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I like to treat my men...

Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?

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It's really nice that you do stuff like this, hopefully you'll end up with someone who treats you in the same way.
Reply 2
Avatar for dr-jimmy
dr-jimmy
I'm not a guy but if I was I'd feel really lucky to date a girl like that, you sound lovely.:smile:
Original post by Future African game vet
Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?


Its really nice to do! The only danger is that you might get taken for granted if you do it too often. I think the key is balance- you treating him but also make sure that he's treating you:wink::wink:
You can do that if you want to but as you've already said, you don't get treated like that in return and end up being taken for granted. A relationship is a two way thing, not just you putting all the effort in.
Your past boyfriends have been the luckiest men alive. Your friends can't just generalise all women and say that they're meant to be tended to. It's incredibly refreshing to hear that there are some generous and thoughtful women out there. Congratulations.
Well that's really nice of you. I don't think I've heard of many people doing that. Just make sure you don't end up being used/taken for granted.

On a side note, that's one awesome signature.
What's in the special breakfast. This could be key :holmes:
that sounds lovely but tbh me and a lot of other people in their late teens/early twenties would take advantage of you for this and feel less compelled to put effort in ourselves. even subconsiously if my gf was as you describe yourself i'd start expecting breakfast everyday etc. you're giving yourself a high standard to live up to. idk if that's a bad thing but you'd be far better appreciated by a partner in their late twenties.
Reply 9
Avatar for Katie_p
Katie_p
15
Urgh I hate it when women say they should be treated, it's a man's job to hold open doors/chairs, buy them flowers and chocolates and don't do anything in return.

I pre-ordered Skyrim for my bf - not particularly romantic I know, but it was really appreciated. :smile:

I think it's important that both parties make the occasional gesture to show their respect and appreciation for each other and the relationship. If you're not getting it back, I think perhaps you should tone it down a little so that you aren't taken advantage of. But I think it's really sweet and commendable that you make the effort.


One of my housemates expects gifts from her partner and never gets him anything. She has a charm bracelet and demanded more charms for her birthday when he was broke!
aw, thank you all for the kind replies :smile: I was beginning to think that perhaps it was the reason I get over looked so much, because people think it's strange for women to do this... that maybe they think I'm trying to hard, but it's honestly how I just naturally behave with people I care about, as no one seems to have really appreciated it, and in some cases have just ignored my gestures completely and never acknowledged them!

But thank you, please do carry on with your opinions - positive or negative, they are all very interesting!

x
Original post by Future African game vet
Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?


marry me pls

If I had a girlfriend I would LOVE this. It shows that she really cares about you. I should try and do this and be a good boyfriend (when I have one of course lol)
Reply 12
Avatar for Tabzqt
Tabzqt
Can you be my girlfriend?
Original post by Future African game vet
Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?


i think you sound great (and your sig is awesome)

Just as long as its returned in you direction and its fine
Original post by SillyRodent
What's in the special breakfast. This could be key :holmes:


Well it varies :tongue: but the most recent one was:

Drink: Pineapple, mango and orange juice
Side bits: Bowl of olives, feta, italian ham - Pancakes with syrup / nutella with raspberries
Main bit: Sausage, bacon, egg, tomatoes and mushrooms with a side of seasoned fried onions and spinach topped with goats cheese

(my parents are chefs.... so food is kind of how I like to express myself)
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by silverbolt
i think you sound great (and your sig is awesome)

Just as long as its returned in you direction and its fine



Original post by The Assassin
Well that's really nice of you. I don't think I've heard of many people doing that. Just make sure you don't end up being used/taken for granted.

On a side note, that's one awesome signature.



Thank you :smile: Those are 2 of my favorite quotes that I used on my signature! x
Original post by Future African game vet
Well it varies :tongue: but the most recent one was:

Drink: Pineapple, mango and orange juice
Side bits: Bowl of olives, feta, italian ham - Pancakes with syrup / nutella with raspberries
Main bit: Sausage, bacon, egg, tomatoes and mushrooms with a side of seasoned fried onions and spinach topped with goats cheese

(my parents are chefs.... so food is kind of how I like to express myself)


Holy crap.

Edit: (as in 'gosh that it a breakfast of kings')
Reply 17
Avatar for Eboracum
Eboracum
18
You sound like a rather lovely and warm girlfriend. Nobody in their right mind would mark you down for these things. You have nothing to worry about and any man that finds it weird, well he's the one with the issue.

It's 2013. It's simply not a mans job to always do things for a woman. It has to be a 50/50 split. Keep it up Future African game vet.
You are right, your friend is wrong.

A relationship is a two way street.

You sound lovely :smile:
Reply 19
Avatar for ildaf123
ildaf123
4
It sounds nice but I would only do things like that if the guy did stuff like that back. I wouldnt want to do too too much for him as I think that makes you vulnerable to be taken advantage of, and I wouldnt wanted to be considered as 'whipped' or someone just there at his beck and call.

But I do think it is important to do some nice/romantic gestures to your boyfriend, rather than just expect it all to come from him.

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