Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.
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I binged last night. Any advice for getting back on the horse? I know I should try and immediately get back to normal and try and eat today but I really, really don't want to. I keep thinking if I don't eat today then it'll cancel out the binge and I can get back to being normal tommorrow. But that's not normal, right? I don't know. If I do have slip-ups and binge and I don't compensate like I usually do, surely that's just going to take me from something like bulimia to binge eating disorder and all that's going to happen is I'll be just as ****ed up AND fatter. I don't know how to make this better 
Antiaris, perhaps it was a moment of poor clarity. I had a meltdown moment to my therapist and fellow recovering anorexic support team. They all assured me this phase is NORMAL. As previously stated it is my body simply having a reverse momentum effect. When a rubber band is pulled so far in one direction, it naturally pings in the opposite direction to the strength it was pulled. Thus, if you restrict harder, your body retains, desperately craves, and desires harder.
When one restricts, it is like pulling harder and harder on that elastic band, and the ramifications and results are only the result of how far you pulled...
When one restricts, it is like pulling harder and harder on that elastic band, and the ramifications and results are only the result of how far you pulled...
Original post by Anonymous
I binged last night. Any advice for getting back on the horse? I know I should try and immediately get back to normal and try and eat today but I really, really don't want to. I keep thinking if I don't eat today then it'll cancel out the binge and I can get back to being normal tommorrow. But that's not normal, right? I don't know. If I do have slip-ups and binge and I don't compensate like I usually do, surely that's just going to take me from something like bulimia to binge eating disorder and all that's going to happen is I'll be just as ****ed up AND fatter. I don't know how to make this better
Don't worry about an occasional slip up. It's not the falling over, it's the getting up that counts. The body is amazing at regulating itself, eat normally afterwards. If you respond to normal eating times and cues your body will accomodate the extra calories. A few pieces of research have come out specifically for that fact recently.
What you NEED to do is try and find out what is the root cause of the binges. What emotions are going through your head when they happen? What do you feel? What would you rate your self-confidence levels as when they happen? Keep a diary of these times. Is it a coping strategy? Then release the pent up emotions in another way.
If you decide not to eat you are setting yourself up for another failure. You are responding to the emotional cues and are not listening to the logical part of your consciousness. I personally find reciting the square number helps me get into the logical zone, whatever works for you.
Breathe. And move on.
Original post by Riku
I guess it could be we have too great expectations for the future? The feeling that recovery will bring about some amazing transformation in our lives and we'll learn how to never be tired or upset or afraid ever again,, when it's not really that- it's learning how to deal with these overwhelming emotions and not blame ourselves for them. Not to act but let it be and make the most of what we do have. And I guess, what we both have now, is a hell of a lot better than being three feet under or stuck on a feeding tube. And actually, whatever I've done today, it's still a beautiful day outside and I'm gonna go play. I hope you do too, Jazzy 
x
I guess it could be we have too great expectations for the future? The feeling that recovery will bring about some amazing transformation in our lives and we'll learn how to never be tired or upset or afraid ever again,, when it's not really that- it's learning how to deal with these overwhelming emotions and not blame ourselves for them. Not to act but let it be and make the most of what we do have. And I guess, what we both have now, is a hell of a lot better than being three feet under or stuck on a feeding tube. And actually, whatever I've done today, it's still a beautiful day outside and I'm gonna go play. I hope you do too, Jazzy xPerhaps, that's crossed my mind before. Recovering is the best thing I've ever done though because you realise how much you took simple things for granted. I definitely agree
it's just hard to be grateful for what we do have sometimes, as I'm sure you'll know. You sound so positive! I hope you have a great time. Enjoy the sun. It will help you appreciate stuff and really calm you down with regards to exams and anxiety. I already have just had a nice walk round part of my campus to soak in the rays! Have a good day xOriginal post by Anonymous
First time posting here... I don't really know what to say. I think the thing that I'm most troubled by is my sheer obsession with food. I've wasted whole days and days online looking at food shops, recipes, etc, of things that I am not even going to consider buying or eating. I've taken to tracking every single calorie that goes into my mouth, and every meal time comes with a very bizarre mixture of anticipation and dread.
