Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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I feel sometimes like my anxiety problems and eating disorder vie for attention - one day I'll be so anxious I can't leave the house, but I'll eat (relatively) normally, other days I'm anxiety free but can't even bear to think of eating. It's very odd.

Reply 4221

Anonymous #100

Original post by rubixcyoob

I know and I keep telling myself this, but it doesn't seem to help. It's not that I feel as though I am starving myself, because I don't feel hungry - I really don't feel the need to eat anymore, there's no pangs. I run around all day after him and I just don't et because I can't sit down - today this is the first time I've sat down and it's to workout (30day shred, needs done). I've just not got hungry and I can't seem to force myself otherwise.

Thank you though, for the kind words xx

Your posts frighten me.

It's bad enough reading everyone else's experiences, but to think a mother is starving herself is awful. You NEED to be healthy to look after your son. If you carry on like this, he'll grow up without his mum. Harsh or too blunt? I apologise but maybe that's what you need. 600kcals a day and going to the gym, that's not healthy. You're in denial if you think you're not hungry or don't need food.

Please, for the sake of your poor son, get help before it's too late. He doesn't deserve to have to see his Mum being buried.

Reply 4222

TotoMimo

Anonymous, this is why I felt compelled to pipe up so quickly; with me, I am hurting myself with my ED. I am killing MYSELF. But when someone who DEPENDS on you is potentially going to be endangered outwith their control by someone's ED actions, it becomes a whole other tier of dangerous.

Reply 4223

TotoMimo

Oh, a musing for the day -

Speaking with my psychiatrist yesterday I discussed with her why it is that some people never even make one step towards positive life recovery, and having the epiphany of "cognitive shifting" -

We created our own ED. We created the rules, the regulations, through our minds. The ED IS ONLY AS STRONG AS YOU HAVE CREATED IT, AND ALLOWED YOURSELF TO BELIEVE IT IS.

Reply 4224

Anonymous #39

Hi everyone :smile:

I've posted in here a few times but not for a while now, so I thought I'd stop by and tell you that things are going really, really well. Over the past few months I've binged a handful of times and I've picked myself up straight back up again afterwards. I've been eating three proper meals and a reasonable number of calories pretty reliably almost every day and I'm getting to the point now where I don't have to plan it all in advance and I can eat out without researching the lowest cal dish in the resteraunt first, or go to my boyfriend's house and let him make me a sandwich. The thing is, it all started with stupidly small steps. Before I could go a month without binging, I had to go three days, and then a week, and then two weeks. Before I could happily eat spontaneous meals out with friends, I had my first ever pick and mix, not because I was sad or lonely or hated myself, but because I just FELT like having some goddamn pick and mix, and I didn't binge afterwards. And I don't know about you guys, but at first I felt stupid and pathetic for being proud of such tiny baby steps, but the thing is, those baby steps legitimately lead somewhere awesome eventually and we all completely deserve to be proud of them, no matter how tiny those victories seem to everyone else. Keep on going :smile:

Reply 4225

Anonymous #100

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2193367/Anorexia-Doctors-let-woman-die-judge-rules-force-feeding-alive-best-interests.html

An interesting and shocking article in the DM today. The woman in question weighs just over 3st.

Reading this made me realise, I don't want this anymore. I don't want to end up like that. I want a life for myself, starting today. I can beat this.

Reply 4226

Anonymous #48

Original post by Anonymous

Awful

I don't know how I feel about this to be honest - on the one hand, she must be suffering mentally so badly, on the other I truly believe that *anyone* can recover, and her refusal to do so should be treated the same as if she'd been taken into A+E having overdosed on medication :dontknow:

I hope she finds peace soon :frown:

Reply 4227

MelissaJayne

Didn't even want to read it. I try to avoid stories etc on people with EDs, I never know what impact it might have on me. Sadly, it's a competitive/comparative disease. We all have our own fight, our own struggles and we can support/encourage one and other to get better but ultimately..it has to be YOU to overcome it.

Reply 4228

TotoMimo

Absolutely, Melissa. Scarily a mental disorder, and the people with them, are never the same in any two cases. You created the demon, you decide how it will affect you; whether subconsciously or otherwise.

The strongest man on earth can be crippled by his thoughts, but equally a 3st woman has the potential to recover through spirit alone.

Reply 4229

letsdothetimewarpagain

bad bad bad bad bad day. That feeling of your whole life crumbling around you? yep that sucks.

Reply 4230

.snowflake.

Original post by letsdothetimewarpagain

bad bad bad bad bad day. That feeling of your whole life crumbling around you? yep that sucks.

