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Eating Disorders and life with one - Discussions, Opinions, Advice.

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Hi everyone. I hope its alright to put this here, basically looking for a bit of advice.

My brother has bulimia, recently diagnosed but been going on a while. He's a couple years younger than me and we don't have a great relationship, nothing bad just we're two very different people; we aren't very chatty/open with each other. I know there's nothing major I can do, but are there any little things that you think may help? I desperately want him to be ok. His whole life is pretty messed up by it now, and although he was offered appointments at camhs he's not been able to use them and walked out of his last meeting. Parents are trying to be supportive/patient, think they're coming across a bit suffocating though and im not sure they quite understand - but then does anyone truly understand unless you suffer yourself.

Obviously I cant do the recovery for him, but if there's any little things you think I could do, or indeed stuff I shouldn't do I'd love to hear any thoughts. Just want my little brother to be free of this nasty illness and back to his happy self.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone. I hope its alright to put this here, basically looking for a bit of advice.

My brother has bulimia, recently diagnosed but been going on a while. He's a couple years younger than me and we don't have a great relationship, nothing bad just we're two very different people; we aren't very chatty/open with each other. I know there's nothing major I can do, but are there any little things that you think may help? I desperately want him to be ok. His whole life is pretty messed up by it now, and although he was offered appointments at camhs he's not been able to use them and walked out of his last meeting. Parents are trying to be supportive/patient, think they're coming across a bit suffocating though and im not sure they quite understand - but then does anyone truly understand unless you suffer yourself.

Obviously I cant do the recovery for him, but if there's any little things you think I could do, or indeed stuff I shouldn't do I'd love to hear any thoughts. Just want my little brother to be free of this nasty illness and back to his happy self.


Spoiler because it's so long haha

Spoiler

Original post by Moonburp
It really isn't easy being a guy and having anorexia, I've been fighting it for about a year and about 8 weeks into recovery. If you need any support, drop us a PM, you don't have to do it alone.


Thanks :smile: It really is difficult being a male with an eating disorder, as I'm sure Toto and other males on here will testify, as people just don't expect it. I suppose I've got nothing to lose by not posting anonymously here. I Thought I'd finally post on here as yesterday I was having a really bad day. I felt really down, I felt tired, sick, bloated and anxious for my blood test results from last week, which didn't come back until this morning as I found out at mid-day today. My CAMHS doctor rang up my father in work saying I needed an urgent physical test at the Gwent Hospital due to concerns over my white blood cell count, ECG, blood glucose (which was down to 2.3 at time of measurement last week), and pulse; and that I should 'be prepared to stay for a night or two' :frown:.

After a lot of faffing around in the hospital waiting to appear on the system I finally got seen to at around 5.30 this evening, when after difficulty taking more bloods they brought another doctor in. It turns out I have improved to levels that are just above the levels required for hospitalisation, and they didn't keep me in (and the fact that the old woman next to me was told she was to have a 16 hour wait for a bed probably kept me out) :smile:.

Spoiler

Hi, just looking for some advice really. Please keep anon (I know too many folk on here :ninja:).

Also going to spoiler this since it's probably triggering for some.

Spoiler

Reply 5024
Latest anon 154; your post was so troubling. I want you to think hard about what you just said.

You're desperate to be unwell. Emaciated. Ill. do you look at a victim of cancer and want the same?

Don't look at the form. See the pain, the illness. Then ask if you truly want it. X
Reply 5025
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, just looking for some advice really. Please keep anon (I know too many folk on here :ninja:).

Also going to spoiler this since it's probably triggering for some.

Spoiler



This honestly makes me so sad ... How can you want this ?? It has ruined my life, i am losing my family, my friends, my hair , my teeth , my sleep, my grades :frown: I have never felt so unhappy and now I feel stuck and trapped. Please dont do this to yourself !!


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, just looking for some advice really. Please keep anon (I know too many folk on here :ninja:).

Also going to spoiler this since it's probably triggering for some.

Spoiler



Spoiler

Original post by .snowflake.
:/ that anon was me. Drink more water, wear the bare minimum in labs and have a bag of jelly babies in my locker.


Oh God. Jelly babies is the thing (along with nutella) that makes me wish I wasn't a vegetarian.
Original post by Anonymous
Hello everyone, I've been lurking around here for quite a while now and I thought that I may as well post as I'm finding it a massive struggle in beating Anorexia Nervosa. I hope you don't mind a bit of a life story (spoilered due to risk of triggering), but I feel like I just want to say it out loud.



