Question for the girls?

How is the best way to try and chat up a girl on a night out? Is it to start dancing? Or somehow try a simple conversation? Or just be nice and ask if they would like a drink? My confidence isn't the best, any advice would be welcome (except for any sarcastic answers)

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Reply 1

danielaandrea

To not be a typical guy and be yourself! (as cheesy as that sounds). For me it wouldn't be the dancing, guys grinding up on your isn't the best sometimes. A drink and some friendly conversation can go a long way, they might be surprised if you don't flirt with them straight away and show them you actually want a conversation y'know? and I don't know about other girls but I prefer it more than a guy coming up to me and randomly start flirting with me. Hope this helps

Reply 2

chrismorris6

Thanks for the advice, the hardest part is actually making the move to start a conversation though, if that makes sense?

Reply 3

username1012984

Original post by chrismorris6

Thanks for the advice, the hardest part is actually making the move to start a conversation though, if that makes sense?

You know when your waiting at a busy bar? Occasionally you get a hot girl stood next to you waiting too. Just ask her how her night is going and take it from there. :cool:

Or if you smoke the best thing is smoking areas, its basically just one big social group. Obviously pretty bad for your health though!

Reply 4

Sereni

Original post by chrismorris6

You arent likely to get a very good answer on this thread. Never just start grinding on someone, if you want to just hook up on the dance floor use your smile, if you catch her eye and she smiles back approach her and dance with her a bit, then its on you to judge a good moment to go for a kiss. That one relies pretty heavily on luck and how good looking you are. If you want to use your witty charm try the smoking area, and it helps if you have either a lighter or fags. Its kind of sad but ive found can i get you a drink to have the highest success rate by quite a bit. Fact is there are hundreds of threads like this and you are never gonna get a very good answer because in clubs you can barely hear yourself think so almost sll of it is body language which you dont learn by reading you learn by doing.

If you really want to lean the art of sharking get yourself a few experienced sharkers and just go for it. Keep in mind that looking good helps, smiling is your main weapon and your secret weapon is that almost no-one turns down a free drink. And as a side point the smoking area has a higher k/d ratio because you can actually talk.

Reply 5

Sereni

Original post by chrismorris6

Thanks for the advice, the hardest part is actually making the move to start a conversation though, if that makes sense?

This is what wingmen aree for, building up your confidence for this step. Try "haaaaaave you met ted?"

Reply 6

chrismorris6

Original post by Sereni

This is what wingmen aree for, building up your confidence for this step. Try "haaaaaave you met ted?"

Haha, the first post was some good advice. Just a shame I don't smoke, and I don't have any intention of smoking either.

What's with the "have you met ted"? :s-smilie:

Reply 7

georose

Personally, I like it when a guy just starts talking to me. Make a good conversation, maybe buy her a drink. If it goes well, ask her if she wants to go dance. And don't do this to all the girls in the club/pub, definite turn off.

Reply 8

Sereni

Original post by chrismorris6

Haha, the first post was some good advice. Just a shame I don't smoke, and I don't have any intention of smoking either.

What's with the "have you met ted"? :s-smilie:

Its a reference to how i met your mother the tv show. I dont smoke much either but i still carry a lighter most of the time, partly because i like fire, partly because i do sometimes smoke socially and partly because it lets you be the white knight when a girl asks for a light. You dont have to smoke to go to the smoking area, i often just go there for fresh air. Another bit of advice id give would be that you should keep in mind clubs vary a lot. Student clubs are much better for just hooking up on the dance floor especially in freshers you can rack up a pretty high body count. Another thing to keep in mind is to go with a group as its fine to go off sharking by yourself but you need an anchor or you become that guy who just creeps on girls all night. The thing about smiling is really key, last time i went out i was really just going out with mates but i caught a girl looking and gave her a smile and a wink, when the nught was dying down i bumped into her again and with no real conversation got right into it. Later found out her name was Kayleigh or sumthink that rhymes with that. I also find it helps start off the night if you pull, or at least get a number at predrinks as then you have the confidence to approach girls later in the night

Reply 9

babyvet

Start chatting definitely, tbh if she starts dancing straight off it's entirely likely she may be off her face- this applies to me anyway :L

Buying a drink is always nice but make sure shes actually interested otherwise she'll have an awesome night and you'll be out of pocket...