I don't think it's an eating disorder, just a diet that I'm maybe a little too obsessed over. This is the first time I've ever said anything about this "out loud" as it were, so I suppose this post is really just for me. I'm finding it really hard with exams and things just now, hopefully I'll feel normal after they're done.
I don't think it's an eating disorder, just a diet that I'm maybe a little too obsessed over. This is the first time I've ever said anything about this "out loud" as it were, so I suppose this post is really just for me. I'm finding it really hard with exams and things just now, hopefully I'll feel normal after they're done.
Well done for actually being able to post
it takes a lot of strength to do that. I used to do the same and to be honest, even though I'm recovered I still calorie count as well because once you've had an ED, some of it still remains (although now I calorie count to make sure I get enough...but it would be nice to just eat and that's that). It can be a slippery slope. Initially, mine started out as a very controlled diet and I knew absolutely everything about what I was eating but there was the guilt too. Exams really set these things off because in a way, controlling what we eat can make us feel better during periods of stress. I hope things improve for you after your exams. Remember, we're all here to help in this thread so feel free to post x
Gosh, its hard to post on here, but Im giving it a go. All the stories here are truly inspirational and I really bow down to everyone who has shown so much strength.
Im nash by the way, and a year ago I was admitted into a clinic for having an eating disorder. I was 5'4 and weighed well not much. I was put on a diet plan which was super hard to stick to. But I passed my fitness test in October and I left the clinic in Nov 2011, and since then things have been so tough. I suffer from tachycardia and sometimes, things get on top of me and I forget to eat. I have also been diagnosed with acute depression and I take depression tablets for all of this.
The reason I stopped eating was because of the society I was in. I was living in a family with 3 older sisters who were constantly praised for their figures and beauty. I was referred to as a dumpling by my grandad. My family were never horrible to me, but I was sensitive and took things in the wrong way. I went to extremes to tell my mum I was revising so could I eat in my room and then I'd bin the food. One day my dad insisted I eat with everyone and I put a newspaper on my lap and when my family werent looking, I'd put food on my lap. I was the last to leave the table as I could not get up with the food on my lap, and I wrapped it all up and binned it.
I didnt go to school and I got kicked out for poor attendance. That was when my mum realised I had problems and she took me to the emergency room.
When I came back home after the emergency room, the guilt I felt for putting my mum through so much was unsurpassable and I (as a stupid girl) overdosed on parecotomol...well I tried. I just ended up throwing up and my mum took a day off work to nurse me. This made me feel even more guilty, and my hole just kept getting deeper.
All of this has been hard on my mum and dad who have been doing their best to get me through such difficult times, but I am a lot better now.
At the moment I am living at home and just geting things back on track. I was supposed to go to university last year, but my doctor advised me to stay at home as I was not ready to live on my own.
xxx
Good luck for all those of you who are fighting, and together we'll all be okay <3 much love to all. xxxx
Im nash by the way, and a year ago I was admitted into a clinic for having an eating disorder. I was 5'4 and weighed well not much. I was put on a diet plan which was super hard to stick to. But I passed my fitness test in October and I left the clinic in Nov 2011, and since then things have been so tough. I suffer from tachycardia and sometimes, things get on top of me and I forget to eat. I have also been diagnosed with acute depression and I take depression tablets for all of this.
The reason I stopped eating was because of the society I was in. I was living in a family with 3 older sisters who were constantly praised for their figures and beauty. I was referred to as a dumpling by my grandad. My family were never horrible to me, but I was sensitive and took things in the wrong way. I went to extremes to tell my mum I was revising so could I eat in my room and then I'd bin the food. One day my dad insisted I eat with everyone and I put a newspaper on my lap and when my family werent looking, I'd put food on my lap. I was the last to leave the table as I could not get up with the food on my lap, and I wrapped it all up and binned it.
