Ask a Transwoman!

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I know that gender dysmorphia leads to feeling disconnected or like you're in the wrong body, but beyond the actual physicality of being a woman, how important are the more socially constructed "traditional" aspects of being a female to you? Like wearing makeup and heels, for example, or watching chick flicks at a girls night.

Also, massive kudos to you for doing this thread.

Not overly important at all.. as such..

But that doesnt mean I dont enjoy them :smile:

- though I dont wear heels.. Im already 6ft, and 6,1 in my boots.. thats way to tall as it is - let alone with heels..
Makeup I have no choice with.. - I have to wear it to have any chance of looking normal.. my chin, still looks quite blue and quite stubbly, so I wear a fair bit of concealing makeup every day (sometimes applied twice a day) to cover that up, and make my face apear normal and more feminine :smile:

All of these little things, are not important to me.. - but the fact that I can do them, is very important.. - and is a luxory ive been denied most of my life :smile:

Reply 81

fallen_acorns

Right.. Im probably going to regret this - but time to be brave :smile:

(and quite frankly, if anyone knows me in real life, they will already know this is me.. from the information.. so.. screw it :smile:

)

Oh crap... *panics*

Photos:

Me (now)

Spoiler

Timeline of me before and after:

Spoiler

So there we go.. infomative trans-thread..

lily x

Reply 82

amyshamblesxx

Original post by fallen_acorns

Right.. Im probably going to regret this - but time to be brave :smile:

(and quite frankly, if anyone knows me in real life, they will already know this is me.. from the information.. so.. screw it :smile:

)

Oh crap... *panics*

Photos:

Me (now)

Spoiler

Timeline of me before and after:

Spoiler

So there we go.. infomative trans-thread..

lily x

+rep

You look great, I love your hair!

Reply 83

fallen_acorns

Original post by amyshamblesxx

+rep

You look great, I love your hair!

thank you, thats very sweet :redface:

So nervous about these being here, so means alot to hear that :smile:

Reply 84

minimarshmallow

Original post by fallen_acorns

Right.. Im probably going to regret this - but time to be brave :smile:

(and quite frankly, if anyone knows me in real life, they will already know this is me.. from the information.. so.. screw it :smile:

)

Oh crap... *panics*

Photos:

Me (now)

Spoiler

Timeline of me before and after:

Spoiler

So there we go.. infomative trans-thread..

lily x

Probably not the questions you wanted, but where did you get the dress in your now pictures?

Thank you for posting these, you're very brave.

Reply 85

Ronove

Original post by fallen_acorns

Right.. Im probably going to regret this - but time to be brave :smile:

(and quite frankly, if anyone knows me in real life, they will already know this is me.. from the information.. so.. screw it :smile:

)

Oh crap... *panics*

Photos:

Me (now)

Spoiler

Timeline of me before and after:

Spoiler

So there we go.. infomative trans-thread..

lily x

You have a nice face already, I can imagine hormones working a treat on you. :smile:

Reply 86

Tortious

Original post by Ronove

You have a nice face already, I can imagine hormones working a treat on you. :smile:

Ditto - you can already see a huge difference between the fourth and last pictures, Lily. Your face looks narrower. :h:

Reply 87

fallen_acorns

Original post by minimarshmallow

Probably not the questions you wanted, but where did you get the dress in your now pictures?

Thank you for posting these, you're very brave.

aw, sorry I dont know! :frown:

It was a christmas present..

Reply 88

fallen_acorns

Original post by Ronove

You have a nice face already, I can imagine hormones working a treat on you. :smile:

that is quite a flattering photo :wink:

any photo where im not trying to look feminine, still looks pretty male :frown:

Reply 89

fallen_acorns

Original post by Juno

If you had the choice of being a cis woman or a cis man, which would you choose and why?

Sent from my GT-S5363

no preference.

Probably a cis man - just because, overall I would still say they have a slightly easier time with things..

But I wouldnt care :smile:

- because, by virtue of being cis, id be equally happy with either, and have no complaints.

:smile:

Reply 90

Michaelj

I'll say, congratulations on being brave to post your pics.

Reply 91

fallen_acorns

Original post by Juno

People take a lot of clues from what you wear and how you act, though. So if you're wearing more feminine clothes and make up and things people will probably not care as much as you think. They'll probably just think you're more ugly - which isn't actually meant as an insult, I just can't think of how better to phrase it. Since being trans isn't common it's not really the first thing people think of. You think You look male because you know you were born male, but if you see someone in the street they don't know and don't think that.

