Domestic violence case

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Reply 20

Snagprophet

So wait, did you leave afterwards? Or did you stay? Didn't you talk to each other or make up?

Reply 21

AyeFaye

Original post by Wilfred Little

She just wanted to play the victim card more than likely. It's just funny that she's basically admitted to phoning the police and saying "Hi, I hit my boyfriend, he hit me back and I'd like you to go round and give him a telling off" :confused:

What is a joke though, is if they've both admitted to the police to slapping each other, why is he the one in trouble?

I don't think the OP told the police she hit him first. Surely if she did she'd be just as guilty of domestic violence as he is?

She called in the allegation, and unfortunately, domestic violence against men generally isn't taken seriously yet.

I do feel he was more in the wrong than she, but unless particularly shaken, calling the police only highlights other issues in the relationship.

Reply 22

username917703

Original post by AyeFaye

He was more in the wrong until she phoned the police I think, not now. In my opinion anyway.

You're right with the first bit though, thing is though if men report it they're told they should be able to defend themselves yet when we actually do, this happens. Can't win.

Reply 23

AyeFaye

Original post by Wilfred Little

Technically, by calling the police, she did the right thing. The only thing she did wrong was stay with him. But relationships aren't black and white.

In a simple tally, he's more in the wrong: physically restraining a person isn't just a physical act, but a control act and very distressing. He also, when hit (which I regard as self defence), returned the slap AND elevated to pulling her hair.

He was in the wrong. Massively.

Reply 24

username917703

Original post by AyeFaye

Technically, by calling the police, she did the right thing.

In a simple tally, he's more in the wrong: physically restraining a person isn't just a physical act, but a control act and very distressing. He also, when hit (which I regard as self defence), returned the slap AND elevated to pulling her hair.

He was in the wrong. Massively.

He was in the wrong until she phoned the police yeah, she didn't want to press charges she just wanted to **** him up a bit basically. She's even said that herself. Tbh he was in the wrong but I don't get why you've added "massively", makes it sound worse than it is. She was the first one to actually attack.

FTR I just saw she says he was given the opportunity to issue a statement against her but declined so I take back my earlier comment.

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 25

AyeFaye

Original post by Wilfred Little

Do you mean in the eyes of the law?

If she wasn't intending to press charges then no she didn't do the right thing because all she's done is waste police time and trivialise domestic abuse. She says she wasn't even hurt or scared.

He was in the wrong until she phoned the police yeah, she didn't want to press charges she just wanted to **** him up a bit basically. She's even said that herself. Tbh he was in the wrong but I don't get why you've added "massively", makes it sound worse than it is. She was the first one to actually attack.

FTR I just saw she says he was given the opportunity to issue a statement against her but declined so I take back my earlier comment.

Okay, maybe adding massively was a mistake. It's a tricky case. If she were completely shaken and terrified about the incident I would have nothing but 100% support for her. But alas. I'm also trying to think about it from my own perspective and if it had been my boyfriend and I in the same altercation. But every relationship is different, and I'm tired.

So before rambling into idiocy I'm just going to leave it.

Reply 26

redferry

Look if you come forward and say you hit him first and there is no serious damage to you, he's unlikely to get 6 months in jail, DV doesn't have a massively high conviction rate if the victim withdraws or goes back on what they said.

Actually sounds to me like the police are dealing with it in the right way for once.

Reply 27

username221592

Original post by Anonymous

The next day I ended up calling the police and telling them about the incident but even before I said anything, I made it clear I didn't want to take things to a further level - all I really wanted was a warning to be given to him so that it would never happen again