I just wanted to make a post regarding weight redistribution.
I know I go on about this frequently but the truth is, it's ALWAYS on my mind these days. The fact is, I APPEAR heavier than I am due to the fat gain and refusal to redistribute properly (though it HAS moved, it's very stubbornly been very fond of my stomach, love handlage and face).
However, when I compare four different pictures, a few other things become apparent. I was never looking at the big deal, the whole picture. I'm finally getting compliments again. Sure, your FAMILY can say nice things about you, but recently, I was getting complimented on how I looked by female friends-of-friends, and it really made me sit up and think, "are people saying these nice things in a pseudo-patronising way, because they want to reassure me regardless of how I ACTUALLY look, or are they complimenting me for real?!" - it wasn't until I analysed it and ASKED that I got the response, "It's like you've transformed, because the way you were a year ago, I wouldn't have looked twice - now you're a different guy, totally!"
Comparing me this time last year, at my low-low point, where I had just started recovery after my minor heart scare and organ failure...
Picture here: https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/322639_10151122065905570_2021671464_o.jpgto then gaining a whole bunch of weight (a stone and a half, up to a good eight stones, as I currently deviate from 8st to 8st 4 back and forth):
Picture here: http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/temporary-2080.jpgThen to the point where the weight STARTED redistributing, and my hair finally started growing back:
Picture here: http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/temporary-995.jpgand finally, the picture I took of me being all smug - like - ten seconds ago (same weight as previous picture):
Picture here: http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/l583/totomimotommy/temporary-755.jpgThe differences are both major and minor, physical and emotional. The reason I'm doing "smug face" is because my hair is growing back. I'm inexplicably changing my age (I'm 28, but I appear to have, at points, looked 21 and 40, just due to the crazy effect of the ED). And of course, getting nice comments doesn't hurt.
If you consider that I haven't changed how much I weigh in the final three pictures, AT ALL (and I mean, not a pound between the final three), you can see how your body tries to change back after an ED kills it. In the space of a few months the changes are all over the shop.
I might have my hangups, and I might be still struggling (and trust me, it only gets harder when you "look" normal but you don't "think" normal, because you don't have that crutch to fall back on), but knowing I am constantly working to HEAL myself, and get better, and beat the ED - and not appease it - THAT means more to me than any flabby belly or chubbedy-bubbedy cheeks!