Spoiler




I feel like I could have written this.
Its unbelievable how similar my story is to yours. Reading about your experiences has made me realise how I'm not the only one having to battle with this horrid condition day in day out, so I do feel slightly reassured. Thank you for being so brave. :smile:


I've been kidding myself all this time - telling myself I don't have an ED. Telling myself that living off vegetables and Weetabix is completely normal. I'm sick of feeling guilty about what I put into my body. What's worse is I know what I'm doing is wrong, and how my body doesn't deserve to be treated this way... But I just can't stop.
Food consumes my every thought. If I'm not worrying about my calories, I'm worrying about what I'm going to eat for lunch, or dinner, or how I can keep my caloric intake to a minimum.
I'm terrified of going back to the way I was, terrified of gaining weight. Part of beating this ED will involve gaining weight, and I don't know if I'm strong enough for that yet.

I'm just sick to the core of it.
Reply 5029
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks :smile: It really is difficult being a male with an eating disorder, as I'm sure Toto and other males on here will testify, as people just don't expect it. I suppose I've got nothing to lose by not posting anonymously here. I Thought I'd finally post on here as yesterday I was having a really bad day. I felt really down, I felt tired, sick, bloated and anxious for my blood test results from last week, which didn't come back until this morning as I found out at mid-day today. My CAMHS doctor rang up my father in work saying I needed an urgent physical test at the Gwent Hospital due to concerns over my white blood cell count, ECG, blood glucose (which was down to 2.3 at time of measurement last week), and pulse; and that I should 'be prepared to stay for a night or two' :frown:.

After a lot of faffing around in the hospital waiting to appear on the system I finally got seen to at around 5.30 this evening, when after difficulty taking more bloods they brought another doctor in. It turns out I have improved to levels that are just above the levels required for hospitalisation, and they didn't keep me in (and the fact that the old woman next to me was told she was to have a 16 hour wait for a bed probably kept me out) :smile:.

Spoiler



I've always found weigh-ins and blood tests at hospitals incredibly stressful, so well done for going and it sounds good that they've improved. I've been there and I know exactly how hard it can be and how exhausting battling it is! I still have my down days, but have to take every positive that occurs as something to focus on and try and keep that above the negatives. This illness is more to do with the head than the body, I've found!

Spoiler

It makes me feel so sad to read some of these comments, I really do understand what it is like and I am glad that there is this forum where people are able to share and off load a bit. Help is very limited but I really do encourage you to seek it and to keep asking. Eating Disorders thrive on secrecy, shame and deceit, try and find a part of you that wants it all to stop, hold on to that part and seek help, it may be hard to find but there are groups out there. Funding is rubbish but a lot of groups are set up by people that have experienced eating disorders and are now in recovery or carers and are on a voluntary no charge basis. I invite you to give yourself a Christmas present of finding someone you can talk to about your relationship with food........although not easy it is possible to recover but you may need support from others. Remember your Eating Disorder loves the secrecy, fight back and share what you are going through.....take care
Reply 5031
Original post by Anonymous
Anonymous poster #152


I say I've got nothing to lose by not posting anonymously, then I forget to remove the anonymous function :rolleyes:

Anonymous 119

I don't feel brave for coming clean about my condition at all. I feel embarrassed that it took an extremely violent swing, two extremely concerned psychiatrists, severe isolation, forced withdrawal from school and a doctor who was pulled out of a meeting at short notice to see me telling me I was showing signs of severe starvation, that my BMI was only .3 over 17.5 and threatening to section me over Christmas to finally see something was seriously wrong :frown: If anything I feel ashamed.

I completely agree with you when you say that you don't realise you have a problem. I didn't realise that having despite eating three meals a day with no snacks that I was only consuming 90% of my low calories from vegetables such as cucumbers, tomatoes, lettuce, sprouts and onions, and limiting meat and protein sources to once a day to keep me full over night until the next morning; and why I 'lost control' when I finally gave into my hunger. I had planned what I was going to eat for breakfast (same thing everyday), lunch (same everyday), and dinner (alternating between a chicken breast and can of oily fish), and that I couldn't take any spontaneous decisions, with every meal choice out being thought through before I even got to the place :frown: I'm terrified of gaining weight, as I still can't get the image out of my mind that I'm 16 stone 5, despite the fact I'm now almost half that at just over 9 stone, and I feel that as soon as I go back to 'normal' I'll just balloon again :frown:

Spoiler



I've been trying to, although my fear of carbs is still something I need to work on. I think part of the reason I got upset at it was that I planned to have a dinner of 'safe foods' in the form of chicken and veg. I didn't expect at all being rushed down into the hospital on an emergency appointment, and didn't really have a large lunch. So after 8 hours of waiting for results and seeing if I was going to be kept in I just didn't care when I had the chance to eat (more of which above).
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by diamonddust
Oh God. Jelly babies is the thing (along with nutella) that makes me wish I wasn't a vegetarian.