I didnt go to school and I got kicked out for poor attendance. That was when my mum realised I had problems and she took me to the emergency room.
When I came back home after the emergency room, the guilt I felt for putting my mum through so much was unsurpassable and I (as a stupid girl) overdosed on parecotomol...well I tried. I just ended up throwing up and my mum took a day off work to nurse me. This made me feel even more guilty, and my hole just kept getting deeper.
All of this has been hard on my mum and dad who have been doing their best to get me through such difficult times, but I am a lot better now.
At the moment I am living at home and just geting things back on track. I was supposed to go to university last year, but my doctor advised me to stay at home as I was not ready to live on my own.
xxx
Good luck for all those of you who are fighting, and together we'll all be okay <3 much love to all. xxxx
Original post by Anonymous
I binged last night. Any advice for getting back on the horse? I know I should try and immediately get back to normal and try and eat today but I really, really don't want to. I keep thinking if I don't eat today then it'll cancel out the binge and I can get back to being normal tommorrow. But that's not normal, right? I don't know. If I do have slip-ups and binge and I don't compensate like I usually do, surely that's just going to take me from something like bulimia to binge eating disorder and all that's going to happen is I'll be just as ****ed up AND fatter. I don't know how to make this better
When I was in a rehabilitation clinic for an eating disorder, I was put on a diet plan. I obviously didnt want to do it, but I had nurses who were supporting me through it and it took me a while but I managed to voluntarily eat. I think you need to seek help for your issues, because you shouldnt have to feel this way. Everyone is beautiful by the way, it just takes courage to show your beauty. Honestly, I advise you to take baby steps. go to your GP first and see what he'she says. If you dont want to do that, talk to friends and family. You may think that they dont care and they'll not understand, but you wont believe the support system you'll get. If you still dont want to do that, try seeking a councillor at your local hospital. You will need people to support you in your fight =) If you need anything, Im here on TSR x
Original post by Antiaris
Don't worry about an occasional slip up. It's not the falling over, it's the getting up that counts. The body is amazing at regulating itself, eat normally afterwards. If you respond to normal eating times and cues your body will accomodate the extra calories. A few pieces of research have come out specifically for that fact recently.
What you NEED to do is try and find out what is the root cause of the binges. What emotions are going through your head when they happen? What do you feel? What would you rate your self-confidence levels as when they happen? Keep a diary of these times. Is it a coping strategy? Then release the pent up emotions in another way.
If you decide not to eat you are setting yourself up for another failure. You are responding to the emotional cues and are not listening to the logical part of your consciousness. I personally find reciting the square number helps me get into the logical zone, whatever works for you.
Breathe. And move on.
What you NEED to do is try and find out what is the root cause of the binges. What emotions are going through your head when they happen? What do you feel? What would you rate your self-confidence levels as when they happen? Keep a diary of these times. Is it a coping strategy? Then release the pent up emotions in another way.
If you decide not to eat you are setting yourself up for another failure. You are responding to the emotional cues and are not listening to the logical part of your consciousness. I personally find reciting the square number helps me get into the logical zone, whatever works for you.
Breathe. And move on.
Original post by nash_4_lyf
When I was in a rehabilitation clinic for an eating disorder, I was put on a diet plan. I obviously didnt want to do it, but I had nurses who were supporting me through it and it took me a while but I managed to voluntarily eat. I think you need to seek help for your issues, because you shouldnt have to feel this way. Everyone is beautiful by the way, it just takes courage to show your beauty. Honestly, I advise you to take baby steps. go to your GP first and see what he'she says. If you dont want to do that, talk to friends and family. You may think that they dont care and they'll not understand, but you wont believe the support system you'll get. If you still dont want to do that, try seeking a councillor at your local hospital. You will need people to support you in your fight =) If you need anything, Im here on TSR x
Thank you both
Managed half a sandwich and a bit of juice so far, which isn't quite a normal day's eating but it's a lot better than fasting which is what I would usually do.I am just going to succinctly say it-
It is amazing, regardless of how cynical I become, how amazing the human spirit is in its pursuit of healing others.
