The Long Distance Relationship Society Advice Centre

Eek, three sleeps! He's been away for a little over a month now and I've been lucky enough to see him twice already! I have to admit, I am very bad with the whole "living in the future thing"- I actually have a count down in my diary until I see him next (very sad, very teenage girl, but also VERY reassuring!) But at the same time, I've thrown myself into so many extra-curricular activities this academic year, I've been working hard because a) I have more time to do 'me' things, such as going out with my girlfriends without him allowed and b) I need to take my mind off him. I feel like we can make it through, I'm just worrying already about how it'll be when I start university next September/October. I've applied to uni already and I've done a good job at not letting his location sway my choices. I'm just wondering if anyone has any words of advice to offer with regards to starting university a year after your partner? How was it?

facebook chat and skype are all very good but nothing beats a handwritten letter. Spent the day with a big smile on my face.

facebook chat and skype are all very good but nothing beats a handwritten letter. Spent the day with a big smile on my face.

Supposed to go see him this weekend, booked my train tickets on monday. Work have now given me four days notice of a meeting I apparently HAVE to go to and I have no idea if they're going to let me off.

Going to have to give up my job to see him but without my job I can't afford train fare.
No idea what to do.

I think what's apparent in my relationship is that we're best friends, not just boyfriend and girlfriend. Because there's no consistent seeing each other or having sex regularly or even cuddling all the time, we've had to understand each other and what we really are like and learn to love that rather than someone who's there just for sex QUOTE]

So true!

does anyone have experience of a LDR with a really clingy BF/GF? My long term boyfriend cannot accept that I am going to uni next year. He is used to seeing me almost every day and we even work together. He got upset when I went to Reading festival and that was only a few days. I've tried reassuring him he can visit me and me visit home, I'm only and hour and a half's drive away, so a train is even quicker. I've seen relationships last with my friends from here in suffolk and york, which is a lot further away than UEA.

I understand it will be hard for him to go from seeing me whenever he wants to only once a week. He says if I go there is nothing left back home for him. Although he has a job he enjoys and a few close friends. Maybe he should take up a college course or something? Thing is he is a little older than me and he has done the uni thing already, and doesn't rate it. That said I think, and so does he, that he took the wrng course. he's never be able to afford the fee's to go again though. He doesn't see the long term benefits of having gone to uni for him. But me I have wanted it for so long, and it's not something I am going to give up. I even took a gap year so we had a good year together before I go, and I'm also working and saving money so that I am in a comfortable financial position when I do go.

think the distance is starting to get to me...starting to see all the bad things about him,
everytime he calls me he whines for hours about work, he has this constant high and mighty "they cant do this to me its not fair" attitude when actually people are just doing what has to be done, he's blown his £3000 isa account on crap in the last 6 months, how can he talk about marriage and kids but not have a single plan for the future, no savings account left or anything, he was meant to be moving into a flat with his mate but his loan was rejected cause of a £15 debt on an old card, i dont mind that but 5 months later he still hasnt paid it off because " he cant afford £15" - he can afford a maccies nearly everyday, he can drive to work every night rather than walking for 30 minutes, i've saved £950 this year and he cant spare £15 in 5 months?!?!

i cant see a future with someone like this!

im struggling most because i cant find anything i love about him but really i know i've never been able to, i've just always loved him "just because" and thats fine but at times like this i start to need reasons.... =/ not having a good timeee!