Reply 10

Mankytoes

Talk to girls at the bar and in the smoking area (i don't smoke but I spend ages in there!). Don't buy them drinks, it just makes you look overly keen.

Pretty much this.

Original post by chrismorris6

Whatever you do, just don't be the guy who works his way around the club grinding on everyone and grabbing peoples' bums. :yucky:

IMO the best way is just to get chatting to people at the bar, ask them if you can buy them a drink, go from there. Once you've had a few drinks I'm sure you'll find it a bit easier to chat, so try not to worry!

Original post by Pawsies

Pretty much this.

This.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 13

EllaBella<3

A smile goes a million miles! :smile:

Reply 14

EonBlueApocalypse

Original post by freedom810

You know when your waiting at a busy bar? Occasionally you get a hot girl stood next to you waiting too. Just ask her how her night is going and take it from there. !

This is the best way in a nightclub, most girls are bored because they have been waiting to be served for ages and more likely to be up for talking to people.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

my secret is sambuca. For some reason, whenever I drink sambuca on a night out, i end up pulling. Wash the taste down with a jagerbomb obviously. Tequila is an acceptable alternative although I find it doesn't do the trick quite as well.

The one issue is that sambuca really ruins your perception of how hot a girl is, even more than alcohol normally does.. But when you end up with a really hot girl, it makes up for the ones that aren't so great.

Reply 16

aspirinpharmacist

If you just want to pull, go and dance with someone who looks very drunk. Don't try grinding on people though, it's just irritating. But you're not going to find "The One" in a nightclub. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of lovely people who go clubbing, but it doesn't show off the best side of their personalities when the music's so loud you can't actually talk to them.

Reply 17

Mankytoes

Original post by emilie18

Whatever you do, just don't be the guy who works his way around the club grinding on everyone and grabbing peoples' bums. :yucky:

"Ask if you can buy them a drink"? Come on, you must know that isn't confident, dominant behaviour that will get him girls. Oh please pretty girl, let me have the honour of buying you a drink so you will repay me with attention. I know you must love getting free drinks, I would, but it's pretty sneaky really.

Never act like you are lower than a girl. You aren't privileged to have her attention, you aren't a wimpy suck up like those other guys who buy her drinks and tell her how beautiful she is. You are the cool, confident guy, who she is lucky to be talking to because you're funny and good company.

Buying girls drinks was outdated the moment women could get decent careers.

Reply 18

emilie18

Original post by Mankytoes

Seriously, what is your problem? :lolwut:

It's a nice gesture - most girls would be flattered, they wouldn't just think "kerching, free drink". The majority would at least give the guy a chance. From this post, I'm guessing you're also the kind of guy who thinks men should never pay on the first date or hold the door open for women :lol:

"You must know that isn't confidant, dominant behaviour that will get him girls".
1) I think it's confidant - I guess it's like anything, depends on the way you do it. Quietly mumble about a drink and she might not get what you're asking, smile and chat to her over a drink is confidant and a good way to get to know someone.
2) Why should someone try and appear "dominant" to - as you so charmingly put it - "get girls". Newsflash: acting arrogant and cocky and as though the girl is "lucky to be talking to him" is a major turn-off for a lot of girls.

Telling a girl she's beautiful makes a guy a "wimpy suck up"? She should think herself lucky because you've bothered to speak to her? Guys should act "dominant" when talking to girls?.... Seriously - a lot of girls would disagree with you. Everyone likes to be complimented and treated with respect, what you've said sounds like a load of nonsense to be honest.

Reply 19

Pastaferian

Original post by chrismorris6

Step away from the dance floor! Starting a conversation is a better opener, imo. And don't ask "Would you like a drink?" because that's a closed question which can be answered with a "No". Instead, ask open questions like "What would you like to drink?" or "What are you drinking?" Remember, the aim is get them talking to you in whole sentences, not monosyllables. Good luck!