Scared about our future

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, and we met at uni. Next year she is having to move to a different campus due to her course. We've talked about this and we've both agreed that we want it to work, but I'm still really worried that we won't last - it means that our whole relationship at the start of summer is going to be a LDR, and the next time that we will be able to see each other on a daily basis would be if we lived with each other, which realistically is about 3 or so years away.

I love her so much and I never want to lose her. I can honestly see myself settling down with her in the future, but as I said I'm worried that we might not make it through the LDR due to how long it could be.

I guess I just need some reassurance, or any advice really.
Thanks

Reply 1

Fish&Chips

OP

anyone?

Reply 2

desdemonata

19

LDRs can and do work. If you both make the effort and are willing to wait before you can see each other on a daily basis, there's no reason why it can't :smile:

You can still Skype/call/text everyday. How far away is she going to be, hours wise?

Reply 3

Fish&Chips

OP

About 3 hours when at uni next year (both in our 3rd year) and then 2 hours when we're at home. So i guess that's not too bad

Reply 4

Studentus-anonymous

12

As said, LDR's require a lot of effort and willpower on both sides of the relationship, this usually means that successful LDR's are by those couples who have already had long and invested relationships prior to the distance.

This is also why I tend to think serious serious relationships in university are generally a bad idea, seeing as the uni workload and importance take up substantial amount of someone's attention, and then followed by the changing circumstances during and after mean that 'marrying out of college' rarely happens.

It's up to you and your girlfriend to decide to give it or go or not. I can't tell you any guaranteed way to make it work because there isn't. it will be hard, it will feel ****, and you will miss each other, and there is a solid chance it may not survive.

The question then is simply, do you want to try it on the chance you'll make it to the other side, have you got solid goals and time-scale to end the LDR situation and would you regret having not made the attempt to stick it out?

Best of luck OP.

I wouldn't personally get into a relationship if I felt it wouldn't be face-to-face for the foreseeable future but if it did pop up with someone I properly cared about I'd probably give it a go just so I wouldn't regret not having tried.

Try or do not try though, there is no right answer. Just what you think is right.

Reply 5

desdemonata

19

Original post by Fish&Chips

About 3 hours when at uni next year (both in our 3rd year) and then 2 hours when we're at home. So i guess that's not too bad

It's manageable. I'm further away than that from my partner and manage to see him every weekend. That's still close enough that if you really want to, you can make an impulse/emergency trip and see each other. The worst thing for me when I was in a LDR that spanned countries was knowing even if I wanted to and could/would pay just for a hug to feel better, there was no way I could.

LDRs are hard, and you will miss each other, but this isn't going to doom your relationship to failure. If you both try, you have a good chance of getting through it and coming out the other side (I know a married couple who did UK-Australia for years for a work placement).

Reply 6

redferry

19

Original post by Fish&Chips

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year, and we met at uni. Next year she is having to move to a different campus due to her course. We've talked about this and we've both agreed that we want it to work, but I'm still really worried that we won't last - it means that our whole relationship at the start of summer is going to be a LDR, and the next time that we will be able to see each other on a daily basis would be if we lived with each other, which realistically is about 3 or so years away.

I love her so much and I never want to lose her. I can honestly see myself settling down with her in the future, but as I said I'm worried that we might not make it through the LDR due to how long it could be.

I guess I just need some reassurance, or any advice really.
Thanks

One of my best friends stayed with his gf in third year with her in France for a year abroad and him in the UK. He now lives in York and she is still in Bristol and they are still together. The moral of the story - it can work if both parties really want it to.

Scared about our future

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