The Student Room Group

I like to treat my men...

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Original post by Danz123
OP, you're probably going to get a lot of people asking for your hand in marriage now. :biggrin:

Anyway, I think it's all been said already by other posters. You sound wonderful and any guy in their right mind would love all the things you do. They would also, if they were decent, reciprocate. Don't listen to your friends saying it's the man's duty to do all this, because it isn't. I hate that attitude, and have never really met anyone who is the opposite. You've given me hope though. :P


Thank you for your kind words. Don't give up, people who appreciate the little things people do for them are out there.

And maybe I should start scouting for my ideal man on here haha, seem to be more like-minded people on here than in the non-virtual world within my grasp :tongue: one day.... :rolleyes:
Reply 61
Original post by Future African game vet
Thank you for your kind words. Don't give up, people who appreciate the little things people do for them are out there.

And maybe I should start scouting for my ideal man on here haha, seem to be more like-minded people on here than in the non-virtual world within my grasp :tongue: one day.... :rolleyes:


You're very welcome, and I won't give up don't worry. :smile: It's not just this though, it's the whole idea of men being expected to ask a girl out, pay for everything, being telepathic and knowing what to say through 'hints' etc. I'd rather a girl just be straight forward and not have these expectations. Then again maybe that's why I'm single. I don't have the power of telepathy after all.

Yes you should, but I'm pretty sure if you're the selfless and caring type of girlfriend, that virtually all men will like you. Partly because of how awesome it is, and partly because girls like that are very rare.
It's all nice what your doing but reality is we do not live in a
Perfect world. So I am just going to tell it to you straight,
People will take advantage of you because 1) you are naive. 2)
Relationships at your age never really last had it been your husband
I would have understood.

So unless you want people to walk all over you stop trying to continuously
Please them. Maybe then they might try to do nice things for you.
I know this sounds harsh but there is a reason as to why your relationships
Has not lasted long.
Reply 63
Original post by Future African game vet
Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?


would girlfriend /10
Reply 64
Sounds really nice and I applaud you for putting that much effort but after a while I think I would get suffocated if someone did all that for me.
Maybe that's just me; I don't like people paying too much attention to me. It makes me feel nervous and embarrassed :P
Reply 65
OP I think its great that you do this. Most girls would'nt bother because they naturally want to fit into typical gender roles thinking it should be the boyfriend that should be doing all of this. The reality is if both girlfriend and boyfriend do things like this then your relationship is likely to last a lot longer because it shows your aprechiation for that person. I think its important that both people do this otherwise as others have mentioned he might start taking you for granted.
Wow you are really lovely, there is nothing weird about that at all. As long as your boyfriend is appreciative :tongue:
I think that's really sweet, just like others have said, as long as you're not being taken for granted. Relationships really are about both parties making an effort. You sound like a lovely girlfriend!
Original post by Pinkhead
Sounds really nice and I applaud you for putting that much effort but after a while I think I would get suffocated if someone did all that for me.
Maybe that's just me; I don't like people paying too much attention to me. It makes me feel nervous and embarrassed :P


That's why you don't do it all the time :tongue: Just on occasion (but not rarely), doing it too often would make anyone uncomfortable!!

And yes, I feel uncomfortable when people pay too much attention to me, I actually prefer to be the one giving the most attention (with regards to the things I mentioned above!)
Reply 69
I'm exactly the same with girlfriends... don't think its weird and even if it was, why change? Someone will eventually love it and that will be the person that matters. My ex used to do similar small things in the start of my relationship too.
Reply 70
You are wifey material
Wow you sound like a really lovely person :smile:
Most guys would love to have a girlfriend like you! :tongue:
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by Future African game vet
Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?


OP i would feel a little awkward if my girlfriend did this too much. Maybe that's just me.
The proof will be in the pudding though:

What kind of men do you attract? Are you attracting the kind of men you want?
Original post by Future African game vet
Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?


The hell? Your friends sound like broken tramps, sorry.

