Feel like I'll be single forever!

Well this isn't the case for me because I didn't sleep with any of these guys who only wanted sex, but when I used online dating it seemed most of the guys were looking only for sex and I've heard numerous women say they had a similar experience.

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I didn't say all men were I meant in my personal experience from when I used to use online dating.

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OP any girl who is single for a number of years is either too picky or too shallow. So yeah stop being those things.

sex should never ever ever come first, it'd be like ordering a meal in reverse and starting with the rocky road, leading back to the leek and potato soup starter everyone hates.

A relationship should start with a few semi-awkward dates just talking but all the while building the tension to the unexpected but right first kiss, followed by a few dates just being together, holding hands through the park etc.

or maybe that's just the romantic side of me being a single fool, I dunno :P

t's gotten to the point that I feel like maybe I'm just too weird for a relationship.

Maybe it just appears that they're only looking for sex, whereas what they're actually looking for is a relationship with a girl who wants to have sex with them.

Obviously if you refuse to have sex with them right from the start, then you're not going to be able to tell the difference.

Sexual compatability is one of those things you need to discover in the early stages before you can commit to a relationship, like whether you have a similar sense of humour or political views. There's no right or wrong order to discover these things. You might as well find out straight away whether you're wasting your time. Imagine going on numerous dates then you finally get her into bed and it turns out she's really into scat. If only you'd known that earlier you could have been out dating someone less secretly mental.

What you mean? lol.
I think weird is good .

equally, you aren't likely to find that out by sleeping together a few hours after meeting - have you ever had a one night stand like that?

besides, one fetish isn't exactly a deal-breaker, that's what the internet & self-gratification is for

Well, things like being bullied at school for being too weird for a relationship, then when I did finally date someone in secondary school, I found it hard to be affectionate with him for some reason (frigidness I guess, but I was 16 so I dunno how weird that is at that age). And now I've been single again for so long and keep getting rejected by guys I'm interested in, I can't keep thinking it's because of something they all find a bit strange about me, even though I try to be a nice person I'm just so confused about how to be likeable . And then the only guy I've recently been able to attract in ages turns out to be a massive pervert. This bad luck just seems never-ending...

I have been single for about 2 and a half years now and generally feel very lonely, relationship wise, as of late. There have been a couple of guys that I liked but it never seems to go anywhere, not through not trying on my part (I don't think!)

I don't feel like I'll ever meet anyone who wants to be with me? Anyone else feel/felt like this?

Its often the case that a girl sleeps with a guy, and then when he breaks up with her she mistakenly concludes that was all he wanted all along. Often he would have been interested in a relationship, just turned out not with that particular girl. You learn a lot about how well its going to work the first time you sleep with someone, immediately after it happens is a perfectly sensible time to come to some kind of decision as to whether to take things further or not.

Actually, deciding whether or not you want a relationship to go further is probably better to do BEFORE you sleep with someone. The first time you have sex with a new person is never going to be that amazing, and it's certainly not as good as it could be if you hadn't managed to build up a strong bond first.

Anything else is just messing people around. You don't get to go around having sex with everyone on the pretence that no no, you would be happy to have a relationship...juuust not with them after all. But you're happy to sleep with them regardless. It just doesn't make sense. All it does is leave the impression that it is actually sex at the top of the priority list, and the girl's personality is somewhere far below that.

I will admit that sometimes sex is a good indicator of whether or not you do click with someone, but I do not think it should be the first indicator used to judge that - you can get a good idea whether or not you click by looking at how much you get on, how much you have in common, how it feels when you kiss them...

Actually, deciding whether or not you want a relationship to go further is probably better to do BEFORE you sleep with someone. The first time you have sex with a new person is never going to be that amazing, and it's certainly not as good as it could be if you hadn't managed to build up a strong bond first.

Anything else is just messing people around. You don't get to go around having sex with everyone on the pretence that no no, you would be happy to have a relationship...juuust not with them after all. But you're happy to sleep with them regardless. It just doesn't make sense. All it does is leave the impression that it is actually sex at the top of the priority list, and the girl's personality is somewhere far below that.

I will admit that sometimes sex is a good indicator of whether or not you do click with someone, but I do not think it should be the first indicator used to judge that - you can get a good idea whether or not you click by looking at how much you get on, how much you have in common, how it feels when you kiss them...

OP any girl who is single for a number of years is either too picky or too shallow. So yeah stop being those things.

Have you considered that you're trying too hard to get a relationship? Maybe you're coming across as clingy or desperate by trying to hold onto any opportunity that comes you way.

If it helps, I have been single for 19 years!

yeppp, I've been single close on 5 years now... not that I haven't been trying! Liked several guys but none of them really felt the same way. Kinda accepted it by now and realised being single isn't actually that bad!
Best thing to do I think is get out there and meet new people, are you at uni or something similar? Joining local groups/societies can be great for meeting like minded individuals

Maybe you just had bad experiences or for some reason the weirdoes are attracted to you lol.

Deciding upon the future viability of a relationship is an ongoing process, surely?

Some girls you reject on sight because they're fugly, some you reject after a brief conversation because they're annoying, some after a date because they're mental, some after sex because they're crap in bed, some after a few weeks because they're not as interesting as you thought, until eventually you meet a girl that you don't reject at all.


perhaps "reject" is the wrong word, but you see what I mean.

I agree with this. As well as messing people around I also think it's like using someone for sex.

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Sexual compatability is one of those things you need to discover in the early stages before you can commit to a relationship, like whether you have a similar sense of humour or political views. There's no right or wrong order to discover these things. You might as well find out straight away whether you're wasting your time. Imagine going on numerous dates then you finally get her into bed and it turns out she's really into scat. If only you'd known that earlier you could have been out dating someone less secretly mental.