He wants to do it without protection

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Agree with the above posters, it'll be safe as long as you take your pill properly (use condoms for a week if you miss a pill/have a stomach upset/take antibiotics etc.) or if you know you're going to be in a committed relationship and don't want the worry of having to remember the pill why not consider long acting reversible contraception like the implant or a coil? I have a mirena coil and it's fab, I have the shortest lightest periods and I've not had to worry about forgetting to take my pill, and it's good for five years...when I get it removed will be when my partner and I will be trying to conceive so it's win-win!

Reply 21

StacFace

As others have said there isn't any contraception method that is 100% safe. However I would feel comfortable with unprotected sex after we'd both been tested if I was on the pill. I agree with discussing between you what would happen if you did get pregnant, me and my boyfriend have discussed this even though we haven't gone that far yet. Both agreed that we wouldn't keep it because we've not been seeing each other that long and I'd want to at least finish uni before having kids. When it gets to around 9 months before I finish uni (or if one of us decides we'd rather keep it if it happens) then we'll then need to talk about it again.

Reply 22

Pigling

The pill is very effective (perfect use failure rate 0.3%/year according to wiki), but it's always good to have discussion about what would happen if you did get pregnant. Also, if you want to be even more sure, methods like the implant/injection are even more reliable than the pill (failure rate as low as sterilisation).

Reply 23

Serentonin

If you take it properly you'll be fine. I've been with my bf 2+ years, been having sex for majority of that with just pill as protection, 5/6 times a week and I'm yet to get pregnant haha.

Reply 24

jamesetta

If he is unfaithful even once you run the risk of chlamydia, herpes, HIV etc. He is unlikely to ever admit to being unfaithful and so you're better off just sticking with the condoms, surely the tiny bit of extra hassle is trumped by the benefits.

Reply 25

CRIKEY12

I would say absolutely, let him go ahead ON HIS OWN and let him do it without protection.
Then you may view him with my eyes and name him appropriately.

Reply 26

bananaslug77

Original post by iJess

Well I was on the pills to control my periods so that was the point of me taking the pill with condoms. I'm on the implant now

Yeah me too. But it also protects against pregnancy so double bonus. I wouldn't be making a guy I trusted wear a condom and lose out on having as much fun as me during sex...

Reply 27

CRIKEY12

Original post by iJess

Well I was on the pills to control my periods so that was the point of me taking the pill with condoms. I'm on the implant now

Have you never heard of chlamydia or its cousin and co partner endometriosis?

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 28

CRIKEY12

http://www.tht.org.uk/sexual-health/HIV-STIs/Sexually-transmitted-infections/Chlamydia

Ok so I can't spell, but here is useful information about STIs if you go to the link.
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Endometriosis/Pages/Introduction.aspx
They don't know the cause, suspect a route. Who knows. But it is very painful

Reply 29

iJess

Original post by CRIKEY12

Have you never heard of clamidya or its cousin and co partner endometriosis?

Whats your point here? I got tested for chlamydia but it was genuinely some problem I had with my periods that my GP put me on the pill when I was 13..

Reply 30

desdemonata

Original post by CRIKEY12

What's your point about STIs? The person in the OP specifically said they would both get tested to make sure they were clean before having sex without condoms.

Reply 31

CRIKEY12

STIs can take many months or even years in your body before they show up in a test.

Chlamydia is horrid, and can lead to other complications.
The oral contraceptive pill, the cap, the copper7 the mirena coil, the implant are great at avoiding conception, that is a worry if you are sexually active. My point is that you should be also considering safer sex techniques so that your general health is not at risk.

Fidelity is a great and aspirational goal, but not always possible in all cases. If there is even a hint in a solid relationship of one or other partners seeking sex outside the relationship then barrier methods of contraception should be used.
You are young and experimental.
Be careful with your own health.
untreated Chlamydia may lead to infertility, that you may only discover when you want to have a family.

Reply 32

desdemonata

Original post by CRIKEY12

The OP is clearly being careful what with getting them both tested, even though neither of them have ever done it without condoms. And she was being very safe using both a barrier and a hormonal method of contraception :rolleyes:

And now you're saying one of them might cheat? Seriously?

Reply 33

CRIKEY12

Original post by desdemonata

And now you're saying one of them might cheat? Seriously?

Don't you think that in a frank and open debate it is a good idea to consider the proposal from all angles?
Maybe they will always be together.
Maybe they are so happy together they will never stray.
But also maybe every angle should be at least considered

Reply 34

Anonymous #1

Been on the pill for 4 years and never got pregnant. I make sure I use condoms when on antibiotics etc and get myself tested for STIs every time I get a new prescription/if I'm worried (like when my ex cheated on me). I've never ever missed a pill (once accidentally took two in one day). As long as you're sensible, it'll be fine :smile:

Reply 35

Pigling

Original post by CRIKEY12

Have you never heard of chlamydia or its cousin and co partner endometriosis?

What are you talking about? Chlamydia has nothing to do with endometriosis. Endometriosis is not an STI.

Also, of course it depends on the individual and what they are comfortable - but most people don't lead long term, serious relationships in the constant fear that not only will their partner cheat, but they will do so without protection! How do you plan to ever have children if you can't trust a partner enough to have sex without condoms? Your advice is extremely pertinent to those engaging in casual sex or having sex with a new partner, but a good stretch too far for those with long-term partners imo.

The vast majority of STIs do not take many months to show up in test, and there is no STI which takes more than a maximum 6 months. If you're going to preach safety, at least stick to the facts!

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 36

CRIKEY12

Also why is the original question "HE wants to do it without protection" why not "WE want to do it without protection". Is there perhaps a hint of reluctance?

Reply 37

desdemonata

Original post by CRIKEY12

No, you're not considering another angle, you're saying something that really doesn't apply. Considering they have never had unsafe sex and are both getting tested anyway, STIs are a non-issue. The only time they would become an issue would be if one of them had unsafe sex with another person who wasn't clean and didn't tell the other person about it and slept with them, and the chances of that happening when neither of them have ever slept around (and I assume been unfaithful) is abysmal.

Reply 38

gmarshall7

Original post by Carly93

Basically, I am on the pill. He is my first boyfriend and he's just dated one girl before me, never slept around. Even though he has never had sex before without a condom, I still asked him to get tested (both of us) to make sure that we are clean before having sex without protection and just relying on the pill. He agreed to get tested.

Now, would you guys do it? do you think it's safe? after both of us getting tested and being on the pill as well.

Oh.

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Reply 39

desdemonata

Original post by CRIKEY12

Also why is the original question "HE wants to do it without protection" why not "WE want to do it without protection". Is there perhaps a hint of reluctance?

She's obviously cautious. A lot of girls are overly paranoid about getting pregnant, I'm one of them, but that just means we're careful.

But at the end of the day, the pill is a method of contraception. This is what it is for.