Muslim boyfriend, taking it to the next step/sex

So I've been with my muslim boyfriend for nearly 4 months now and I feel ready to have sex, and he's told me in the past that he would be willing to, but will it make him think less of me for giving it up outside of a marriage? How would having sex with me affect him (guilty for not following his religion?) I do not want to make his life difficult.
(His dad was born and raised in the UK and is quite liberal, he knows we're together, his mother was born and raised in Pakistan and has stronger values and does not know about us)

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Reply 1

Joeman560

So he will willingly do it but will think less of you for doing it? lolwut?

Just do it he will get over it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Joeman560

So he will willingly do it but will think less of you for doing it? lolwut?

Just do it he will get over it.

Possibly will see me as a girl to keep himself busy until his parents find him a nice muslim wife :dontknow:

Reply 3

play_fetch

If he is a devout Muslim he will probably think less of you afterward and not take you seriously i.e consider you marriage material... From what i know about Muslims, anyways.

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Reply 4

Anonymous #2

Im a muslim guy and I've slept with lots of girls, one night things and one GF that was a ****ty long relationship ages ago. Its upto him, not to his parents. doing actions like this is common for muslim guys, I guess you just gotta make sure you stick praying your daily prayers, that's most important.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Oh ps. I'm a christian girl.

Original post by Anonymous

Ahh it's nice to hear a point of view like this. All the P.O.V I seem to read come from non western muslims and I can't help but think it's a different scenario in, say, Pakistan, to Britain.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Original post by play_fetch

No thats crap. He'l think MORE of you if you share that sexual intimacy

Reply 7

Crystal Fighter

Original post by play_fetch

No thats crap. He'l think MORE of you if you share that sexual intimacy

Reply 8

lNurl

Original post by Anonymous

Sorry for asking that, is it your first bf? have u had sex before? If not, then he might think of you less even if you lose ur virginity to him. If he is not ur first, then he already not planning any serious relationship with u.

For others, who say it is his decision not parents and etc. You don't understand family values. If you have loving parents, that care for you (not the ones are always drunk, beats their children up), then why disappointing them? I could never change may parents to ANY other boy. Because if that boy (or anybody) loves me, this thanks to my parents.

Reply 9

lali333

Original post by Anonymous

Just out of curiosity...do you want to end up married to a "good" muslim girl?

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(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by lNurl

He's been my first everything, and vice versa.

Reply 11

Golden_Boy786

Can't it all wait after marriage. Just a possibility

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Reply 12

Anonymous #3

Haraam, but who am I to judge. IMO though, he probably wants you as a fling on the side. If he actually respected you and wanted to marry you, he'd wait. I'm sure being a Muslim he'd probably want to marry a virgin. He's just young and immature, when it comes to marriage he'll realise he wants a nice, "respectable" Muslim girl. Someone who has some worth. :dontknow:

This post misused the anon function. Before posting anonymously, please read the H&R guidelines - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki...ips_Guidelines

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 13

DeemzBeamz

Original post by Anonymous

It's his fault if anything goes wrong or his mother finds out. He's responsible for his own actions. Don't let him blame you. Let him make the move not you, otherwise itd be easy to put the blame on you if anything goes wrong.

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

Original post by lali333

Just out of curiosity...do you want to end up married to a "good" muslim girl?

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

In all honesty, I would like to do so. I prefer British Asian girls and reckon the are SMOKIN! but religious wise, I DO believe in God and do perform as many prayers as I can, so I would like someone similar or even a better influence. What happens in the past is the past, only strive to become better I guess.

Reply 15

0le

There are two types - people who want one night stands and people who have sex in relationships. (We won't go into the murky water of friends with benefits).

You are in a serious relationship, so if you can't discuss these things with your partner then you shouldn't be having sex. :/

Reply 16

Company Commissar

Original post by Blackshadow

This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my Nokia 3310.

Reply 17

Fuaadh0

If the guy respected you, he will wait until marriage (a marriage recognised islamically, so you would have to become a Muslim from your own will after reading about Islam and not for marrying this guy).

This relationship you have with this guy in Islam is forbidden (relationships before marriage) so from the looks he doesn't follow it.

So don't be suprised if he leaves you in a few months after he had everything from you and went on to marry a Muslim girl, this is what happens to so many non-Muslim girls out there who are used by these ***** who are just Muslim by name and then leave them when their parents find them a girl for marriage.. Me personally I know loads within my circle who have done this.

I'm a Muslim (practicing) myself btw and you can neg rep me but this is just advice im giving you, take it or leave it ur choice...

Reply 18

UkStudentWannabe

Original post by Fuaadh0

Actually, she wouldn't have to convert according to Islamic rules as long as she's one of the people of the book per say.. But it would probably make things easier..

Anyways... He might think less of you or not.. There are dicks who'll have sex with you and everything, but when it comes to settling down will only consider virgins..

Or he might have sex with you, but ultimately end up regretting going against his religion. But that's his problem then.

Just to cut a long story short: Being in a relationship with a muslim, especially if you aren't a muslim yourself, is difficult as heck..

You should have an honest conversation about this with your bf. Only he can tell you how he sees these issues. As someone has said before-

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