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Only 5 more sleeps til I see my boy :dance:
Boyfriend is at freshers... getting drunk every night, meeting new people, i'm at home and not at university this year. All I can think about is what he is up to and how drunk he may be... I trust him completely but I cant help the niggling feeling purely because it's a new feeling that i'm not there :/.
Eugh... I feel a bit crappy! Can't drag myself out of this hole of self pity :L
Hello, I feel like a bit of an imposter posting in here :blushing:

My boyfriend and I aren't in a massive long-distance relationship (he lives 20 miles away) but he works shifts and so seeing him isn't always predictable and when he's on nights I can't really see him.

I miss him insane amounts and that's why I'm here really as I thought talking to people might help with that! Got to be more productive than sitting round feeling sorry for myself anyway?

We've only been together a couple of months but things have been so intense and he is an amazing man... I've never felt this strongly about somebody I have quite literally fallen head over heels.

Anyway... if you don't mind me venting here I'd quite like to from time to time :smile:

Gracie x
Original post by Anonymous
Boyfriend is at freshers... getting drunk every night, meeting new people, i'm at home and not at university this year. All I can think about is what he is up to and how drunk he may be... I trust him completely but I cant help the niggling feeling purely because it's a new feeling that i'm not there :/.
Eugh... I feel a bit crappy! Can't drag myself out of this hole of self pity :L


I know this feeling 110%. I am feeling it right now! It's day 2 of my OH's freshers and I can't shake the worry. But I think you just have to remember that you've decided to give distance a go for a reason, and I'm sure when freshers dies down they'll realise how much they miss us! Having the self control not to constantly text him is difficult too, but my boyfriend has promised that he'll text me every night when he goes to sleep so that I know he's thinking of me and is ok - maybe that's something that might help?

Pm me if you need to chat, I understand completely. I just happen to be in a slightly positive place right now but give me an hour and I'm sure I'll be back to the worry and upset! Haha xxx


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Avatar for 22KT22
22KT22
15
Original post by CupcakeFaerie
Only 5 more sleeps til I see my boy :dance:


Same and he's here early on Friday :woo: Uber excited!
so i'm currently on my year abroad in russia with uni and i've been here a few weeks. it is great but of course i miss my boyfriend like crazy. my dilemma is that i'm going home for a few weeks at christmas and a couple of my friends were planning on coming back and going to st petersburg for new years. now i was really up for this because it should be beautiful and amazing, but then i realised it would be really really special if i spent new years with my boyfriend because we got together last new years so it would be a bit like our first anniversary. now i don't know what to do - any advice? what would you do? thanks :smile:
Original post by 22KT22
Same and he's here early on Friday :woo: Uber excited!


Same here! his flight is due at 5.30 friday, I can't wait!! :banana:
A little help.

She's extremely in a bad state at the moment. Nothing to do with the relationship as far as I can tell. Just worried about the usual stuff in life. I don't know what kind of thing would be appropriate: I don't want to try and solve all her problems because that would just be superficial and she needs to deal with it herself. I don't know if I should keep bringing it up or ask her how she is because that will just remind her that she feels bad.

Currently I'm just making sure I'm there for her to talk to me if she wants somebody. Should I be doing something more than that, or would that make her resent me?
My four-week wait to see him didn't last :') he hasn't settled in well as uni, to the point where he was virtually hospitalised as the stress made his health problems so bad....I decided he needed a little bit of harsh love so had to travel four hours each way to tell him to man up (and comfort him too!).

He was in a right state, sobbing and shaking...though he does now realise that he'll be fine. He's 'rejected' a lot of friendships with girls since he'd been there cos he was worried about me being upset, so I've told him not to be silly, especially as one of them was lovely, and clearly besotted with her man.

Was horrible leaving him, he was properly crying and I'm so worried about him - although less than I was as he is a lot happier now!

Anything I can do to help him? Pretty sure he's got to do the rest on his own now, but I couldn't just abandon him for another two weeks knowing how upset he was.
God I hate distance :sad: it's just so frustrating how earlier today I was completely happy (still at his house :tongue:) and now I'm back at mine all sad and fed up. Bleghhhhhh.
(edited 11 years ago)
Next year I hopefully won't be in an LDR because my other half is hoping to start at the same uni as me next year! We'll hopefully be getting a flat together and because I'm hoping to do a masters here afterwards, we'll be here for the same amount of time (or I might be there one year longer than he will).

I'm so happy :h: can't wait to see him Friday evening, we're spending the weekend together and he's cooking me cottage pie :love:
Spoke to a friend on facebook who was crying her eyes out because her boyfriend told her bluntly he couldn't be arsed with the long distance relationship no more and that he was shagging someone else, suppose he was honest but that poor girl.
Original post by madders94
Next year I hopefully won't be in an LDR because my other half is hoping to start at the same uni as me next year! We'll hopefully be getting a flat together and because I'm hoping to do a masters here afterwards, we'll be here for the same amount of time (or I might be there one year longer than he will).

