How to tell flatmate we don't want to live with them next year?

So basically, in my uni accommodation, there are 11 of us living together. As a large group, apart from 2 people, we're all getting on well :smile:

But it's come to the point where we need to talk about housing for next year and 5 of the 6 girls in my house get on so well - we're completely up for living together again next year - but the other girl is not fitting in with us at all. There are so many little things she has done (I won't go into the details) which have been so irritating that they've been gradually building up and building up to the point that as soon as she walks into the room the mood changes because she's there. It's terrible really but we always need to vent about the things she's done that have annoyed us and we literally spend ages talking about her when she's not around (which is quite often - she spends a lot of time in her room). And as harsh as it may sound there is just no way we would want or would be able to live with her next year.
So, we have to tell her that sooner or later and even though we REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to we all feel as though we need to broach the subject pretty soon in case she assumes she can live with us again.

What I'm asking here is has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you tell someone that you don't like them enough to live with them? The problem is that as far as we're aware she hasn't got any other friends she could potentially share a house with next year and to make matters worse, she's REALLY sensitive and craves attention and we feel like she could do something so serious to get attention to make us feel guilty about not wanting to live with her.....I'm talking she will potentially drop out of uni or do something even worse...
Also, we have to bear in mind how tense it will be in our halls after telling her and we don't finish uni until June!!

Thanks for your help :smile:

Reply 1

rizzl8

15

Original post by flutegirl

So basically, in my uni accommodation, there are 11 of us living together. As a large group, apart from 2 people, we're all getting on well :smile:

But it's come to the point where we need to talk about housing for next year and 5 of the 6 girls in my house get on so well - we're completely up for living together again next year - but the other girl is not fitting in with us at all. There are so many little things she has done (I won't go into the details) which have been so irritating that they've been gradually building up and building up to the point that as soon as she walks into the room the mood changes because she's there. It's terrible really but we always need to vent about the things she's done that have annoyed us and we literally spend ages talking about her when she's not around (which is quite often - she spends a lot of time in her room). And as harsh as it may sound there is just no way we would want or would be able to live with her next year.
So, we have to tell her that sooner or later and even though we REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to we all feel as though we need to broach the subject pretty soon in case she assumes she can live with us again.

What I'm asking here is has anyone been in a similar situation? How do you tell someone that you don't like them enough to live with them? The problem is that as far as we're aware she hasn't got any other friends she could potentially share a house with next year and to make matters worse, she's REALLY sensitive and craves attention and we feel like she could do something so serious to get attention to make us feel guilty about not wanting to live with her.....I'm talking she will potentially drop out of uni or do something even worse...
Also, we have to bear in mind how tense it will be in our halls after telling her and we don't finish uni until June!!

Thanks for your help :smile:

firstly stop backbiting behind her back,its wrong !you wouldn't like it if someone did it to you!

i think you should ask her what her plans her with living arrangements for next year are, slightly touch on the fact that you and the others are living together and already have arranged it and say 'if u feel u get on with us you can join us'...if shes bright she will get the hint!

or you could just lie and say its really expensive

better than her dropping out/or killing herslelf

Reply 2

Ham22

15

Stop spending so much time sitting around bitching about her ffs. She can probably hear you. The amount of threads we've seen from the other side from the secluded housemate having to deal with a bunch of bitches...

Just arrange your house yourself and if she brings it up just say that the 5 of you have signed for a house. Done.

Reply 3

scotttb

15

Original post by Ham22

Stop spending so much time sitting around bitching about her ffs. She can probably hear you. The amount of threads we've seen from the other side from the secluded housemate having to deal with a bunch of bitches...

Just arrange your house yourself and if she brings it up just say that the 5 of you have signed for a house. Done.

WTF this is even worse. Atleast she plans to act like an adult and let her know that they don't want to live with her, so she can actually find somewhere to live rather than just hoping she doesn't bring it up.

Reply 4

IlexBlue

2

Telling us what she's done to piss you off might put you in a slightly better light or at least help us understand better. At the moment you're just sounding kind of bitchy.

Reply 5

Palatial Veranda

12

Write her one of those cards.

