A Basic Men's Guide to Success with Women

Liking metal is an "extreme" subculture?

I don't think it's so much about confidence, as in cockiness confidence. I get the impression it's more to do with having some self-assurance. Enough confidence to allow you to make decent conversation and develop some sort of relationship without it feeling awkward all the time. It can be very awkward when you talk to somebody who has no confidence, and it can actually be very hard work too.

I don't understand why you keep stressing the same point. Clearly this is addressing the average person. Obviously this won't really apply to a person who's into the metal sub-culture, they'll probably end up attracting like-minded people.

What's the problem?

"Liking metal" =/= identifying with the metal subculture.

Any subculture to which substantially all adherents are immediately visually identifiable is "extreme" in the context I stated, yes.

"cockiness confidence" is just self-assurance in people you don't like (or in the alternative, "more self-assurance than you yourself have").

My point is simply that men who identify with the metal subculture are likely to wish to date women who identify with the metal subculture, and vice versa, and the best way to do that is to dress in a manner that identifies them as such.

In fact OP is completely missing the big picture: it is not a matter of dressing in some preseribed manner of his suggestion, its a matter of dressing in a way that represents who you are. There is no incorrect way to dress - other than to dress in a way that misrepresents yourself.

OP directly addresses metal fans with long hair - so its no good saying this advice isn't "for them". Hes talking directly to them.

My guide is useless for blind white-supremacists with a foot fetish who seek similar too.

I meant arrogance. That's attractive to only some people. Most people are attracted to a degree of confidence though.

Try to follow it yourself did ya?

The most common dating advice is without doubt "be yourself".

My point is simply that men who identify with the metal subculture are likely to wish to date women who identify with the metal subculture, and vice versa, and the best way to do that is to dress in a manner that identifies them as such.

In fact OP is completely missing the big picture: it is not a matter of dressing in some preseribed manner of his suggestion, its a matter of dressing in a way that represents who you are. There is no incorrect way to dress - other than to dress in a way that misrepresents yourself.

OP directly addresses metal fans with long hair - so its no good saying this advice isn't "for them". Hes talking directly to them.

Arrogance is assuming you are better than others. You can be incredibly, over-the top confidant without being arrogant.

So if I go to the pub in my deftones t-shirt, I'm immediately identifiable as belonging to an extremist subculture and thus unable to attract "normal" women?

well no

I'm very "nerdy" or "weird" and sarcastic... what if I'm too weird??
Apart from that, some nice tips, I will be using these for sure!

1) do you like these things about yourself?
2) do you want to be with a woman who is "nerdy" "weird" and "sarcastic"? Is it important to you?

If the answer to one and two is yes, then just keep looking until you find someone who likes that about you!

If the answer to one and two is no, then consider working to make yourself "less" so.

But any subculture to which all adherents are immediately visually identifiable is "extreme", no?

Wearing a deftones t-shirt alone doesn't single you out as part of a subculture, no.

You are being facetious. You understand the point.

A sub-culture is "exteme" in the way I used it before if membership of that subculture -requires- visual self-identification. In other words, if there is a "uniform".

You can usually tell if someone is a punk, a goth, a metalhead. They dress, act and style themselves in a way that proclaims that fact. This isn't a cricitism its truth!

Can you, on the other hand, differentiate visually between someone who loves clubbing and social drinking from someone who is abstinent and whose key hobby is playing the viola in an orchestra? No (flippant answers aside) - because neither of those subcultures involve a specific appearance or style of dress.

Yes, I love being weird and nerdy! Much better than being bored. I want a girl who will be weird with me, I guess. But there's this girl now, who I've never spoken to but feel a very strong attraction for, and I'm worried I'll be a bit too weird for her :/ Only one way to find out...
I hope it works out, I've never felt this way about a girl before.

Feel free to say: http://www.instantsfun.es/gaaaay