-huggging- and i'll make you a cup of tea. I don't care what the problem is, a cup of tea is the solution (I'm not accepting 'I don't like tea' as a valid response.).

Reply 4231

letsdothetimewarpagain

Original post by .snowflake.

-huggging- and i'll make you a cup of tea. I don't care what the problem is, a cup of tea is the solution (I'm not accepting 'I don't like tea' as a valid response.).

I like tea :teeth:

thank you

I have a watch that had 8 links taken off literally tuesday and it's already back at the point of being twistable around my whole wrist (it's bangle style) and there's only 3 links left on it :colonhash:

Reply 4232

GooglyEyedMonster

Original post by MelissaJayne

Just had a CBT appointment and made a few surprise realisations regarding what may have started my disorder. Although what's done is done, it kinda feels like a massive burden off my shoulders for it to make sense a bit more now. We'd come up with other ideas before that it could of been but nothing had really CLICKED. This one does though, feels kinda liberating to understand my own actions/brain functions. I hate how out of control of yourself and your thoughts an ED can make you feel.

I dunno the point of this post, random I guess. I just like that I feel I can be open. :biggrin:

Would you recommend CBT? I've been offered it for my final year ... I've had to spend a lot of time in hospital over the summer for my ED but I don't feel any more in control of it. Kind of worried I'll end up in square one in a couple of weeks /:

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 4233

letsdothetimewarpagain

I think the thing that is really doing my head in is just sheer confusion.

I've written 2 letters tonight, will never get sent but just typing how I feel really helps :o:

Reply 4234

MelissaJayne

Original post by GooglyEyedMonster

Yeah, I really would. I guess i'm a real creature of habit and I love routine etc, and this allowed me to get in a routine of coming to terms and overcoming the ED. It empowered me, like I was in charge of my own recovery.

Reply 4235

GooglyEyedMonster

Original post by MelissaJayne

I don't know if I'm ready for recovery ... That's what scares me I think. They tried to make me eat 'normally' for a week and I just couldn't do it and discharged myself. I thought I was ready so I agreed to try it. A healthy mindset just seems so, well, unhealthy.

It's like my safety, the one thing I'm in control of (in an out of control way). Most of my friends have just graduated because I've repeated a year so I know final year is going to be tough enough.

Did it cause you stress/anxiety for a long time after the session?

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 4236

MelissaJayne

Original post by GooglyEyedMonster

To be honest, your last post caused more stress to me than all of my sessions put together. Please, please, give yourself a chance.

Reply 4237

GooglyEyedMonster

Original post by MelissaJayne

To be honest, your last post caused more stress to me than all of my sessions put together. Please, please, give yourself a chance.

That really wasn't my intention, I'm sorry.

I move back in less than a week and although excited to see one of my best friends, I know the next 5 weeks are going to be intense. Not to mention my Dr here at home is useless and reduced all my anti-depressants. I will definitely give CBT a go if it's helped you so much, I want to do a postgrad but I want to be well enough to do it well

Xx

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

Reply 4238

MelissaJayne

Original post by GooglyEyedMonster

I think you should sweetie, even if it doesn't work out..you gave it a go. And you wont look back at any point like "what if.." - all my best wishes with you! X

Reply 4239

SailorCherries

I'm sorry if some of my posts have caused alarm to any members due to the nature of my circumstances, it wasn't my intention <3

I've binged this whole weekend and I feel like absolute crap as a result, however, I noticed my old tin of slimfast in the cupboard and I've decided I want to try it, but the real, healthy way.

So as of tomorrow I'm doing the whole 3-2-1 plan but cutting out the 3 '100Kcal Snacks' and replacing it for 'as much fruit/veg/fat free yogurt as I want', doing the 2 shakes and then having 1 meal a day, but bumping it up to 600-700kcal instead of 500kcal. However, I am going to be trying to eat healthy as well, so I'm going to follow my mums Slimming World Extra Easy foods for my healthy meal - lean meats, quorn, vegetables etc.

I'm adopting a whole clean eating approach as well, because before, restricting/binging/eating, I would eat whatever - no real thought went into it and it was absurdly unhealthy, but I want that to change.

I'm also going to reduce my exercise and focus more on toning and strength as opposed to pure cardio, as I know it will help me lose weight but this should help my body shape change in a positive way, into the way I want it to - instead of reducing me to nothing.

I know there will be bumps and restarts along the road, but I'm hoping I have the strength to pick myself back up and keep going until I am finally happy when I look in a mirror.