I'm so happy :h: can't wait to see him Friday evening, we're spending the weekend together and he's cooking me cottage pie :love:


Awesome!

Haha, I'm going home on Friday for the first time and I've requested shepherds pie to eat Friday night :love: BF is making me mine too!
Feeling so upset right now. Feels like my relationship is going to pieces :frown:

I have been with my bf for 1 year 8 months. I spent 10 months abroad, and we stayed together the whole time, even though it was difficult and we had our problems. Our goal has always been for me to move in with him after I finish this year of university. We are currently about 2 hours apart.

I got back from abroad 2 months ago, and around when I got back he told me that he'd been having doubts. He says that he's not sure if we want the same things, and is uncertain whether I will really be able to come and live with him and find a job in his area.

He also says that I don't fit into his interests or hobbies, and that he hates always having to choose between something he wants to do and me. As though it's some kind of chore to spend time with me, even though we always have a really nice time. :frown:

So yesterday we rowed because he'd promised to spend next weekend with me, but something had come up on both Sat and Sun that he really wanted to go to. So I said fine, another weekend then - but it turned out that the next weekend he has free is in 5 weeks time. So I was obviously not happy. Eventually he agreed to see me that weekend, but it just made me feel horrible for making him give up his time again.

The other thing that has recently thrown us off, is that he met this girl who he was chatting to a lot, and invited her on a date. I found out from someone else, and he admitted that he did like this girl but that they were no longer speaking because he had chosen me.

I'm feeling so upset about all this, because I feel like I'm losing him. :frown: For a year, he promised me that I was worth it and would do anything for me, and as soon as I'm home it's like I don't fit into his life anymore.

What do I do? We've tried talking about it, but we both get so upset, and he always says he doesn't want to talk about it. I feel like it's impossible to work through this when he won't talk to me. I have really been enjoying our time together, but I can't take anymore of this.

Any advice please? Desperate.
Love is very fickle in my experiences, I'm a thoughtful and caring person yet it seems lady luck (or bad luck in this case) is always ready to strike at a moments notice.

About a month ago, a close friend from Spain came over to the Uk to continue in her study of english and meet new people. One of these sort of exchange student schemes if you will. She told me she was coming and that we just had to meet up. After all, in the past we were great friends and shared some wonderful moments together before I moved country. This is the girl I've always liked, the girl who I share so many things in common with, the girl that always had a boyfriend impeding me from making my move. Silently and patiently waiting the chance never came..

I'm sure you can depict how I was feeling when she told me I was going to see her. I was all over the place with excitement and fear and scared I was going to see her and not be able to let go. I find it very odd, being a male and always being so emotional with these things, taking everything at heart.

I saw her for 2 straight weekends. Showing her all the wonders of London and what it has to offer. The zoo, museums, parks, landmarks, concerts and lets not forget the london underground!(Picture of a can of sardines? Use your imagination)(Just joking). I admit it, it got to me. Feelings that were put to rest re-awoken once again and knowning it would be something impossible since we lived so far apart. As for how she felt, I do not know since women's minds are a complete enigma!. If I had to guess she somewhat felt something as opposed to nothing. We were close in our time together sharing all the things that have happened to us since we last saw each other.

And so before we said our goodbyes at the train station, I started reading to her one of her favourite books in english. I think she likes the english accent a lot. The departure of the train was getting closer and closer, every moment ticking away so fast. My hand suddenly met hers and did not let go, as she was about to leave my emotions took hold of me and so I pulled her towards me and kissed her....She was shocked and completly unexpected it and so did not return the kiss but a hasty goodbye. Terrified with what I did I messaged her saying sorry to which she replied 'Do not worry about me'. ??? Well what in seven hells does that mean!?

The only reason I stayed sane for the next week is because I already had a flight booked to spain and was going over there for the holidays. A chance to clear all of this up. Shortly upon my arrival I discovered she already had a boyfriend or a very close friend for that matter so I had to go and ask her what was all this about. Our talk was not very clear, always evading direct questions and giving shaky answers. So wether she actually felt something for this other guy I do not know.

We kept on meeting up to go to places, our relationship escalating even more and more until one day suddenly it was as if someone pressed the 'off' button. I was completly confused. Is she protecting herself because Im going to be leaving in a couple of days? Is it because I'm just another fling for her?. Our final dinner together was in good spirit yet distanced compared to how passionately I was kissing her a few days before. The goodbye was short, looking into her eyes knowing I wouldn't see her in a very long time yet I would be willing to wait for her all that was neccesary, the question being, would she?

All these thoughts overcrowding in my mind, I could not say all of these things...I was afraid. I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let go but...we just parted ways, turning my head a couple of steps to see her one last time.

Now, I truly miss her. Not a day goes by with all those sweet memories flooding back in. Wishing I could relive those moments again and again. Wanting to move on a find someone else is an impossibility for me at the moment. And while we are in occasional contact through skype and facebook (always me saying hi and starting a conversation), I see no remains of our time together.

