How to initiate

hi

I`m quite new to the whole dating thing, however, atm theres this guy who I always end up noticing, and we both look at each other for a while then kindof nervously look away!

I dont really know how to initiate anything, like should I just go upto him and ask him wheres he`s from etc? and how should I perhaps make it obvious I`m interested?

Gangnam Style.

Go up to him and say you think he is cute. Then watch as his brain turns to mush as he tries to work out what the hell that means.

Alternatively, go up to him and introduce yourself and ask questions relevant to the situation.

Reply 3

Damask-

16

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy...

Reply 4

NatalieLon1986

Original post by Damask-

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy...

That would be good, or 'Look, I just wanted to say Hi - I'm [your name]. Wondered if you were heading off anywhere, or wanted to have a coffee or something?' If he is heading off somewhere, then ask if he'd like to do so another time, suggest a date/time, otherwise offer your number or something - try and gauge if he seems enthusiastic or not. If he is staying, just do some small talk about what you both do, what you've been up to, anything like that, and see how it goes.

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Do it do it do it! I'm in this position as the lad, and i just cannot do it. It's too hard. I'd love the girl to come to me. Please just go for it!

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by NatalieLon1986

That would be good, or 'Look, I just wanted to say Hi - I'm [your name]. Wondered if you were heading off anywhere, or wanted to have a coffee or something?' If he is heading off somewhere, then ask if he'd like to do so another time, suggest a date/time, otherwise offer your number or something - try and gauge if he seems enthusiastic or not. If he is staying, just do some small talk about what you both do, what you've been up to, anything like that, and see how it goes.

oh cool, I`m going to try in the next few days, its a bit hard because although we are in the same lectures most of the time, i have a group of friends whilst he`s just with one guy, and I`m a bit shy! first crush lol

so if I see him on the way out, should I just introduce myself/more about the course, then maybe like we should meet up some time/go for lunch? maybe ask for his fb? I think I should make it obv. type that I`m interested but he seems the shy type too so maybe talk alot more first i think?

Original post by Anonymous

Do it do it do it! I'm in this position as the lad, and i just cannot do it. It's too hard. I'd love the girl to come to me. Please just go for it!

really, lol i feel the same, I`m quite a shy girl and I dont want to come across as too desperate, if you get what I mean. so as a guy, you`d actually be ok with the girl comming over and you know talking? does that show she`s interested?

Reply 7

Lord of the Flies

19

Original post by InnerTemple

Go up to him and say you think he is cute. Then watch as his brain turns to mush as he tries to work out what the hell that means.

This.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

As a guy who is incredibly shy, I wouldn't feel honored if the girl came over and spoke to me, I would feel so relieved. There is this girl, who I just can't get out of my head. I wish she'd come over and talk to me, I daren't say anything myself. Please, for everyone's sake do it! :smile:

Be a brave girl. (I say this but I should stop pussyfooting around and sort myself out with this girl) but anyway, do the thing I am unable to. I think it's lovely when a girl comes over and talks to me! Well cute :P good luck!!!!

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Lord of the Flies

This.

and I`ll just be stood there, whilst he stares into space... :eek:

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Just do it! He will be so amazed and blush at the whole situation. :smile:

I like a girl who is confident enough to come and talk to me!

Reply 11

Lord of the Flies

19

Original post by Anonymous

and I`ll just be stood there, whilst he stares into space... :eek:

Doesn't matter - he won't even notice, he'll be far too preoccupied trying to find a decent reply. You'll have him at your feet for the first minute or so (unless he's some super-confident dude, but I doubt it). Then, depending on how outgoing he is, the conversation will flow more or less easily. I would be extremely flattered if a girl came up to me with a compliment like that.

Reply 12

firebolt

12

Just mention something to do with your lecture to get the ball rolling and eventually talk more to him

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

lol I dont have the guts to go upto him and say "hey you`re well fit," I think I should become friends with him first, and then start spending alot more time with him? and obv. then mention "you`re pretty hot," gotta avoid the whole friendzone stuff too!

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

BOOOO :P you need to do it! You can be friends, just get the ball rolling. Just give him a smile. Try to look sad, maybe he'll come over to you. I think your shyness if cute. I'm sure he will too. GET HIM ASAP.

Reply 15

closey95

11

Lol, if someone came up to me and said "hey you're well fit" I'd have to resist the urge to shag them on the spot.

Reply 16

NatalieLon1986

Original post by Anonymous

lol I dont have the guts to go upto him and say "hey you`re well fit," I think I should become friends with him first, and then start spending alot more time with him? and obv. then mention "you`re pretty hot," gotta avoid the whole friendzone stuff too!

I think a lot of the fears about 'friendzoning' are very much overstated. Just get chatting as friends, and be a bit flirtatious (say a few things which are a little risqué, or something like that - also make plenty of eye contact) and it should flow reasonably naturally. Hopefully you can say something which makes your intent explicit at some point (though I'm sure he will know this from the outset).

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks for your help guys! :smile:

much appreciated

lmao I dont want to shag him, well not yet anyways so I wont call him fit yet!

I`ll probably post on here, when I get the ball rolling :smile:

thanks again !

Reply 18

concubine

17

Go up to her, pick her up, carry her away.

You're now a guy. Or a dyke.

Reply 19

Anonymous #1

OP

lol I`m a big wimp, esp. when it comes to guys

HOWEVER, if you think you like someone, then the only way of knowing is to start talking/initiating and seeing how it goes!

I`d absolutely hate to spend the full year staring at him, and thinking all the time- we should soo talk!

I mean I`ve been doing alot of eye contact over the last few days, and even the other day he normally sits in the bak, and he went out the lecture room and I think we just stared at each other. I hope its because he likes me, not because of the way I dress! lol

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