I know the notion of romance is dead but seriously don't ever change. It's not meant to be a 'duty', and I know it's cool for girls to forget they have ovaries and behave like LADS as much as guys feel pressured to but seriously, the world neeeeds women who aren't just yet another boozed up tart. (No offence to boozed up tarts, you girls are great to but there's so many of you a guy yearns for variety!)

I would murder for a woman who understood the lost art of romantic gestures.

Please, just. Just don't ever change. (e _ e)
Original post by localfox1000
OP i would feel a little awkward if my girlfriend did this too much. Maybe that's just me.
The proof will be in the pudding though:

What kind of men do you attract? Are you attracting the kind of men you want?


I seem to attract an array, I haven't had tonnes of boyfriends, just a small few, but they have all been very different. There was only one I thought I could be with for the long haul; though he changed a lot, we stopped working so well and now I barely recognize him... he doesn't act like the man I knew anymore. And don't worry, I don't do it too much :tongue: I can generally tell how much a person can cope with depending on their personalities; though Im not saying I don't get it wrong sometimes.

All I know is the last couple of people I have been with didn't see me as a long term option, but did enjoy being with me, so Im a little scared of being taken advantage of now. Although i don't want to change, I sometimes feel there is no place for a girl who acts like me in this day and age... it doesn't seem to be what people want (in general) :frown:

However, I am very surprised and pleased with the responses to this thread, it's starting to give me hope and faith that I can carry on being me, and eventually I WILL meet someone who I can be like this with without questioning myself
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
The hell? Your friends sound like broken tramps, sorry.

I know the notion of romance is dead but seriously don't ever change. It's not meant to be a 'duty', and I know it's cool for girls to forget they have ovaries and behave like LADS as much as guys feel pressured to but seriously, the world neeeeds women who aren't just yet another boozed up tart. (No offence to boozed up tarts, you girls are great to but there's so many of you a guy yearns for variety!)

I would murder for a woman who understood the lost art of romantic gestures.

Please, just. Just don't ever change. (e _ e)


I promise, I wont ever change :tongue: even if it means I die alone with hundreds of cats (who will be treated like princes as replacements for the person who never came into my life :tongue: )
Reply 76
Original post by Future African game vet
Today I was having a debate with a friend, She was saying it's weird for a girl to treat a man the way I do;

Whenever I have been in a relationship I like to do little things for the man I am dating. I wake up early and sneak out to the shop to cook special breakfasts for them, set up surprise evenings doing their favorite things, take them out for a walk at night to look at the stars away from the town's lights, make them gifts occasionally, send little messages every so often to try and brighten up their day - not ALL the time- that'd be weird, but regularly... however I have been told by my female friends that its not our "duty" as women to take that role.... surely it works both ways?

Personally, I have never had anyone treat me in the same way back, either they just accept it and say very little, or begin to take it for granted- but this is just what I do...

What are your opinions on this sort of thing? Is it ok for me to do this? Or would guys find it odd?


I've always done the same, cooking their favourite food, getting them beer if they're coming round, that sort of thing. I paid for me and my ex to see Skyfall, and I'd often buy HIM drinks... It's always been appreciated at first, then majorly taken for granted, so I know how it feels. I'm just a very generous person.
Original post by rosee92
I've always done the same, cooking their favourite food, getting them beer if they're coming round, that sort of thing. I paid for me and my ex to see Skyfall, and I'd often buy HIM drinks... It's always been appreciated at first, then majorly taken for granted, so I know how it feels. I'm just a very generous person.


Good for you :smile: Glad there are others out there.

ps. you study very close to me :tongue:
Reply 78
Original post by Arnob204
OP is clearly like-whoring. She knows full well all the males who don't like women's demand to be treated will love this. You haven't said anything particularly profound or interesting, all you've said is "Look at me everyone! Look how much I break the stereotype! (Could you give me likes?)"

In conclusion, everyone who has liked OP's post is an idiot.


You sound a bit jealous you can't a women like that :laugh:
Reply 79
i wish all girls were like this, life would be awesome :smile:

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