Sex with an ex

Why would people want to have sex with their ex particularly when you have been broken up months and months? Especially when that person has turned down other potential offers, so to speak.

I don't understand, unless you have literally just broken up. Surely if you claim you are moved on then you would focus your attention at others and not at your past? :confused:

Reply 1

myah_94

Maybe some people just want sex regardless

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by myah_94

Maybe some people just want sex regardless

Thats true. But I don't really know why you would turn down other new, exciting offers/dates for a quick fling with your ex...

Reply 3

DankJ

Well, when I broke up with one of my ex's it had nothing to do with our physical attraction or sex life. We still remained good friends and at the time, for around 5 months afterwards, we were both single and lived quite close to each other. It just made sense to continue having sex as we both liked sex with each other.

We broke up just over 3 years ago but whenever were both single we end up sleeping together. Not all relationships end badly and not everyone thinks sex is a big deal.

Reply 4

Lexi99

Because you know that sex with your ex was good, you know how to please each other, you dont have to try and get someone else into bed, you know that your ex already fancies you

Reply 5

myah_94

Original post by Anonymous

Thats true. But I don't really know why you would turn down other new, exciting offers/dates for a quick fling with your ex...

They probably feel more comfortable, less awkward cuz they've know each other...it's more casual, I don't know

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by DankJ

Assuming when one of you start seeing someone new, did that affect either of you or cause jealousy?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Lexi99

Because you know that sex with your ex was good, you know how to please each other, you dont have to try and get someone else into bed, you know that your ex already fancies you

Thais quite a logical way of thinking it. Then if that is the case, the person should not be upset or jealous of their ex moving on to a new partner at some point?

Reply 8

Lexi99

Original post by Anonymous

Thais quite a logical way of thinking it. Then if that is the case, the person should not be upset or jealous of their ex moving on to a new partner at some point?

Not necessarily. I think you're confusing sex with emotional attachment. You dont have to have feelings for someone to have sex with them

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by Lexi99

Not necessarily. I think you're confusing sex with emotional attachment. You dont have to have feelings for someone to have sex with them

Yeah I see that, but if that person was jealous and upset then that would surely indicate emotional attachment and not just seeing that person in a purely sexual light?

Reply 10

DankJ

Original post by Anonymous

Assuming when one of you start seeing someone new, did that affect either of you or cause jealousy?

Well I broke up with her so I had no reason to be jealous, if I wanted to be in a relationship with her I could be. I waited until she started seeing someone else before I found a new partner so she wouldnt be jealous.

She is truly my best friend and I trust her completely. The sex is just a bit of fun when were both single, we know what each other likes and it works because we dont make a big deal about it.

Reply 11

.Scout.

I think having sex with an ex is never a good idea. There's always the issue of past feelings flaring up and for things to get complicated.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by DankJ

Oh I see! I see how that could work although the situation I am referring to in this post is sort of the opposite. The person who broke off the relationship is wanting to sleep together but is jealous and touchy when he finds out if his ex has been on a date/interested in a new guy.

I advised for her to stay away from sex in that case, as it sounds like it could complicate things even further. I think that is the best option right?

Reply 13

Cheshire1990

Original post by Anonymous

Couldn't do such an activity personally, after so many months of being apart. But then I still have feelings for my ex...

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by .Scout.

I think having sex with an ex is never a good idea. There's always the issue of past feelings flaring up and for things to get complicated.

I would have to agree with you to an extent. I think it would be too nostalgic personally.

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

Original post by Cheshire1990

Couldn't do such an activity personally, after so many months of being apart. But then I still have feelings for my ex...

I think if you really want to be friends, then sex isn't normally a normal part of a friendship so why would it be a part of a friendship just because you have already had sex before?..

Reply 16

DankJ

Original post by Anonymous

Yeah I agree with your assessment, he broke up with her so he has no reason to be jealous/touchy, your friend his better off staying away.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

Original post by DankJ

Yeah I agree with your assessment, he broke up with her so he has no reason to be jealous/touchy, your friend his better off staying away.

Yeah that's what I thought. I think he may have more than sexual feelings for her and apparently admitted he can't commit to her yet as he is too scared...

I don't believe sex would make it any easier for either of them and clearly I believe for at least one party, they would be underlying feelings.