It is amazing, regardless of how cynical I become, how amazing the human spirit is in its pursuit of healing others.
Hit a little bit of a milestone today? After having a what I would have previously deemed a binge day yesterday (below recommendatory woman's intake but above my BMR - not enough but I gain from this due to metabolism) I got up this morning and had a normal day of eating (with a yummy malteasers ice cream for fun), and feel fine! I might be starting to develop a maintainable healthy routine with wriggle-room for special occasions. I don't how much i'll be advised to gain yet, though.
And wtf is this energy?! It's a strange feeling, like, tapping along to music because I can. Chatting away because it's easy. I hope I can look back on my former self with nothing but pity for the fact that I couldn't even do that before. How sad Uni has really helped me because I can become whatever I want. I want to be a positive, happy, healthy person! (Not sure I want to go home but I have to =/)
And wtf is this energy?! It's a strange feeling, like, tapping along to music because I can. Chatting away because it's easy. I hope I can look back on my former self with nothing but pity for the fact that I couldn't even do that before. How sad
Uni has really helped me because I can become whatever I want. I want to be a positive, happy, healthy person! (Not sure I want to go home but I have to =/)(edited 11 years ago)
I've got a new tactic: calories no longer exist to me. If they don't exist then they can't be bad, right? And I don't need to worry about certain foods (i.e. carbohydrates) because there's no calories 
This even worked in Greggs earlier, bought a sandwich, saw they had the calories printed on the display stand next to the price, but I got undercharged so I figured if the price is a lie then so is the calories
I doubt that made any sense to anyone but it seems to be working for me, I've even managed to eat peanut butter
This even worked in Greggs earlier, bought a sandwich, saw they had the calories printed on the display stand next to the price, but I got undercharged so I figured if the price is a lie then so is the calories
I doubt that made any sense to anyone but it seems to be working for me, I've even managed to eat peanut butter
Original post by Cinnie
Hit a little bit of a milestone today? After having a what I would have previously deemed a binge day yesterday (below recommendatory woman's intake but above my BMR - not enough but I gain from this due to metabolism) I got up this morning and had a normal day of eating (with a yummy malteasers ice cream for fun), and feel fine! I might be starting to develop a maintainable healthy routine with wriggle-room for special occasions. I don't how much i'll be advised to gain yet, though.
And wtf is this energy?! It's a strange feeling, like, tapping along to music because I can. Chatting away because it's easy. I hope I can look back on my former self with nothing but pity for the fact that I couldn't even do that before. How sad Uni has really helped me because I can become whatever I want. I want to be a positive, happy, healthy person! (Not sure I want to go home but I have to =/)
And wtf is this energy?! It's a strange feeling, like, tapping along to music because I can. Chatting away because it's easy. I hope I can look back on my former self with nothing but pity for the fact that I couldn't even do that before. How sad
Uni has really helped me because I can become whatever I want. I want to be a positive, happy, healthy person! (Not sure I want to go home but I have to =/)Well done Cinnie! Ice cream is one of the best things ever, glad you enjoyed it
Energy? It's amazing how much you have when you start eating again. You'll soon find you can literally do anything you put your mind to because you have enough energy. I'm glad you're enjoying it, long may it continue! Don't lament over the past because you can't change it, just look forward to the future and enjoy the present! x
Original post by natalie122
Just by any chance is anyone watching 'My big fat fetish' on ch4, and finding it very uncomfortable to watch, as it seems to me as encouraging eating disorders on the other extreme side of the spectrum? :s
I've just unfriended multiple people on facebook because they're posting statuses mocking the people on the programme.
I find that most weight programmes on TV are just so badly done and triggering that it's not worth watching them.
Attack of the nutty thoughts 1 hour before an exam. Cheers for that.
