Ask a Transwoman!

OP

Original post by Ronove

Lily can correct me if I'm wrong but what I think you don't understand is that for the nerve endings to still function, the penis is never disconnected in any way - we're not really at the stage where we can force nerves to reconnect properly if they've been severed. I don't personally know what is removed as such to create the space for the vaginal cavity but I do know that the penis skin is then pushed in, inside-out, as it were, to form the walls of it. I think that's it anyway.

apparently, though Ive never looked, - there is a video of the full sugery, on youtube... if anyone really is that interested :tongue:

Im not completly 100% on the specifics of the operation though, after all Im just a music student - medicine is by a long way not my field :redface:

Reply 45

OP

Original post by Ronove

I know Lily's male name by virtue of her PayPal account still being under it and I think Lily is a vast improvement (it's my dad's middle name and he doesn't like it either). :teehee:

actually, you dont :wink:

When I was setting up the campaigns site.. I tried to link it to my paypal acount.. but it wouldnt work - as my account is limmited (due to my name change, im still waiting for them to get back to me, having sent in proof of ID)

So as it wouldnt let me use my account, I linked it to my dads :tongue:

Adrian is my father :smile:

(however if you really wish to know, never had a huge problem telling people.. I liked it as a male name.. my old name was nathan)

Reply 46

OP

Original post by minimarshmallow

Hey Lily, I love that you've done this thread :smile:

education is key!
A more light hearted question from me, how did you chose Lily as a name? Is it similar to the name your parents gave you as a male or not?

aw thanks

there is a good story to my name actually..

Its nothing to do with my old name (nathan, as said above)

-- but I wrote down a list of names I liked.. which included things like: Alex, Natalie, Eve, Ivy, Lily, and a few more. - all these were picked because either I liked them, or I had some history/emotional/family connection with that name

Then I eliminated a lot for different reasons - for exsample, eve because whilst its my fav name, my baby cousin has just been called it, - alex, because its to gender-neutral.. etc. etc.

And I was left with two names: Lily and natalie.

I then decided that I didnt want it to be to near nathan, so natalie was a out - and I was left with lily :smile:

but that wasnt it.. - I wanted to test it, before I told people :tongue:

(I was out for about 3 months before I chose my name)

So, I brought a hamster! (i was planning on doing this anyway) - and called the hamster lily. - Over the next few weeks I gauged everyones reaction to the name 'lily', with most people saying it was lovely, and a few going as far as saying I should use it for myself..

So it was set :smile:

I called myself Lily, - and the hamster became 'the hamster formerly known as lily' (or alex) (hamster is still alive and living in my home, away from uni :smile:

)

So thats about it :P how I ended up with lily :smile:

Reply 47

I’ve been interested in the transcommunity in the UK for quite some time, so I’m glad you started this. The questions I’ve always wanted to ask is, are you the type of transperson who naturally looks quite feminine or do you look very masculine? Does ‘your look’ make a difference to the overall trans experience? Some of the transwomen in place like Thailand look extremely feminine without the need for additional facial surgery. For example the person below was born a man:

I would never have known she wasn't born a girl if I saw her in the street.

　

Would you have the additional surgery to ‘feminise’ the face? When you see the documentaries on transpeople, you see very little on facial surgery and the focus is always on genitals, but I always thought that was extremely important to the overall look. Thanks for the info, really great thread btw.

I always imagined that for transwomen it can be a bit harder than for transmen. This is because you can naturally get very girlish looking men who aren't trans, but if you look extremely masculine, I imagine it would be much more difficult to look like a woman.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 48

username234673

17

When you look at photos of yourself pre all of this, how do you feel? Do you even relate to that person any more? Is Nathan dead?

Reply 49

Arnob204

How old are you?
What do your parents think?
What do your friends think?
Why should we pay so much attention to a group of people that make up a tiny proportion of the population?

Reply 50

OP

Original post by Sphinx_5494

I’ve been interested in the transcommunity in the UK for quite some time, so I’m glad you started this. The questions I’ve always wanted to ask is, are you the type of transperson who naturally looks quite feminine or do you look very masculine? Does ‘your look’ make a difference to the overall trans experience? Some of the transwomen in place like Thailand look extremely feminine without the need for additional facial surgery. For example the person below was born a man:

I would never have known she wasn't born a girl if I saw her in the street.

