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At what point do homosexuals lose their virginity?

In a heterosexual relationship, virginity is determined by whether an individual has been involved in sexual intercourse, namely the penis into the vagina. However, this is not always possible in a homosexual relationship. Many men do not desire anal intercourse with their partner and for obvious reasons women cannot engage in penetration using their natural body parts. So my question is how do homosexuals lose their virginity?

My suggestion is that the concept of virginity exists only for heterosexuals. This isn't to say that a gay man's first sexual relations are less important than if he were straight, it just demonstrates a lack of definition. I believe this is a positive thing as it gives homosexuals personal freedom to determine their own boundaries and doesn't add further pressure of losing their virginity on top of living in a society where homosexuality isn't fully accepted.

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Reply 1

Maxisussex

I took it up the bum at 12,so 12 is my answer. I think most gays do anal at least once,those who hate it might not do it again or often but they're likely to do once at least.

Reply 2

Psyk

I suppose for men it would generally be considered to be when they first take part in anal sex.

For women, I'm not sure exactly. Vulva to vulva contact?

Reply 3

username457532

I consider that I'll have lost my virginity when within one 'session' I'll have both 'pleasured' her and been 'pleasured' by her.

God, that's strange wording but the best I've got right now...

Reply 4

Psyk

Original post by SmallTownGirl

I consider that I'll have lost my virginity when within one 'session' I'll have both 'pleasured' her and been 'pleasured' by her.

God, that's strange wording but the best I've got right now...

I suppose that means there's actually a higher bar for entry than there is for straight people, because it doesn't matter how good we are, it still counts :tongue:

Reply 5

anarchism101

You could just as easily say that virginity only exists for heterosexual women, since they're the only ones who actually undergo any physical change the first time they have sex, and even that's not reliable, as it's not uncommon for girls to break their hymen in horse riding or some other activity before they've had sex.

There's no physical or biological thing called 'virginity'. It's a concept we've invented. We could just as easily have a term for someone who hasn't broken a bone or smoked a cigarette yet.

Reply 6

the bear

There is an important legal issue here; for a gay marriage to be annulled on the grounds of non-consummation how will the judge determine whether consummation has or has not occurred ?

Reply 7

anarchism101

Original post by the bear

There is an important legal issue here; for a gay marriage to be annulled on the grounds of non-consummation how will the judge determine whether consummation has or has not occurred ?

Why are gay couples going to want their marriages annulled?

Annulment and divorce don't really have any difference except the name anymore in practical terms - the former basically exists for Catholics and other religions that prohibit 'divorce'.

I'd also point out that officials have been unable to find any recent case of annulment on grounds of non-consummation.

Reply 8

ncsoftlover

Original post by Maxisussex

I took it up the bum at 12,so 12 is my answer. I think most gays do anal at least once,those who hate it might not do it again or often but they're likely to do once at least.

did you enjoy it?

Reply 9

KATYWATY

'virginity' is an old fashioned sexist concept. It's all about a woman being pure. Lots of religions teach that sex should only be for procreation and that a woman should be 'pure' when married. Also a woman doesn't have to break her hymen when having sex for the first time. It can be stretched out over time with fingers etc. and with lots of foreplay shouldn't tear. You don't lose anything after having intercourse so it's not really a thing for anybody.

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Reply 10

RightSaidJames

Who cares? Virginity is just a word, really.

Reply 11

dj1015

Original post by nickth

IT IS

Reply 12

Tortious

Here - I'd like to direct you to Autostraddle's (lesbian) "Is It Sex?" flow chart.

Flow Chart

I think it's fair to say that any activity involving two or more people is likely to be construed as one in which the participant in question loses her virginity.

However, I'd be inclined to agree that the notion of "virginity" isn't/shouldn't be of paramount importance.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 13

Pink Boy

Original post by Psyk

I suppose for men it would generally be considered to be when they first take part in anal sex.

For women, I'm not sure exactly. Vulva to vulva contact?

When one is done by a strap-on obviously.

Reply 14

Maxisussex

Original post by ncsoftlover

did you enjoy it?

Very much so and bizarrely it didn't hurt until I reached adulthood.

Reply 15

ncsoftlover

Original post by Maxisussex

Very much so and bizarrely it didn't hurt until I reached adulthood.

good then, I hope you were not taken advantage of though since you were that young.

Reply 16

ForgetMe

Original post by Maxisussex

I took it up the bum at 12,so 12 is my answer. I think most gays do anal at least once,those who hate it might not do it again or often but they're likely to do once at least.

Shoo away, you damn troll!

Reply 17

ch0llima

I have wondered about this in terms of lesbianism. It seems stupid to me that a lesbian who has never had penetrative sex with another man should still be considered a "virgin", despite having a lifelong high level of sexual experience with other women.

Similarly, are gay men still virgins if they have never had vaginal sex or indeed any sexual contact with a woman?

People have differing interpretations of the term in its normal context, anyway. Some people tell me that man loses his virginity simply by penetrating a vagina for the first time even momentarily, whereas others say it doesn't count unless he carries on to orgasm and coming - who's correct? Does the same apply for straight girls if they don't have an orgasm the first time?

Original post by KATYWATY

'virginity' is an old fashioned sexist concept. It's all about a woman being pure.

Indeed. This is a crucial misinterpretation in the story of The Nativity as well, apparently; The "Virgin Mary" wasn't a virgin in that sense and it was an incorrect translation of a term used to describe someone of good character and virtue, not someone who had never had sex.