Sent from my GT-S5363

In person, Im yet to meet anyone who hasnt been able to tell.. those photos dont convey it all.. you cant see taht im really quite tall, or that from the side, im very unflattering etc.. but none of that really matters.. I gave up caring about what general people think a while back (you kind of have to..) - the only thing that matters now is what I think about myself.. I dont care if someone else thinks I look male.. but If I do.. well that hurts more then anything they could say :frown:

Reply 92

fallen_acorns

Original post by Michaelj

I'll say, congratulations on being brave to post your pics.

thank you

Reply 93

Lay-Z

If you got with a Guy assuming he didn't know you were.. would you tell him? Especially wondering from that pic earlier in the thread with the woman born a man, you couldn't tell they were once a man. What are the chances the woman your dating used to be a man? Do you think it should be mandatory to tell your partner?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 94

Willbean

Original post by fallen_acorns

Mod Edit: Please keep the conversation on topic and keep it civil. No spamming; no insulting; no attacks. Please read through the thread to see if your question has already been asked.

Right.. - over the past few days/weeks even, its became quite clear, through many different threads - that the public's general knowledge of trans issues, is quite lacking..
This is of course, very understandable.. there are so few of us - its rare to know one of us.. but its a problem that can fairly easily be changed :smile:

I'm always more then encouraged by peoples want, and desire to educate themselves on these issues. The amount of times that I meet an individual, where I am the first trans person they have ever met - and all they want to do is ask questions. They are not trying to be rude, or insulting.. its just not something they know about, and its something which can be quite interesting.

I am of the opinion that the acceptance of trans people by society, directly correlates with the general public's knowledge and awareness of trans issues... once people understand the situation, how it works, why it happens etc.. - they are usually very tolerant and understanding..

So that brings us to this thread.

An open free space, where you can ask me, what ever you like(within reason) - and I will do my best, to try and answer it...

hopefully through this, some of you, can gain a slightly better understanding of this, and other gender minorities... so that next time you see one on the street, you meet one at work etc. - you will know what they are, what they are going through, and how to treat them :smile:

- instead of the usual 'oh my god, a she-male' - type thoughts..

so, ask away...

(By request, there are some pictures on post #84 http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2230088&page=5&p=41531944#post41531944 )

I find that picture so strange, from male to female. Such a huge difference. Anyway, congratulations.

Reply 95

fallen_acorns

Original post by Lay-Z

Personally yes, I would always tell them.

Its a huge part of my life, and history.. and quite frankly, with me.. there would be no way they wouldnt know. Sure I can wear make-up and dress up nice, but when dating me they will see me at my worst, in mornings when im stubly, when I havent fully shaven everywhere, when Im not wearing any makeup etc.. someone who dates me, has to be ok with me being transgender..

To keep that large part of who I am, and what ive been through secret.. wouldnt feel right.

However, I dont feel its my place to make that decision for others. Other transgirls should tell people (if they dont arleady know) when they are ready. For most that will be instantly, if its not already obvious, if for some they want to get to know them a bit better, then its up to them :smile:

Reply 96

fallen_acorns

Original post by Willbean

I find that picture so strange, from male to female. Such a huge difference. Anyway, congratulations.

thanks, Persoanlly I really dont see that much of a difference.. but thats because I know myslelf/only ever see myself, and therefor struggle to see anything but myself, and notice the difference..

But its nice to know other people can see the change :smile:

Reply 97

Willbean

Original post by fallen_acorns

Honestly, the change is drastic and quite shocking. Anyway, how did the operation feel? Do you feel any different now? What were your first thoughts when you woke up after the operation?

I've never actually seen a trans or spoke to one in my life. Then again, I probably did not realise.

If we met, I definitely won't be able to tell if your a trans or not. Once again, congratulations.

Reply 98

fallen_acorns

Original post by Willbean

I havent had any operations yet :smile:

Im currently pre-op, but on HRT (hormone therapy)

+ hehe, in person you probably would tell :tongue:

I can look flattering in photos.. but doing it in real life is alot harder :frown:

Thank you though :smile:

Im not sure how I can convey how much these positive comments mean to me. For someone who constatnly has to live hating and feeling horrible about their body, positive words just make life that little bit easier.