　

Would you have the additional surgery to ‘feminise’ the face? When you see the documentaries on transpeople, you see very little on facial surgery and the focus is always on genitals, but I always thought that was extremely important to the overall look. Thanks for the info, really great thread btw.

I always imagined that for transwomen it can be a bit harder than for transmen. This is because you can naturally get very girlish looking men who aren't trans, but if you look extremely masculine, I imagine it would be much more difficult to look like a woman.

umm, if it were a spectrum - with 1 bieng completly feminine, and 5 being masculine trans woman..

Then I would say im about a 3.5-4

Im not that masculin, I mean I started transitioning at still relitivly young (in context) - which works in my favour.. - and with makeup/other bits, I can avoid looking to masculin..

But I rearely pass/convince people..

hopefully when Ive been on hormones for a bit longer, that will help me be a bit more feminine, and then maybe some point in the futer, facial sugery would be an option..

I definatly wont rule it out, and if I were to stay the way I am now.. I would have it.. - but Im hoping through hormones I will be able to avoid it.. - as its very intrusive/painfull..

- I wont comment particulary on if life is harder for a trans man or woman... - they are certianly different experiances, - whilst having a fair bit in common.. the struggles and problems for each are unique.. - is one harder then the other? I dont know :tongue:

Ive never tried both :tongue:

Reply 51

OP

Original post by mikeyd85

When you look at photos of yourself pre all of this, how do you feel? Do you even relate to that person any more? Is Nathan dead?

oo interesting one :smile:

Photos.. Im ok with actually (a little unusually) - they dont bother me to much :smile:

the second two, il answer together:

No, nathan isn't dead at all, and yes I do relate to him :smile:

- after all, you dont suddenly change person, you are still the same person, with the same wierd intricinties.. the same problems, the same experiances, memories, loves, hates etc.. - My life as nathan defined who I am today, and I will always be greatful for that (whilst always slightly wishing I had been able to grow up as a normal girl) - But I am still the same person.. I like to think of it as:
Rather then, lily replaced nathan.. Nathan was lily all along, but just didnt realise it at the time :smile:

Reply 52

OP

Original post by Arnob204

How old are you?
What do your parents think?
What do your friends think?
Why should we pay so much attention to a group of people that make up a tiny proportion of the population?

21

My parents are completly fine with it these days :smile:

(I am very lucky). It was a shock to them at first, and it took about 6 months for them to be completly ok with it, and understand it.. but these days they are more then supportive :smile:

My friends are similar.. they beyond suprised me.. and ive been blown away by their support, ranging from old school friends, to new people Ive met since :smile:

- but that may be because, if someone doesnt agree with it, or has a problem with me.. they probably aren't going to be my friend for long :wink:

Should we pay so much attention?

'so much' is an interesting phrase.. actually, very very little gets paid in any serrious manner. - the only attention the trans community usually gets, is when its used as a shock/freaky story in the daily mail etc. - or used as a gag in the media (look its a tranny its hilliarious etc..)
The serrious side of trans life, the bullying, harassment, lack of understanding, individual needs.. gets very little attention paid to it..

Should we spend time helping a small amount of the population? - if we can, yes... should their needs come above the majority, arguably no. - but in real life, there is no reason we cant to do both..
Whilst the trans community may be small.. we lead some of the hardest lives.. - I mean, there is a reason why 1 in 3 trans people will try and attempt suicide..

Reply 53

Original post by fallen_acorns

umm, if it were a spectrum - with 1 bieng completly feminine, and 5 being masculine trans woman..

Then I would say im about a 3.5-4

Im not that masculin, I mean I started transitioning at still relitivly young (in context) - which works in my favour.. - and with makeup/other bits, I can avoid looking to masculin..

But I rearely pass/convince people..

hopefully when Ive been on hormones for a bit longer, that will help me be a bit more feminine, and then maybe some point in the futer, facial sugery would be an option..

I definatly wont rule it out, and if I were to stay the way I am now.. I would have it.. - but Im hoping through hormones I will be able to avoid it.. - as its very intrusive/painfull..