-cuddles- We were told to keep something sugary i.e jelly babies, a choccie bar/ a banana in our locker, because its knackering to spend so long in labs, and so we don't pass out.
Just want to apologise for what I said last night, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone (I didn't mean to....)

Just forget what I said, and I'll just bugger off..

Sorry.
Snow, that sounds tough *cuddles back* I'm proud of you for dealing with uni stuff so well. I know it's not easy.

Original post by Anonymous
Just want to apologise for what I said last night, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone (I didn't mean to....)

Just forget what I said, and I'll just bugger off..

Sorry.

No, please don't apologise or leave! This thread is here if you need it. Just, like Toto said, think about what you're saying and where it's really coming from. Because this is honestly hell and I would give anything to not have this illness so seeing someone actually want it is a little heartbreaking. I know it comes from a place of pain though so don't apologise for what you said.
Arg, that was me!

And I really need to vent on here but I'll do it later.
Original post by Anonymous

No, please don't apologise or leave! This thread is here if you need it. Just, like Toto said, think about what you're saying and where it's really coming from. Because this is honestly hell and I would give anything to not have this illness so seeing someone actually want it is a little heartbreaking. I know it comes from a place of pain though so don't apologise for what you said.




I know, I know. *sigh* I know. I sound crazy don't I? I know the health problems associated with this and obviously I don't want that. But then this part of me, it's like it feeds upon the whole idea of being sick and want to be so damn skinny. And I know that sounds really wrong, but it's like that part is getting high from reading about it, and longing for it.

I don't know how to describe it. It's like I want it, but then I don't kinda thing. Even right now, I'm getting more drawn into this "wanting to be anorexic". It took me forever to stop a few years ago and just drag myself away from this, but lately it's like I'm falling back into this, and I know that I'll end up doing something about it. I've read stories on the net about people who are anorexic and (this is going to sound so wrong/bad) but I wish that was me. I have no idea what's wrong with me :frown:

I know I've not gained any weight for the past 2/3 years since the nurse I saw for my asthma said that I've been constant in my weight :tongue:.. which is good since I'm putting any on. But I would really like to lose it. I have tried diets/ doing it the healthy way but I just gave up.

I'm just going to end it here now, since I don't want to cross a line/I dunno how much I can talk about this on here.
:eek: ****! I was meant to spoiler that above.... great just great.

Anyone know how the hell I get rid of it ?
Original post by Anonymous
Just want to apologise for what I said last night, and I'm sorry if I offended anyone (I didn't mean to....)

Just forget what I said, and I'll just bugger off..

Sorry.

Spoiler because it's long. To summarise, I know how you feel


Hi, I thought I'd post because I really understand you (I think), and I've been there. When I was overweight, I had these feelings and I still do. The desire to get so sickly thin that people on the outside see how you are feeling on the inside, to ruin your body and to be living death. I want it so badly it makes me cry, and it's all I think about for a lot of the time. I did the starving, and got myself into a binge-restrict cycle for two years. I wasted two years on this bull****. I lost my period, was cold all the time, messed up my grades, alienated myself from family and realised pretty soon that I had no friends. The smaller I got, the more I convinced myself that it wouldn't matter when I was thin, because people at BMI 20 aren't ill at all anyway. I'm forcing myself to eat at least 2500 calories a day now, because I'm fed up. It's so freaking hard and I never want to get out of bed, and every time I gain some weight I tell myself I'll do it again soon. I will be thin, maybe after exams, maybe when I start university, but I will get ill (I'm hoping by then I won't want to). I know what you mean because you feel insane for wanting it so much.

My advice to you is to
1. never ever ever diet. You will get caught up. You may become Anorexic, Bulimic, EDNOS, whatever, but you understand that you are on the Restrictive Eating Disorder Spectrum, so you know that it is dangerous. Just like someone with epilepsy can't drive, or someone with diabetes can't eat loads of sugar when they want, you can't diet. It will be hard, but you have to accept it. You can have a healthy lifestyle, but you can't deliberately restrict your intake with the aim of losing weight. If you want I can put your mind at ease about being overweight, I have loads of info on that.
2. tell someone, anyone about these feelings. Get them out and maybe you'll get rid of them. If you go to uni, check out the mental health services, or go to your GP, or school counsellor. It is a mental disturbance and it can be changed, so please, please try.

Quote me if you have any questions xx
Urgh I forgot to do the end spoiler. That's embarrasing...

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