How common are non-jealous girls?

I'm not jealous/possessive at all. One of my friend's girlfriends is though, she wont talk to any of us (his female friends) even though we all have our own boyfriends.

Depends.
A girl is likely to be possessive if:
- she is insecure
- she's been treated badly in the past
- she is self-destructive (goes for guys she knows isn't right for her and wait for something bad to happen)
- her boyfriend gives her reason to be
- her boyfriend is constantly placing himself in situations where he is likely/has the option to cheat and/or travels a lot, meets many people etc.

It's a combination of finding the right girl, behaving in such a way that she feels like she can trust you (rather than accusing her of being crazy, which is a sign of guilt).
It's also a matter of girls finding a guy that is right for them. I'm not a halfway-there girl, I don't want to be "kind of" seeing someone, it's either a fling or something serious. I've dated a guy who worked a LOT and met new people through work all the time. Even though I believed him to be a good guy, it puts your relationship at risk. I've also seen through friends, that guys who travel, have many connections and in particular female connections, leave girlfriends quicker, as they have a more direct experience of many girls there are out there. Some guys would never cheat, some guys will always cheat, some guys will cheat given the opportunity. The saying that "if he's a cheater, he'll always find a way" is not true. Not all guys have girls throwing themselves at them and not all guys have the opportunity to have an affair abroad - so having a guy with all those opportunities, it may happen. You can say relationships are based on trust - but as most women have experienced, guys can give Oscar-worthy performances in terms of affection and love and be out the door the next moment. You can't trust anyone but yourself. I also prefer "men's men" who often have mostly male friends - not because female friends put me off, but because their personalities are often more compatible with mine, being a "girl's girl". If girls are constantly writing on a guy's wall or contacting him, it doesn't necessarily mean he's cheating, but it says something about what kind of signs he's sending girls and how they are not concerned with whoever he's dating. Believe me, a lot of girls with male friends are very interested in keeping their male "friend" single (see: female dog whistle).
A lot of men are jealous too, but men hate feeling jealous so much that they'll take charge. A lot of guys won't stay in relationships where they feel jealous.
I'm not particularly jealous in relationships, simply because I steer clear of men with a behavior that can be interpreted as sketchy. The first phases of dating is the time where you should find out a person's pattern and how "open" they are with their lives. If I feel like a guy is hiding his phone/computer around me, has ambiguous facebook comments/posts or regularly goes out giving no message of what he's up to, I'll reconsider taking it further with him. Sure he might be ok, but there are 3 billion men on the planet so no reason why I should date a man who leaves me doubtful.

Most girls I know aren't "possessive". Perhaps you need to get to know a girl better before you choose whether to pursue a relationship with her.

My previous partner got pissed because I wasn't jealous enough :3

i.e I let him do pretty much whatever he wanted because I trusted him totally. Once he got drunk and kissed someone else. It tortured him to tell me but when he did I shrugged and said 'is that it?' and made jokes (not proud). He accused me of not caring about him and being too relaxed about it all etc. That's not why he left but it didn't help.

Sooo... which would you rather prefer? Someone who is possessive or someone who isn't at all?

The case with my current boyfriend: he's actually so in love with me he wouldn't think of anyone else, I truly believe that. Because I know him and the things he's gone through with/for me (not that I put any of those obstacles intentionally). In fact, tomorrow he's going out of town for 3 days to see a gig and apparently will share a room with 3 girls (that is all they could find in the last minute). Call it whatever you want, but I just can't get myself to be mad or jealous about it. Especially when he's been so open about it from the very beginning.

No offense, but you sound quite arrogant for a girl. You'll get an almighty shock one day when he does cheat on you, then you'll be knocked from that pedestal you've put yourself on.

The fact you weren't that bothered that he kissed someone else to me....shows that you didn't really care enough about him in the first place.

Jealousy is an emotion to show that you would actually care if his lips were locked with someone elses.

What exactly would you get jealous by?

Hope no offence caused, just rare to hear from a girl who doesn't get jealous of her partner kissing other women.

Tbh I think it just shows that we care and that we are just keeping you in line. I have all my boyfriends passwords and regularly check his emails and facebook and block girls who I think are trying to distract him from me. It is all in the interest of protecting our love life and not jealousy.

No offense, but you sound quite arrogant for a girl. You'll get an almighty shock one day when he does cheat on you, then you'll be knocked from that pedestal you've put yourself on.

lol at guys on this forum

You all moan when girls dont trust you and then BAM as soon as a gf trusts her bf then its 'you shouldnt trust him, hes going to cheat on you'

Ever occured to you that some people trust their patners, some people are in love and that some people simply wouldnt cheat?

that's always what happens. first they want girls who trust guys, and then when they find one, they're like "he's gonna cheat on you!" *eyeroll*

Wow, what is wrong with you? You actually block people for him? I feel so sorry for your boyfriend.
The bit ive put in bold is jealously, you've just tried to make it sound better to justify it to yourself.

To the OP
I think the if a girl becomes jealous is dependant on how she is treated by her boyfriends. If a girl goes out with two guys who have cheated on her she is going to be far more jealous than someone who has only had lovely, considerate boyfriends.

For me, my ex tried to make me jealous by flirting with other girls (he admitted this to me after we broke up) and it made me quite insecure and jealous during that relationship. He said he was convinced that i was going to leave him and that i had cheated on him (both wrong, i never looked at anyone else during our relationship).

Had he not told me that he was flirting intentionally to make me jealous and told me his motives for doing so, i probably would have still carried on being a jealous gf to other guys. However being told that it was him and wasnt me being jealous for no reason meant i could then move on and trust that not everyone would do that.

Currently i couldnt care which females my new bf meets up with and talks to, i dont feel the need to look at every female which posts on his fb page or texts him and since he has never given me a reason to not trust him then i dont go looking for one and we are both happy.

x

I think I am worth it and if he wants he can leave me, afterall If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure don't deserve me at my best .

I think I am worth it and if he wants he can leave me, afterall If you can't handle me at my worst, you sure don't deserve me at my best .

I'm really not that jealous at all, me and my boyfriend have always had separate lives and we don't interfere with the others. He knows that I'm busy, I know that he'a busy. If we're suspicious about something, we talk it out, sort it and move on.

We trust eachother implicitly do there's no need for either of us to be jealous of other people. If a girl flirts with him, I take the mick and he does it likewise! I think we're a bit odd xD


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