Blahhh
Ah well
PRSOM to Cinnie, Toto and Etoile btw
Spoiler
Blahhh
Ah well
PRSOM to Cinnie, Toto and Etoile btw
The awkward moment where you're sat right at the front of the room because you're resitting the paper, get halfway through the listenen material and nearly bawl your eyes out over the topic being discussed. Yet everyone else in the room is fine.
Well, guess I'm no longer the "super-healthy" kid.
The hard part's keeping together for a few weeks while I wait for an opening on the team and carrying on now as if nothing was wrong...
Spoiler
The hard part's keeping together for a few weeks while I wait for an opening on the team and carrying on now as if nothing was wrong...
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Riku
x
Original post by .snowflake.
x
*hugs* to both of you and you are amazing at getting through your exams with everything that happened.
---
I have some questions about weight gain and my blood tests, i'm going to spoiler them for weights and just sounding like an complete loon
Spoiler
I am trying to rationalise this and there must be a way so can someone please slap me? lol
Original post by Cinnie
*hugs* to both of you and you are amazing at getting through your exams with everything that happened.
---
I have some questions about weight gain and my blood tests, i'm going to spoiler them for weights and just sounding like an complete loon
I am trying to rationalise this and there must be a way so can someone please slap me? lol
---
I have some questions about weight gain and my blood tests, i'm going to spoiler them for weights and just sounding like an complete loon
Spoiler
I am trying to rationalise this and there must be a way so can someone please slap me? lol
Have you just begun to up calories? During clinical studies of recovering anorexics they don't actually take into consideration the first 2-3 weeks of weight gain due to (a) The body gains quickly at the very beginning due to (b) The body rehydrates every single cell and for every gram gained there will be 4 grams in water.
Your metabolism at this point IS going to be stunted, but not by as much as you believe and it does pick up quickly. During recovery this can even lead to HYPERthyroidism and the person ends up losing the weight that they gained in the first place after a few weeks (Happened to myself). This weight you then need to regain BACK.
Original post by Antiaris
Have you just begun to up calories? During clinical studies of recovering anorexics they don't actually take into consideration the first 2-3 weeks of weight gain due to (a) The body gains quickly at the very beginning due to (b) The body rehydrates every single cell and for every gram gained there will be 4 grams in water.
Your metabolism at this point IS going to be stunted, but not by as much as you believe and it does pick up quickly. During recovery this can even lead to HYPERthyroidism and the person ends up losing the weight that they gained in the first place after a few weeks (Happened to myself). This weight you then need to regain BACK.
Your metabolism at this point IS going to be stunted, but not by as much as you believe and it does pick up quickly. During recovery this can even lead to HYPERthyroidism and the person ends up losing the weight that they gained in the first place after a few weeks (Happened to myself). This weight you then need to regain BACK.
Yep i've more than doubled my calories within the last week - i'm drinking less water than I was before, but I guess that's because the food is providing things now. My doctor just called me which i'm really pleased about (the receptionist said they didn't do things like that and laughed at me, and which is ridiculous). He said things were a bit "iffy" especially with the white blood cells
Anyway I asked about my thyroid test (which they did do - so I feel a bit silly now) and he said it's functioning ok, but i'm lacking a certain hormone which could affect its function in the future but it's not an immediate problem.
So I can now get rid of the 'my body is just strange and needs half of a normal person' idea
I'm really p*ssing myself off at the moment. Have recently become a vegetarian (was a pescetarian during recovery as my family wanted to be sure I was strong enough to be a healthy veggie!) It is due to moral reasons. Anyway, read a thing about pesto not being veggie and was like what the hell? So started researching other things that seem veggie but aren't but there is loads of it is/it isn't out there and I'm starting to get nervous around food again (went to cafe for lunch and had a roast veg baguette -it came with mozzarella and although the guy assured me it was vegetarian I was still really worried!) Anyway, don't know quite how to deal with the nervousness/veggie thing, any other veggies out there who can help? Thanks!
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