When should I tell my parents I'm on anti-depressants?

I've been very depressed for the past month or so, it's not a new experience to me, I’ve had periods like this since I was about 14 or 15. But since I've been at university my depression has been a lot worse and much more disabling. I've barely left my bed for the past month; if I do it's usually only to go to the shop to stock up on the junk food I can't stop eating. I get scared to see my housemates because I might have to talk to them, I hate being in crowded places, people (especially happy people) make me angry and nervous. I haven't been able to concentrate on anything so my uni work has gone out the window, and I'm probably going to fail my exam on Monday if I manage to turn up. I'm also pretty much always on the verge of tears, if I see something that reminds me of my family I'll probably start to cry because I miss them and worry about them, I'm constantly worried that my parents are going to die, and the other day I even cried about how sweet-natured and lovely my Labrador is!

Two weeks ago I went to the drop in clinic at my doctors and broke down in tears to the poor unsuspecting nurse! I told her how I was feeling and she sent me to see the doctor who put me on 5mg cipralex, and told me to see the student life centre about my missed deadlines and to make an appointment with a counsellor. She also filled out a mitigating evidence form for me, so hopefully I will have the late penalty taken off my work so long as I get it in before the end of term. I saw the doctor again this week and she increased my dose to 10mg. So far I've only felt really tired and that's it. I did manage to do a little bit of work today though so I suppose there must be some improvement.

I also had my reception interview with a counsellor yesterday. I felt pretty calm going in, a bit nervous wondering what we were going to talk about, but nothing major. Then as soon as she started asking me questions about my family I was in tears again. She said it's normal for someone who's had a disrupted childhood to feel the feelings come up again during times of stress, which uni definitely is. My mum had two strokes when I was about 8 so me and my brothers were split up and lived with different family friends for a while whilst she was in Southampton in hospital with my dad. I do feel stupid about saying thats the reason I’m depressed because I have friends who have had much more disrupted childhoods and they are absolutely fine.

I think my mum sort of knows that I'm not happy, when I was about 15/16 I used to cut myself, my mum found out when I was 17/18 because she saw the scars on my arm, she was really angry and upset and said that she wasn't going to tell my dad because he'd think she'd let him down as my mother. I still have no idea whether my Dad or brothers know, I don’t really show my arms that much so I don’t know if they’ve seen. My counsellor said that I need to tell my parents how I'm feeling because I'm distancing myself from them by not, but I'm really scared to tell my mum in case she blames herself, like she did when I cut myself. Also I'm going travelling this summer, and I don't want to tell them before I go in case they stop me from going somehow. On the other hand I hate keeping it all to myself, I've tried talking to my friends but they don't really understand how depressed I've been and how much it's affected my day-to-day life. Should I tell my parents that I’m on anti-depressants or not? Should I tell them before I go away or after? Any advice would be much appreciated, and thank you for bothering to read all of that!

I'm facing up to telling my parents everything about my depression over the next week or so, and I know exactly how you feel in terms of worrying that your mum won't take it very well. It's scary, but everyone keeps telling me I need to tell them - and I think although the short-term effects of it will be horrible, it can only be positive in the long-term. I'd wager that you're in a similar situation, so I think you should probably tell your parents as well.

One thing my friend said to me that has helped was that if my mum gets upset and blames herself/my dad/me then that's her problem; it's nothing to do with me and I don't need to listen to her if she's going to make me feel bad about anything. Your parents are only human, and yes, they may react badly. But they'll come round eventually and should be able to support you while you're dealing with this depression, which can only benefit you in the long run.

Another thing that stuck with me was my head of year telling me that I'm not allowing my mum to be a mother to me unless I tell her everything. Even if your mum takes it badly at first, at the end of the day, she's your mum - she loves you and only wants what's best for you!

I reckon you'd be better off telling them everything before you go away, because you'll be able to stop worrying about it, and if they react badly you'll be able to get away from home for a bit. Do you have any friends who might be willing to let you crash at their homes for a week or two if you can't face being at home once you've told them? It's important to have that kind of support in place so that you don't feel totally trapped by everything.

Good luck with everything, I hope it goes well for you

Thanks for your reply! Everything you said makes sense! I would really like to tell my family, I just don't want them to freak out about it or treat me differently! How are you thinking of broaching the topic with your parents if you don't mind me asking? It's a scary thing to do. When my mum found out I used to self harm I thought she'd send me to a doctor or something but we've just pretended like it never happened, I guess she might do the same again and that wouldn't be too bad!

i'm in the same position. I've been put on anti depressants and its getting harder to hide it from my parents. My friend says they'll support me no matter what but i'm scared they wont and will treat me differently from my sister.I get it, its a hard decision and my parents know somethings up because im not myself but its affecting my school work and job as well. I don't know I going to tell my parents really but i'll have to at some point I guess. Good luck with your decision and hope it goes well!!