The Student Room Group

Drunken "mistake" by girlfriend

Scroll to see replies

Reply 60
There's an old Irish saying - "Wine lets out the truth".

I happen to agree with this. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, it doesn't change your beliefs.
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 61
I cannot believe how repressed these people are. There is an implied right of ownership between these two people. Did they draw up a contract before the relationship began? How is a transgression evaluated? Who is the judge. How bad is the sin? How bad the punishment. The guy doesn't know how to ove only how to possess
Reply 62
Original post by Muffer
Oh, oh my god - you aren't an uninhibited, irresponsible drunk?

Gosh, that just cleans up the whole debate. Your type of drunk - nay, personality - is clearly the benchmark needed for any dilemma on this subject, applicable to any person of any upbringing and personal makeup. Now we don't need to be confused over tiny irregularities like contradictory drives and spur-of-the-moment personally-motivated actions - instead we can all say together: IT'S JUST BS.


I feel there isnt any need for blaming alcohol. I think blaming alcohol has just become a popular way of escaping responsibility.
True there may be a number of people out there so so drunk that they genuinely have no idea what has happened, but i think the majority just use it as an excuse.

Spur of the moment actions i can understand, i cant understand spur of the moment actions where you cheat though.
I just dont understand how you cant know what youre doing is wrong, whether intoxicated or not and if you think alcohol is causing you to cheat, then stop drinking it!
MmM i dont know about that, i never have the urge when im in a happy relationship, just about all my good mates are the same. If theres an urge then i'd say somethings not right!
So she didn't sleep with anyone else, owned up to it and presumably feels guilty about quite a minor thing. (Yes to all the self-righteous people on here, a drunken kiss at a moment where people do kiss each other IS a minor thing) I can understand her saying she couldn't remember at first because if she does feel guilty was probably thinking 'oh god, what do I say?! I don't want him to break up with me?!'

Don't focus on 'honouring your principles', that is like severing contact with a friend because they annoyed you once, fairly immature.

My advice, tell her you feel hurt but don't want to break up. If she is genuinely sorry about forgive her and move on, that is literally all you can do.

Above all else, don't go online asking for advice, actually talk to HER.
To be honest being drunk isn't really an excuse, problem you have got now the trust is damaged and may never be re-built, I mean it is up to you but if she does do it again then I would consider ditching her.
Reply 66
Original post by MrMikeEsq
Alcohol brings out what she really wants to do. This wont be the last time


Posted from TSR Mobile


That's rubbish. People do things they don't want to do when they're drunk
Reply 67
Original post by Jam'
That's rubbish. People do things they don't want to do when they're drunk


Alcohol just lowers inhibitions, removes the barrier.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Reply 68
Original post by ct2k7
Alcohol just lowers inhibitions, removes the barrier.


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App


It makes people impulsive and not think about what they want to do.
No i see what you mean, but thats how i always felt about this sort thing!

Then again, people have different views on this, i know this girl who has been with her bf for like 2 years and she pulls guys in front of him, then back to him and neither give a rats ass about it! seem pretty happy so who am i to judge! :smile:

(in bold) Haha please, go on.. :biggrin:
Reply 70
Original post by Gwilym101
So she didn't sleep with anyone else, owned up to it and presumably feels guilty about quite a minor thing. (Yes to all the self-righteous people on here, a drunken kiss at a moment where people do kiss each other IS a minor thing) I can understand her saying she couldn't remember at first because if she does feel guilty was probably thinking 'oh god, what do I say?! I don't want him to break up with me?!'

Don't focus on 'honouring your principles', that is like severing contact with a friend because they annoyed you once, fairly immature.

My advice, tell her you feel hurt but don't want to break up. If she is genuinely sorry about forgive her and move on, that is literally all you can do.

Above all else, don't go online asking for advice, actually talk to HER.


How is it minor when it's a matter of trust? She broke it, therefore it's not minor at all as trust is the biggest thing in a relationship.

As I said before, it may have happened now and in my experience things are never the same after something like this.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Wait there, ima go make a new thread quickly lol, you clearly want to get something off your chest :biggrin:

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2216394

:biggrin:
(edited 11 years ago)
Reply 72
Break up with her, you absolute tool
The range of replies on this thread is comedic gold :biggrin:

Back to the OP.

Firstly, i'd say don't take advice from anyone on this thread, myself included. Why? cos everyone has their own levels of tolerance, acceptance, morals, sensitivity, etc, etc.

This is something you need to work out for yourself. How willing are you to overlook it? How is her character like? How sorry is she? How much does this mean to you, etc, etc?

Now if you asked me what i'd do in this very same situation...i'd break up with her and at the very least go on a very long break with no contact. Most likely it would be the end....simply cos she broke my trust and i'd find it hard to see past it. But thats just me. everyone is different.
Reply 74
Original post by CRIKEY12
Are you mature enough to be in an adult relationship?


What!?!?! Are you? Maybe you have a different opinion on what a mature relationship involves!?!

In my opinion, in a mature relationship, people are able to trust each other. If my boyfriend kissed someone while out with out me (or with me for that matter), it would most definitely break the trust...

If you're with someone, then surely that means you want to be with them and no one else. Why would you then want to kiss someone else?? My partner and I have worked had on our relationship, we know each other intimately and love each other a lot. I think he'd feel the same way if I kissed another man. Maybe I'm wrong though...

What's your opinion of a mature relationship, and do(es) your boyfriend(s) think it's acceptable for you to kiss other guys??
Easy answer, let her prove to you that you can trust her again, it happens to most people, I'm going to say this if she is genuinely sorry and she's been with you for ages, then you should just let her prove to you that she did it as a mere drunken mistake. But if you have only been with her for a couple of weeks and she acts like it isn't a big deal, good riddance.

Posted from TSR Mobile
If you aren't able to let it go and will hold it against her, then chuck in the towel now. It's not fair on either of you.
People only do these things when they are drunk, because they want to make the excuse that they were drinking but when someone is drunk they do what they really want because they think they can get away with it because they are drunk.

I advise you to stop the relationship there are millions of girls and she's not the only one in the world!

Damn I used the word drunk too many times!


This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
Reply 78
Drunk is never an excuse. From someone who's been black out drunk before. Take it from me - You'd be surprised how much control you have when drunk (obviously not motor control but I'd doubt she just fell onto his mouth).

If you blame you're actions on alcohol and think that makes it okay then that makes you a very irresponsible prick.
(edited 11 years ago)
Although she technically cheated on you, it was just a kiss. Surely you could make up with her and work it out together, I suppose it could have been a lot worse, had she had sex with him and she was drunk. I think the best thing to do is talk to her about it and tell her how you feel.

Quick Reply

Latest