Front Cover: With our deepest sympathies (picture of sad teddy bear)

Opens Card: 'We really, really don't want to live with you next year'

Reply 6

Palatial Veranda

12

Don't actually do that ^. I'm concerned that you might.

Reply 7

Really_now

14

It's so weird...a few days ago there was a thread about a girl who wasn't getting on with her flatmates who ignored her trying to get to know them and initiate a conversation.They went all moody when she entered the room same as you're doing.

Maybe you should stop ganging up on her and chatting behind her back like ten year old kids and try and sort out your problems. Ask her what her plans for next year are if you want to do it subtly. And how arrogant that you believe that she wants to live with you and your gang of gossipers anyway!

Reply 8

Maxisussex

8

You sound like a nasty piece of work,along with your friends. If I was the other girl,I sure as hell wouldn't want to live with people like you. You made no mention of any of you bringing these "problems" up when they occured,perhaps if you had they wouldn't "gradually build up" Instead you did what typical women do at least the ****** and gossip about her behind her back. So my advice would be,tell her what spiteful,nasty people you are and that she hasn't done anything to deserve living with people like you.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 9

Ham22

15

Original post by Really_now

It's so weird...a few days ago there was a thread about a girl who wasn't getting on with her flatmates who ignored her trying to get to know them and initiate a conversation.They went all moody when she entered the room same as you're doing.

Maybe you should stop ganging up on her and chatting behind her back like ten year old kids and try and sort out your problems. Ask her what her plans for next year are if you want to do it subtly. And how arrogant that you believe that she wants to live with you and your gang of gossipers anyway!

This is what im saying. Unless shes a complete idiot, she will know they dont like her. I cant see how she wud want to live with them again.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 10

Tish

13

Lol this thread completely backfired towards the original postee. Everyone backstabs people whether it hasn't been 5 years since you all done it.

However i agree she sounds like a bitch if i experience this next year id feel utterly completely sad. I feel sorry for the girl you and your friends are bullying.

Oh well I'm off to sleep.

This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App

She may have already made plans. If you haven't discussed it with her, why do you assume she thinks she will be living with you?
When I was in halls the other three girls in my flat arranged to live together the next year, I arranged to live with my friends. We didn't spend much time together at all, so I never thought for a second that there was any chance of sharing a house with them, why would I have? :dontknow:

(edited 11 years ago)

Speak to her soon.

I know you say this girl has annoyed you and your little friends but you dont sound that much better... so I have to ask the question : what are the benefits of living with you?

Reply 14

The Wild Youth

13

Just ask her what her plans are, its not hard

Think how she feels, having to spends the whole rest of the year in a house where she's not welcome! Would it be so hard to try and work these issues out with her rather than bitching behind her back?!

Reply 15

-SJ-

Stop talking about her behind her back, thats a start. You wouldnt like it if it was done to you. Also have you even tried to get on with her away from your little group? or have you automatically gone with the consensus of everyone else and decided you don't like her?

Number 2, stop acting like your in a playground, your in uni, grow up.

Number 3, I don't think she actually would be considering moving in with you, considering the fact she can probally hear you lot talking about her.

Finally just, mention subtly that you and the others are moving in together next year, and what type of place is she looking at. Simple.

Reply 16

CanaryWolf

2

We got stuck with a boy which we all rather wish we shouldn't of let live with us.
All he does is play xbox all day, leaves the house like a s++t hole and doesn't socialise and when he does he just infuriates us.
Tell them straight, it'll be a bit awkward but imagine another year of being with them/her. Easier to just do it as a group and tell them what you think as opposed to being really shifty about it. Also get together and discuss if everyone is thinking the same feelings as you.

Reply 17

lizzieviolin123

Of course she isn't being bitchy, I have a similar problem, sometimes people just don't gel well together when living under the same roof but are super sensitive about it. flute girl, I know exactly what you are going through hun.

Reply 18

jelly1000

21

Original post by lizzieviolin123

Of course she isn't being bitchy, I have a similar problem, sometimes people just don't gel well together when living under the same roof but are super sensitive about it. flute girl, I know exactly what you are going through hun.