It saddens me how attached I have grown and feeling so helpless about the situation, never forgetting anything, missing those moments when we were hand-in-hand walking across the beach and into the sunset and that whole night we spent walking around aimlessly just because I thought every moment with you was worth more than anything.

What am I to do?
I feel so upset. LDRs are so ****ing hard :frown:
I'm studying abroad in north america for the year while the bf is in the uk. I've been here for 4 weeks and man, I did not expect it to be this difficult. :eek:
We talk everyday though, for hours, which makes it better. Although we seem to argue more over tiny little things. It's strange cause we hardly ever argue in person... :s-smilie: I can't sleep but the thought of coming home over Christmas to see him and my family keeps me going. :smile:
Really missing my OH today. He was telling me about how loads of people in his halls have broken up with their other halves, and it's left me feeling really down. :frown:


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Reply 8798
Avatar for 22KT22
22KT22
15
Original post by Anonymous
Feeling so upset right now. Feels like my relationship is going to pieces :frown:

I have been with my bf for 1 year 8 months. I spent 10 months abroad, and we stayed together the whole time, even though it was difficult and we had our problems. Our goal has always been for me to move in with him after I finish this year of university. We are currently about 2 hours apart.

I got back from abroad 2 months ago, and around when I got back he told me that he'd been having doubts. He says that he's not sure if we want the same things, and is uncertain whether I will really be able to come and live with him and find a job in his area.

He also says that I don't fit into his interests or hobbies, and that he hates always having to choose between something he wants to do and me. As though it's some kind of chore to spend time with me, even though we always have a really nice time. :frown:

So yesterday we rowed because he'd promised to spend next weekend with me, but something had come up on both Sat and Sun that he really wanted to go to. So I said fine, another weekend then - but it turned out that the next weekend he has free is in 5 weeks time. So I was obviously not happy. Eventually he agreed to see me that weekend, but it just made me feel horrible for making him give up his time again.

The other thing that has recently thrown us off, is that he met this girl who he was chatting to a lot, and invited her on a date. I found out from someone else, and he admitted that he did like this girl but that they were no longer speaking because he had chosen me.

I'm feeling so upset about all this, because I feel like I'm losing him. :frown: For a year, he promised me that I was worth it and would do anything for me, and as soon as I'm home it's like I don't fit into his life anymore.

What do I do? We've tried talking about it, but we both get so upset, and he always says he doesn't want to talk about it. I feel like it's impossible to work through this when he won't talk to me. I have really been enjoying our time together, but I can't take anymore of this.

Any advice please? Desperate.


You need to sit him down the next time you see him and talk about everything, whether he wants to or not you need to have this conversation as otherwise like you said you wont be able to work through the issues you're having. Are there no interests or hobbies you share at all or that you'd be willing to try? Maybe this would help to build brigdes as such and he wont feel like he has to choose? Either way you need to both talk about it and preferably in person else i would reconsider the relationship because the fact he went on a date with another girl screams that he's searching.

Original post by Anonymous
I feel so upset. LDRs are so ****ing hard :frown:

:hugs::hugs: When you next seeing your OH? My top tip is to keep busy and make sure you have set times to communicate that way at least you can get into a routine, have more to talk about and although it wont make it easy, will definitely serve as a distraction.

Original post by Alter-ego
I'm studying abroad in north america for the year while the bf is in the uk. I've been here for 4 weeks and man, I did not expect it to be this difficult. :eek:
We talk everyday though, for hours, which makes it better. Although we seem to argue more over tiny little things. It's strange cause we hardly ever argue in person... :s-smilie: I can't sleep but the thought of coming home over Christmas to see him and my family keeps me going. :smile:


Least you're speaking to him lots :smile: remember to not miss out on your year abroad though! Throw yourself into societies and uni and meeting people else you'll only regret it if you done. :hugs:

Original post by HopelessWonder
Really missing my OH today. He was telling me about how loads of people in his halls have broken up with their other halves, and it's left me feeling really down. :frown:


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:hugs::hugs: He's probably told you as he's as scared as you are that you guys will be next, just reassure him. I know it can seem scary but often its not the distance that causes the relationships to break up in the first few weeks, could be people have changed, that they weren't happy in the relationship and can now 'escape', that they don't want to be tied down but all these things doesn't mean that it will happen to you. When you next seeing your OH? Focus on that :smile:
Original post by 22KT22


:hugs::hugs: When you next seeing your OH? My top tip is to keep busy and make sure you have set times to communicate that way at least you can get into a routine, have more to talk about and although it wont make it easy, will definitely serve as a distraction.


In 3 weeks time, which makes it almost 6 weeks in between. It is so tough and find it hard to communicate when we're so busy but you're right, we do talk at the beginning of the day and see when we're both free though. Miss the intimacy so much, and hate how confusions and misunderstandings can spring up due to not knowing completely what the other is doing.

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