Do I tell him this? QUICK ADVICE PLEASE!

Basically my guy friend who I have know for about 3months now.. We had sex last week and didn't use contraception. Since this, I got a urine infection (whether it was down to sex or not I'm unsure) and i get pain when I unrinate and I also had the morning after pill to be on the safe side. I can't test for any STD yet as it is too early. Anyway, he is coming over again in a bit to chill with me and watch a film. But, I'm scared if he makes a move on me because I DON'T want to have sex with him. Should I tell him why (because of my unrine infection) OR does he not need a reason, just say I'm tired or something?!

I'm just wondering if telling him something like that would be embarassing or a turn-off for him.

Reply 1

xOHarriet

It's not unusual for it to sting when you pee for a few days after some particularly rough sex, it doesn't always mean an infection.

If you're close enough with him to have sex with him, you should be able to tell him that sex with him gave you a urine infection.

But if it's too embarrassing just tell him you can't have sex with him because you're on your period - every girl gets them, it's not your fault and he can't blame himself.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by xOHarriet

It's not unusual for it to sting when you pee for a few days after some particularly rough sex, it doesn't always mean an infection.

If you're close enough with him to have sex with him, you should be able to tell him you have a urine infection.

But if it's too embarrassing just tell him you can't have sex with him because you're on your period - every girl gets them, it's not your fault and he can't blame himself.

I've actually been to the doctors and been given anti biotics for it. I know I could say period but I used that excuse like 2 weeks ago lol

Reply 3

Future-doc

just be honest and outright with him!
surely he cares enough about you to appreciate such an excuse!!

Reply 4

xOHarriet

Original post by Anonymous

I've actually been to the doctors and been given anti biotics for it. I know I could say period but I used that excuse like 2 weeks ago lol

Oh right haha, well I guess you're best off just telling him then, any other excuse will most likely make him feel like you're not interested in sex because of him - he'd be more likely to be embarrassed by an obviously made up excuse than a genuine one.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by xOHarriet

Ok, will explain the truth. I did ask him to stop during sex cause he was hurting me (not on purpose) but it felt like he was going too deep (sorry for the technical details) but is that like what 'rough' sex is? and i did tell him after cos he asked what was wrong and I just said it was hurting. Can u actually get a urine infection from it? I defo didn't have any pain etc before having sex with him so it's the only thing I can pin point it on. But i don't want to offend him or make it sound like it's his fault lol.

Reply 6

bluechinchilla

You probably have cystitus (sp?) a urinary infection this is not an STD and is common in women; old men and cats (because they don't drink much fluid)! You can't catch it, and if you have no symptoms don't worry. look it up on the internet.

Reply 7

xOHarriet

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah, sex is actually a really common cause of urine infections, it's no one's fault it just happens sometimes. You should always pee as soon as you can after sex, it clears all the bacteria which can get in there during sex and makes the chances of a UTI far less likely. As long as you're carful how you word telling and make sure you're still physical with him afterwards I'm sure everything will be fine.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by bluechinchilla

thanks for the reply.. yeah it is cystitus, i have symptoms (been to the doctors and have anti biotics). i just wondered if it is related to sex as I had nothing like it before having sex with him. I know it's not an STD or anything..and is it something to be embarassed about?

Reply 9

rainbowbex

Nothing to be embarressed about UTI's are common in women especially if you're sexually active. If you're going to have sex with him please use proper contraception. the "morning after pill" is not infalliable (in fact if you've got to about day 12 in your cycle it's ineffective - I assume you took levonelle) There are so many options out there, use one of them!!! And do try and use condoms as well, especially with new/one offs as they are the only thing that are going to stop you from getting an STI and SOME STI's STAY WITH YOU FOREVER! (I'm only emphasising this cos some people believe they are all treatable)

Sorry, bit of a mini-lecture :colondollar:

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

Original post by rainbowbex

I know if there's anything i regret it's not using a condom! I have loads of them but was "in the moment" and didn't think to stop it and put one on. But that's defo a lesson learnt - whether I end up with being pregnant, or an STD or not! I feel like, why put myself through all this drama and stress when it would only take a min to get a condom on him. Like, the worry of "if I get pregnant or have an STD" is defo not worth it. I don't mean to give to much detail but before he ejaculated he came out and didn't do it inside me.. I know there are thinks like precum and the chance of him not pulling out at the right time. But does that decrease the risk of me being pregnant?

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Sorry for my grammar and typo's tonight i'm very tired lol

Reply 12

rainbowbex

Original post by Anonymous

I know condom's are a pain in the moment - but there are some really good contraceptives that you don't even need to think about! the implant, mirena coil, or copper coil if you want something without hormones. (the former have the advantage of potentially no periods!)

withdrawal is a notoriously unreliable method, but can reduce your risk, and no contraceptive is perfect. The copper coil can be used as emergency contraception too, up to 5 days post sex. Regarding sti's for chlamydia and gonorrhoea it's about a week post sex they can test (I think)

Reply 13

Mankytoes

Original post by xOHarriet

I haven't heard the peeing after sex thing before, link? In any case, it would ruin cuddling a bit...

I suggest you say you can't have sex because of "women's problems", maybe gesture to your vagina if he's a bit slow on the uptake. Generally, we like as few details as possible. I would also specify to him you do want sex in the future, or he might think it's an excuse to get out of it.

Ah, condoms, so easy to lecture on when it's other people. I was always saying "how could anyone go unprotected? So stupid." That was until I started having sex...