- I wont comment particulary on if life is harder for a trans man or woman... - they are certianly different experiances, - whilst having a fair bit in common.. the struggles and problems for each are unique.. - is one harder then the other? I dont know :tongue:

Ive never tried both :tongue:

By 'harder' I meant to the ability to pass as the opposite sex. I imagine it would be easier for FTM (female to male) trans to pass as 'natural' males because some men can look naturally quite girlish. Whereas for MTF, its harder to look naturally feminine if you have a masculine face.

Also, in terms of facial structure, how could taking hormones help? The actual propotion of a mans face in terms of bone structure can be very different to that of a woman, e.g. more prominent jaw line, thicker nose, normally the hair line starts further back. I don't think hormones can change teh structure of bone. Also thank you for answering my questions. :smile:

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 54

Is the transcommunity in the UK very diverse? Are they black, asian, chinese and mixed race trans people. You mainly see white people presented within documentaries.

Reply 55

OP

Original post by Sphinx_5494

By 'harder' I meant to the ability to pass as the opposite sex. I imagine it would be easier for FTM (female to male) trans to pass as 'natural' males because some men can look naturally quite girlish. Whereas for MTF, its harder to look naturally feminine if you have a masculine face.

Also, in terms of facial structure, how could taking hormones help? The actual propotion of a mans face in terms of bone structure can be very different to that of a woman, e.g. more prominent jaw line, thicker nose, normally the hair line starts further back. I don't think hormones can change teh structure of bone. Also thank you for answering my questions. :smile:

Ah ok, in which case - id say it depends on the person..

both have different struggles - in early stages, passing as a trans man, is pretty imposible.. and involves painfull binding, and often looking like a boy, rather then a man.. - but with hormones, it can be alot easier.. especially by bulking up a bit.. + with chest sugery.. though they have a really rough time with their lower sugery :frown:

For trans women, its very very variable.. for some they pass with no hormones or anything.. for others they may never pass at all..

- as for facial structure.. whilst it may not change your bones to much, it does alter the fat+mussle distribution of your body, which can often make your face apear slightly more femine..
take a look at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xjM-wJYMCg

and you will see what I mean :smile:

Reply 56

OP

Original post by Sphinx_5494

Is the transcommunity in the UK very diverse? Are they black, asian, chinese and mixed race trans people. You mainly see white people presented within documentaries.

It largely follows the demographic of the country.. so the vast majority are white - just as the majority of people are white..

But there is a slight disproportion, statistically there are less 'out' LGBT people in the black community, and as such - its slightly rarer to see a black trans woman..

- but it is a fairly diverse community, but probably no more so then the level of diversity in the general public :smile:

Reply 57

Original post by fallen_acorns

Ah ok, in which case - id say it depends on the person..

both have different struggles - in early stages, passing as a trans man, is pretty imposible.. and involves painfull binding, and often looking like a boy, rather then a man.. - but with hormones, it can be alot easier.. especially by bulking up a bit.. + with chest sugery.. though they have a really rough time with their lower sugery :frown:

For trans women, its very very variable.. for some they pass with no hormones or anything.. for others they may never pass at all..

- as for facial structure.. whilst it may not change your bones to much, it does alter the fat+mussle distribution of your body, which can often make your face apear slightly more femine..
take a look at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xjM-wJYMCg

and you will see what I mean :smile:

Ohmigosh! Was that youtube clip with no surgery at all? If so, then I guess I solely underestimated the effect of hormones (and how important fat distribution is to the female face). When you see the before, he had quite a masculine facial structure and I NEVER would have thought that kind of face could look feminine without surgery.

Also, I never realised that both had such intense physical difficulities.

Reply 58

lightburns

15

Original post by fallen_acorns

- as for facial structure.. whilst it may not change your bones to much, it does alter the fat+mussle distribution of your body, which can often make your face apear slightly more femine..
take a look at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xjM-wJYMCg

and you will see what I mean :smile:

Slightly?? Damn, that's more than slightly :P I was quite impressed by the changes in that video. I don't really know any trans women, and the ones I've talked to in person were early in transition.

Reply 59

OP