your degree do you have left?

P.S. If you reply in Italian, you need to give an English translation, too!

So I've been sort of seeing this boy for a few weeks, and we had a lovely day a few days ago which ended in us kissing/cuddling for quite a while. He told me that he thinks being in a relationship right now would ruin us (I agree, we haven't known each other for ages and I think we both want to see each other more before we start something like that, especially as we live a couple of hours away from each other). He's said that he isn't interested in anyone else and will always be here for me and various other lovely things, but I feel like he's scared of thinking about the future (which he has kind of admitted). He's having a bit of trouble with friends at the moment and things haven't always been smooth between us, but I think I'm just scared of being used or hurt. I don't even know why I'm worrying really, I don't want a relationship just yet either and I'm happy to see how things go. I suppose I'd just like to know that there's a relatively high possibility of a relationship at some point in the future.

I just wondered if there's any advice that anyone has, I don't really know what I'm looking for haha, just reassurance or something I suppose.

Ciaooooooo jeh_jeh!!! Piacere di conoscerti! E' bello sapere che ci sono tante persone nella stessa mia situazione!

Mi manca ancora un anno all'università, poi spero che potrò raggiungere il mio tesoruccio in Inghilterra.
Però recentemente lui mi ha detto che dopo la laurea vorrebbe andare a fare un anno di servizio civile fuori. Io lo amo tanto, e voglio che sia felice e che faccia tutte le esperienze che vuole...ma a dir la verità, questa rivelazione mi ha davvero spiazzata. Insomma, stiamo insieme da due anni, e io non voglio restare in una relazione a distanza per cinque o sei anni


Il tuo ragazzo è italiano? E da quanto state insieme? Come ti sei trovata a Brescia? Baciniii

Hiiiiiiiiiii jeh_jeh! Nice to meet you! It's nice to know that there are many people in my same situation!

I still have a year of college left, then I hope I can reach my sweetheart in England.
But recently he told me that after graduation he wants to go abroad for a year for civil service. I love him so much, and I want him to be happy and to have all the experiences he wants ... but to tell the truth, this revelation was really surprising. We've been together for two years, and I don't want to stay in a long distance relationship for five or six years: S


Is your boyfriend Italian? And how long have you been together? How have you found in Brescia? Kissessss

No, he's English. It was horrible, though, because we met at a friend's birthday in the May, we started going out in the July and then I had to go to Italy in the September. It was all so quick! And, obviously, when you're in the honeymoon phase and you want to spend all your time together in the beginning, it's a bit hard when you're in different countries.

I love Brescia as a place, but I was pretty unhappy because I lived in collegio, and I thought it would be like halls in England... but it wasn't. It was run by nuns, I had an 11pm curfew, and I wasn't allowed guests. I'd love to take the boy back there one day, though, and make him eat lots of ice cream!

I'm sorry about your boyfriend! Mine's kind of the same. He's at medical school at the moment (which in itself is a pretty big commitment), and it takes over your life. I want him to be happy and do what he wants to do, but I want a normal life, too.

It's a cliché, but if it's meant to happen, it will, and if it doesn't - well, hopefully you've got a nice friendship there.

Sorry but your in one. you can deny it all you like - but you talk every day, you have feelings for each other, when your together "things happen" you rely on each other, trust each other, have no interest in anyone else

Your in a relationship but but are "technically single"

your problem is that you could find someone else and one or the other gets hurt

Does anyone have any experience in LDRs with very long intervals apart? Like 5 months?

How do you get through such a long time apart? It seems the only way is to get on with it and keep busy, but how do you get through all those times when it feels like you can't do it anymore?

Does anyone have any experience in LDRs with very long intervals apart? Like 5 months?

How do you get through such a long time apart? It seems the only way is to get on with it and keep busy, but how do you get through all those times when it feels like you can't do it anymore?

I see! I was in one of those during my first year too..hated it -.-''' especially cause you can't invite people over. Takes the fun away. But it's awesome that you made it through that time! I can relate, the same happened to me when I went back to Rome but I'm very very crappy with the distance! I would like to see him every month or two months, but it has never happened so far, due to committment and money issues.

Mine doesn't seem to understand this whenever I say that, he says that our relationship is just as serious as others. I agree with this, of course we are serious! but it's different when you can actually see each other (almost) every day, no?

I was apart from my boyfriend for four months, not five, but during that time we barely spoke at all as he was on a navy voyage. We could send one email a day to each other and got to text/call each other about once a month, and that was it communication-wise.

Aside from keeping busy and basically 'getting on with it' as you've said, I found that the best thing to do when I felt super down (i.e. on my birthday and our two-year anniversary, both of which happened when he was away, ugh ) was to surround myself with friends and family who made me feel so much better. Try and keep in contact as much as you can, too, obviously! I don't think I'd have found my four month separation from my guy anywhere near as horrendous if we'd been able to speak to each other over the internet or if we'd had more opportunity to text and call. Having something to look forward to also really helped me (aside from the prospect of seeing him again) because we'd booked a holiday to Paris before he went away, and I used to think of that whenever I felt down. With that length of separation, though, you just have to accept that there will be times when you feel horribly down about it all, but that feeling does pass, trust me.